Announcing the Contest Winners!!!

we’re in contact with the winners as we speak, coordinating the transfer of vast amounts of loot. here’s a press release written by fellow squid editor D.CHANG:

EVERYBODY ELSE IS A BIG FAT LOSER

Space Squid held its first-ever writing contest, and it was a doozy, with the grand prize winner walking away with a brand new Nintendo Wii and a copy of the new Mushroom Men videogame (mushroommen.com) from Gamecock Media. We’ve published the big winner in this issue, and you can read the others at www.spacesquid.com/contest. Many thanks to everyone who entered – we had a hellish time picking these from the stories we received, and even more trouble picking the grand prize winner.

The winners are:
"The Legend of Shiitake" by Christopher J. Oatis (grand prize)
"The Reply of Margarita Amanita" by Aaron DaMommio
"Roger Works, Man" by Andrew Godsey
"The Fleet Bolete" by F.W. Choi
"Tales From the Suburbs" by Justin Gordon
"Fun Guy" by Derek J. Goodman

The Mensa members among you may have noticed that there’s a fungal theme going on in this issue. The contest, the color cover, the cool mushroom dude on the cover… it’s all thanks to the generosity of Gamecock and the unvarnished greed of your faithful editors. (Paper is pricey. Think about it the next time you’re wiping your butt.)

Seriously, the Mushroom Men games look stylish and (shock!) original. Check ’em out. We’d also like to give props to RevolutionSF.com, our publicity partners, and Red Fly Studio (redflystudio.com), the Mushroom Men developers.

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the Space Squid backlog

Well, SPACE SQUID is just days away from our most complex and involved issue yet. I’ve looked at my personal schedule for the next week and I just realized that I haven’t booked time for actual sleep.

What this means is, certain things have fallen to the wayside, and one of those things is the spectacular SPACE SQUID slushpile backlog.

If you haven’t heard back from me for a while, that’s why. And if you are one of those people who has a story "held" and it’s way past the hold time I requested, that’s why.

Just to give you a glimpse into the backstage workings of SPACE SQUID, if I ask to put a hold on a story it’s because I think the story is totally awesome and I need some time to convince the other two editors that I’m right.

But I plan to dive into all those unopened emails in the next couple of weeks, so it’ll just hold in there! I swear I haven’t forgotten about you.

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Podcast tragedies

Just as soon as I build my life around my little media player, things start to break.

The first problem, which has actually been sneaking up on me, has been the increasingly poor sound quality coming out of the player’s headphones. Most of the time I only had one earbud working, and even then it was pretty quiet.

So the first thing I did was put some carb-cleaner on a swab and try and clean out the audio jack. ‘Cause as my old man always said, life’s a lot easier if you have a good solvent.

As is clearly evident, the solvent got out a lot of gook:

But it had little effect on the sound quality.

So I cracked open the player and discovered that nearly all of the solder points that held the jack onto the circuit board had come loose.

A little application of solder and a hot iron, and now the MP3 player is incredibly loud.

Whatever breakage is preventing the FM receiver function from working wasn’t visible.

The next thing to break was Juice, my podcast receiver. The damn program stopped in the middle of download and then refused to startup again, even after repeated uninstalling, re-installing, and deletions. This was upsetting because I had about 70 podcasts that I was downloading on a daily basis, and they were all lost.

The open-source program Doppler Radio (beta version) proved so incredibly slow as to be unworkable. So now I’m back to jPodder, which I had tried before and abandoned, but I can’t remember why.

But at least I’m not using iTunes. What sort of an idiot uses that giant wad of spyware?

So I’m busy rebuilding my RSS empire.

One podcast I haven’t mentioned before is "The Skeptics Guide to the Universe." This is the weekly podcast from the New England Skeptical Society, essentially the Amazing Randi crowd, people who spend all their time telling people that their unