Boywatch – Episode 1

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Being a geek parent is a game of waiting. There is so much you want to share with your child. So many TV shows that you enjoyed that you want them to enjoy. I, like many geek moms, is taking the time to introduce my son to these in hopes of bonding. This is the chronicle of those experiences.

Star Trek Original Series

This was the show my husband and I tried to start with. And being naive, we thought it would fun to start from the beginning. Which means. . .

Mantrap

DEAR LORD THIS EPISODE IS SLOW!!! No, really, slow. And really bad. A salt monster who slowly stalks the crew.

This was the first one broadcast?  That is a testament to how long shows had to establish themselves in the 1960s. Given how little time shows have now, this episode would have torpedoed the whole thing. Only thing going for it is that it is McCoy centric. OK, and the fact that the salt monster would take on the appearance of any gender to try and get salt. That was cool for now, let alone 1960s.

And the boy hated it so much, he didn’t want to watch any more.  We had to beg and bribe him to watch

The Trouble with Tribbles

God bless you, David Gerrold. This is an almost perfect episode, with the right mix of humour and action (bar fight anyone?), Klingons and a nice lack of romantic subplot. It also contains my all time favourite scene of Star Trek, ever.

When Kirk opens up a storage container to check on the grain, only to have tribbles rain down on him, I grin. Because for the rest of that scene consists of random tribbles drop down on Kirk, many hitting him in the head. You know there is a prop person sitting on a ladder aiming at Shatner’s head as the scene went on and on. I like to fantasize that I am that prop guy. It gets better, too. I have heard that they had to reshoot this scene several times. Maybe many of the prop guys had the same fantasy.

And let’s talk about storing grain in the overhead compartment. That’s where the carry-on goes, people. Grain goes under the seat!

The boy loved the episode, especially the barfight.

So at the end of our first installment of Boywatch, we had mixed results. The boy is not sure if he wanted to continue, but we had a secret weapon.

An exhibit.

I Love Nina!

So another week of Project Runway, and another week of drama and mean guy behaviour. This week’s challenge is to make a look that transitions from normal light to black light. It’s a tie in with an eyeware that transitions from bright light to low light.  Because, marketing.

There is a hokey reveal with Heidi and Tim pulling a novelty sized light switch, but the cool part of this challenge is that designers are given a handheld black light to take to Mood. And now that I know they exist, I want a handheld blacklight. I have no idea what I would use it for, but I want it.

So the designers head to mood and find material to make their looks. And there are some people who embrace it. Erin has a neat idea of sweet in the light, slutty in black light, Roberi has fabric that creates a cool effect and Dexter is all about the fringe. Others are floundering. Kimber due to her patterns and Brik due to his desire not to be in the bottom again.

Tim does the rounds, giving some very necessary feedback to Jenni, Cornelius, Kimber, Brik, and Mah-Jing. Jenni and Mah-Jing scrap looks and restart. Jenni has a particularly hard time of it, making four different pieces in a day, which itself deserves a win. (Ask me how long it took to make one pj pants.) Cornelius goes for spray painting emojis, and is a little cynical about it. He is also not content to let his talent speak for itself, but instead starts to get his claws out for Erin and Nathalia. The other designers are aware of what’s going on, with my fave Alex referring to him as Lady Cornelius from the Land of Shade.

So Runway time, and the looks are here, there and everywhere.

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Brik’s is BORING, but the judges think he’s safe.

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Also safe, and bizarre, Lawrence, who had an AMAZING coat, but took advantage of her immunity by clothing the lower half of the model in a handkerchief, something Alex alluded to earlier in the show.

So our top three.

Jenni’s struggling comes up with a cool plastic coat and skirt, which she handpaints. And it looks cool, although not as cool as Dexter’s fringe. I wouldn’t wear it, but I see why it caught their attention.

Cornelius manage to stop throwing shade long enough to make the emoji dress. The judges are in love with its surprise, although Brik went with the same surprise, white dress, under black light, colours! Now, I admit, Cornelius stepping gleefully into the villain role has ruined my opinion of or interest in his designs, but my favourite comment about the look was Alex’s “What no poop emoji?”

And the winner is Erin. Again. She has now won the best 2 out of 3, which I think means she gets to pick first at the next Project Runway kickball game. In all seriousness, the look is cute in the light. I really liked the pattern she made. In blacklight, it is supposed to be slutty, but it is the same thing, just radioactive.

Bottom three:

Rik’s look didn’t thrill me in the light, but under blacklight, I kind of liked it.  According to the judges, this means my taste in fashion is dated and questionable. But he is not bad enough to be in the bottom two.

Poor Mah-Jing. He was all weepy and stressed this episode, being away from his family on Father’s Day. Which I am certain the producers made sure to prompt the contestants to remind him of. This affects his design, which is sad, sad, sad. He would have been better to have painted a design on the dress, rather than splash it with paint so it resembles a dropcloth.

But it is Kimber who gets to pack her needles and go, with a dress with a print that could have been a shawl your grandma made. She seems to think it pops under blacklight, but it does not, and the puff paint seems to do nothing. Judge Zach likes the print, which I’m sure caused Nina to question his taste level, given the look on her face when this outfit came down the runway. But Kimber things it’s awesome and the judges do not like this lack of contrition.

So Kimber goes home with her head held high. And Cornelius keeps throwing shade at Erin, but Erin is having none of it.

Oh, ominous previews for next week, including an audible gulp.

But seriously, have you seen the fringe?

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RUNWAY! RUNWAY! RUNWAY!!!

You may have heard that Tim Gunn recently published an editorial the pointed out fashion didn’t want to design for the majority of women. Probably his actual feelings, but also is probably a tie in with this week’s episode.

The task? Design an outfit for the everyday woman, one that is appropriate for all ages and sizes. In 12 hours using $150 worth of fabric from Mood. To be worn by models. Winning look will be featured, sold, distributed, etc. by online retailer JustFab!

So the designers make it work, and there are some looks I, as an everyday, average woman, would wear. And many I would not. There is also some serious cattiness going on with the early emerging “mean designer” Cornelius.

Cornelius is featured saying mean things about a lot of people and a lot of people gave him some serious side eye. This also means I cease to care about his designs. (Please take note, majority of season 14 designers, you were all mean to Ashley, you can all forget about me buying your stuff) Congrats on making the villain slot, Cornelius!

Top Three:
So winning look? Belongs to the elegant Lawrence, who has a sad, beautiful backstory. She made a jumpsuit, that while lovely, I would not wear. Solely because I don’t like the idea of stripping to go pee. Something designers,and the judges, seem to forget.


One of the runners up is also one of my faves, Alex’s chiffon shirt and pants. Yeah, the crop top chemise would not be worn by me, but I would switch that out for a longer chemise. Easy switch and you can change the colours our. Plus, bonus, Alex has proven he is a kind soul who continues his one day a week teaching by helping other designers.

Erin is the final runner up with a nice pop of a colour, but a dress that looked bulky and would only add to a woman’s size, given the neoprene fabric choice. I liked the fact she built in the belt to change the look, but that’s something a decent stylist could teach you to do. But the judges thought it was revolutionary.

Bottom Three:
Kimber found a gorgeous pattern for her top, but then ruined it by making it a floating tent of a crop top. Anything beyond an A Cup would mean you need to pick a matching bra for this outfit. Which, no.  Bonus points though for lining the pockets of the pants with the fabric.

Sadly Brick also turns in a bottom three look, a bland grey jacket and black and white pants. The pattern on the pants is cool, but the pants have the beginnings of a drop crotch, and I don’t think it’s on purpose. There’s also some tummy showing, which again, I am not doing any time soon.

But the losing look belongs to Linda, who thought a knit fabric would be flattering to all women. No, Linda, no. I get that the fabric looks interesting on the shelf, but as someone who taken that super cute knit top off the shelf only only to be bitterly disappointed in the universe in the changeroom, just no. As the judges point out, even the model has a saggy bum. She sadly has also added a white, see-through kimono for some reason. Because that’s something every woman wants to wear.  So this sends her home, even though as Nina points out, she took a risk, while Brick just gave us bland.  But they felt, given her oft repeated backstory, that she was the one who should have rocked this challenge and sent her home.


So all in all, decent episode, but judges, Brik’s sweet beach locks must go home soon. Unless he starts turning out looks like his top from the first challenge on a regular basis, then his talent doesn’t match the rest of the field.

Why Hermione Should Not Have Ended Up With Harry

The Harry Potter series ended in a tidy bow of Harry marrying Ginny and Hermione and Ron ending up together. Many fans didn’t like this, thinking that Hermione and Harry were meant to be together. Even Rowling speculated that she had made a mistake and should have favoured that pairing.

To that, I say poppycock. I mean. I’m all for a good bit of relationship fanfic, but there are some very good reasons why Harry and Hermione should not have ended up together.  Others have written about this, but I needed to get this off my chest.

Why Hermione would not want to be with Harry

Awkward

First off, Hermione is described as the brightest witch of her age. She is an equal to Harry in almost every way. In many ways, she exceeds him. He would not have succeeded without her. But if she marries him, she ceases to be his equal. She becomes “Harry Potter’s Wife”. She will always be second place to him. Brightest witch of her age, but second fiddle to her husband? Would she have been able to climb as high in the Ministry if she had been seen as second fiddle to Harry?

Besides, Hermione ending up with Harry is a trope. The hero defeats the villain and gets the girl as a prize. We’ve seen it a MILLION times before, and sadly, we will see it many, many more times. It’s expected. It’s old. And, quite frankly, it’s dated. By not ending up together, Hermione and Harry change the narrative. Harry doesn’t spend the series fighting bad guys with the woman he loves. It is one of the things that makes the Harry Potter series so endearing, that it doesn’t give into the trope.

Why Hermione might actually want Ron

Awww

This whole discussion also assumes that Harry is the better catch than Ron, but what if Ron really is a better choice? In the books, Ron is described as tall, lanky with red hair, freckles and blue eyes. (There is also a reference to big hands and feet, but let’s not go there.) So he appears to be good looking.  So yeah, attractive.

Ron is also incredibly loyal to his friends, several times actually going at Draco for insulting Hermione or Harry. He also repeatedly risks his life to help Harry bring down Voldemort. That is something to be valued in a partner. Loyalty. He also seems to have a good sense of humour, which is apparently, something women really value in a mate.

But let’s look at his place in the Weasley clan. He is the 6th son, behind the amazing Charlie and  Bill, the pompous Percy and the trouble making Fred and George. He isn’t even the youngest or only girl; that spot is reserved for Ginny. He’s used to being in the background, and while the mirror of Erised shows him wanting to be more, the post-Deathly Hallows world shows that he really isn’t. He becomes an Auror with Harry Potter and helps George with the joke shop.

So Ron seems to be someone who wouldn’t mind if his wife is more successful and powerful than him. In fact, I think he would love that his wife is Hermione Granger. He would have no problem bring the kids to the store while she goes to a conference or a meeting.

His mother is also Molly Weasley, perhaps the strongest willed character in the Harry Potter universe. She is not afraid of voicing her opinion and single handedly raised several heroes of the Second Wizarding War, in addition to being one herself. So Ron is used to being around a strong woman. I can’t see his masculinity being threatened by Hermione’s strong personality. He might even find it comforting and a bit of a turn on.

Why Harry would actually want to be with Ginny

Cute couple

But let’s go back to Harry. In the books he ends up with Ginny. The assumption by the Harry/Hermione crowd is that Ginny is not a desirable mate for Harry. (I think they have something against Weasleys, personally.) But in reality, Ginny is what Harry wants. By the last few books, Harry clearly finds Ginny attractive. (She’s a redhead like his mom.), and Ginny proves herself to be a hero in her own right, leading Dumbledore’s Army and fighting in the Wizarding Wars. But perhaps most importantly, by marrying her, he becomes a Weasley. He gets what he’s always wanted, a large family full of people who love him.

Why does Hermione have to end up with anyone at all?

It’s 2016

Finally, why does Hermione have to end up with anyone at all?  It’s 2016. She could have a complete and happy life without Harry or Ron.  Or with both of them. I get it is a children’s book and there are still societal expectations, but the people behind this theory are adults. Yet they want to lay the “traditional” view over this series.

So in the end, I think Rowling got it right the first time. Hermione with Ron. Harry with Ginny. All this mucking about after seems silly to me.

Project Runway – Season 15 Episode 1

Confession time. I love fashion. I love it’s drama, it’s whimsy, it’s frivolousness. LOVE IT. I don’t follow it too closely, but I do enjoy a good runway show.

As part of this, I have come to love Project Runway, even with all its flaws. I am especially fond of Tim Gunn, who was my alternate birth coach if my husband was unable to attend. Tim never knew about it either.

Imagine him coaching you through labour. Make it work!

So when season 15 started, it was a perfect time to settle in and watch.

Episode 1 brings us the unconventional challenge. Designers are told to use the material at their welcome party to make a look. They have a day and all the glue their glue guns can squirt.

This challenge is a far cry from the original unconventional challenge, which saw Austin make a dress out of corn husks. It also lacks the energy of the season where they tore the mattresses apart for fabric.  But it gives us some cool looks.

The winner is from Erin, who made a dress out of wigs, gumballs and other yellow things.

I also liked Dexter’s look. Who knew a carpet and pillow could be so cute. Dexter, you are my spirit guide!

Brix annoyed me in the pre-season show where he was clearly vamping for the camera, although my distaste from him weakened when I saw sparkly (if badly made) pants and Thor at the beach hair. I’m not saying either was good, but they were pathetically cute in the way of your little cousin. You know its dorky, but you it makes you smile anyways.

 

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But the loser of the week was Ian, who not only got lazy and made a shift dress with some shredded Polaroids taped onto a dress, but he also had the temerity to talk back to Tim when the mentor was trying to help him produce something that would keep him in the competition. Sadly, Ian did not listen and was sent home.

Goodbye, Ian. Let others learn from you, listen to Tim.

 

Now it can be revealed: Joe R. Lansdale’s HAP AND LEONARD: BLOOD AND LEMONADE

Cover by Elizabeth Story

Cover by Elizabeth Story

As many of you may know, I was the editor for Tachyon Publication’s Hap and Leonard, a collection of Hap and Leonard short pieces. It contained all the extant stories (several have been published since) and timed to premiere with the SundanceTV series of the same name. Turns out the book, much like the TV series, was a success, enjoying a reprint shortly after publication. I was tasked by Tachyon publisher Jacob Weisman with approaching Joe about a second Hap and Leonard collection to come out when the second season premiered.

Joe: No. I won’t give Tachyon a second collection.

 

Me (flabbergasted): Huh? But.. the book.. it sold well.. it has a cover you love… we can guarantee Elizabeth [Story, who did the first] again… but.. why?

 

Joe (with a cocky smile): I want to do an original Hap and Leonard novel.

 

Me: I think Jacob will be okay with that.

The book Hap and Leonard: Blood and Lemonade is a mosaic novel of sorts. That’s when you take a bunch of related stories and connect them with adjoining pieces ala The Martian Chronicles and the like.

Here’s some copy I threw together to help explain the book. I hope the fine folks at Tachyon can gussy it up a bit.

Since their first appearance in Savage Season through the recent hit SundanceTV series, the unconventional ass kicking duo of Hap Collins and Leonard Pine captured the hearts of fans everywhere. Now in this unconventional novel, creator Joe R. Lansdale explores the beginnings of the decades long friendship between the white, liberal, good ‘ol boy Hap and the black, Republican, gay, Vietnam veteran Leonard. The complicated tale of violence and humor, set in the racist, homophobic late 60s East Texas, introduces the two boys who grew up into the men, who become far more than friends. They call each other brother.

Watch for Blood and Lemonade this March.

It’s ArmadilloCon time again: Where I’ll be talking, signing, etc.

 

It hasn’t rained in forever, the mercury is hitting triple digits, and we’re just passed the halfway point of the baseball season. It must be time for ArmadilloCon once again!

This year’s con, the 38th such affair, takes place this coming weekend (July 29-31).

Guest of Honor: Wesley Chu

Special Guest (Artist): Dominick Saponaro

Artist Guest: Christina Hess

Editor Guest: Joe Monti

Fan Guest: Ken Keller

Toastmaster: Joe McKinney

 

Tachyon publisher Jacob Weisman and I having a good time at Armadillocon 38 (photo: Brandy Whitten)

Tachyon publisher Jacob Weisman and I having a good time at Armadillocon 38 (photo: Brandy Whitten)

 

As I have for roughly the past 25 years, I’ll be in attendance and because apparently the con organizers have learned nothing, I’ll be sitting in on several panels.

Tarzan
Fri 6:00 PM-7:00 PM Ballroom D
Allen, Finn, Klaw*, Lansdale, Williams

This session will include a history and appreciation of Edgar Rice Burroughs’s character Tarzan, the evolution of the character over time, how different Tarzans have been suited to the times in which they were created, and, of course, the 2016 movie.

Cover by Rocky Kelley

Cover by Rocky Kelley

Autographing
Sat 1:00 PM-2:00 PM Dealers’ Room
Cupp, Klaw, Hilbert, Johnson, Reasoner

 

Attack of the Sequels
Sat 2:00 PM-3:00 PM Ballroom D
Johnson, Klaw*, Maresca, Moore, Sisson, Sullivan

All of this year’s big budget SFF movies were sequels. What are the implications for writers and fans?

 

Classic SFF for Your E Reader
Sat 6:00 PM-7:00 PM Southpark A
Hardy*, Klaw, Rose, Simmons, Wagner, Young

Out-of-print SFF classics are now showing up as e-books. What should you be downloading?

Cover by Alex Solis. design by Elizabeth Story

Cover by Alex Solis. design by Elizabeth Story

Comic Books on TV
Sun 2:00 PM-3:00 PM Ballroom E
Benjamin, Bennett, Ewing*, Klaw, Oliver, Rountree

Panelists talk about comics we are seeing on TV, which ones they like and why, plus any hot rumors as to what is coming up.

 

There will be one difference from previous years. I’ve decided to clear out some of the massively overcrowded Geek Compound, so I have a table this year where I’m selling a bunch of books, graphic novels, comics, and DVDs. Most of the books, graphic novels, and DVDs will be half cover or less (with a sprinkling of collectible books marked higher). Comic books will all be 50 cents each and ARCs $1. For every 4 items, you purchase you get one free (of equal or lesser than your lowest price item).

 

Hope to see everyone this weekend.

Come see me discuss Tarzan & other apey goodness

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Luckily for me some things never go completely out of style. For example, Tarzan comes and goes. And for that reason, I’ll be discussing the legendary ape man from 7-8pm on Thursday, July 28 at Austin’s Malvern Books as part of their bi-monthly Fantastical Fiction series.

Cover by Alex Solis. design by Elizabeth Story

Cover by Alex Solis. design by Elizabeth Story

I’m guessing some other ape goodness will abound as I’ll be signing my anthology The Apes of Wrath (and pretty much anything else you put in front of me).

Hope to see you there.

What’s Old Is New or Kickstarting Joe Lansdale’s RED RANGE

First edition cover by N. C, Wyeth with Martin Thomas

First edition cover by N. C, Wyeth with Martin Thomas

In the 90s, I co-founded MOJO Press, first as a way to publish Weird Business (which I recounted in “The Secret History of Weird Business”) and ultimately as way to introduce the burgeoning graphic novel industry into mainstream bookstores.

Of MOJO’s 18 titles, I edited 15 of them including Joe R. Lansdale’s and Sam Glanzman’s Red Range. Shortly before the graphic novel’s publication, I left my post as managing editor with the press itself going away soon after.

Though the book received largely positive reviews, due largely to the press’s demise, Red Range became one of Lansdale’s rarer books.

Joe R. Lansdale’s certainly a modern legend himself, having been around for some time now. But comics artist Sam Glanzman’s got an even more legendary historical grounding, having been professionally drawing for six decades or so. These two worthies have collaborated on Lansdale’s graphic novel, RED RANGE. The first page of RED RANGE itself begins full tilt with graphic ultraviolence as Lansdale and Glanzman plunge us into a 19th century Klan lynching of a black Texas family. Abruptly in the midst of the atrocity, the Kluxers are interrupted by a mysterious rider who’s a deadly shot with both his pistols and long-range Sharps buffalo rifle. It’s the feared and hated (by the KKK, at least) Red Mask, a tough, lethal, black man who wisely keeps his identity concealed. Writer Lansdale’s unerring ear for exotic period and regional dialog remains constant. His penchant for grim humor appears throughout. His hardcore, hard-nosed sense of social conscience remains intact.

–Edward Bryant, Locus (1999)

Sam Glansman cover to the new edition

Sam Glanzman cover to the new edition

Thankfully, Drew Ford’s It’s Alive is attempting to bring Red Range back into print through the auspices of Kickstarter. This new edition will be in full color (previous was in b&w), have an afterword by the legendary Stephen R. Bissette, and introduction by me. Yes, some 15 years after I finished working and promoting the book, I’m revisiting the striking work.

If you’d like to see Red Range back in print, and really what Lansdale fan wouldn’t, go support the Kickstarter. For a few shekles, you can score a beautiful, new edition of this “lost” Lansdale.

Thank you, Internet

The Internet is many things: a place where I spend a lot of time, a water cooler, a public square, the Wild West, a dystopia.  But what it has been for many of us is the place that spoil us on the movies, books and TV shows that we haven’t yet enjoyed. I have friends that go into lock-down two months before a large property is released so they can enjoy it with out knowing the “twist”. I avoid Twitter when my shows are on. Even with these precautions the twist revealed before someone gets a chance to see/read/listen to. Then we hear cries of “SPOILERS!” and “YOU RUINED IT!”

So it was with some trepidation that all of us approached Star Wars: The Force Awakens. We all looked at the Internet with suspicion, worried that we would be spoiled by a passing comment from a good friend or favourite website. We all heard the story of the guy who saw the movie on opening night and then spoiled it for a line full of movie goers. Turns out that was false, but it summed up what we were all feeling.

But something miraculous happened. The Internet bit its tongue. Spoilers were out there, but they were carefully hidden behind warnings, and did not appear in the mainline of stories. People published spoiler free reviews and discussions. Discussion groups were formed, but carefully hidden from casual eyes. There were even spoiler free guides for parents who wanted to know if they could take their kids to see this movie.  A week and a half passed before I saw something that revealed the BIG SPOILER of the movie.

It’s now two weeks on and the spoilers, while out there, aren’t in your face. It’s as if the Internet came to a mutual agreement to behave well. And it’s refreshing.

So I want to take a minute to thank the whole Internet for their good behaviour. You did good kid. I’m proud of you.

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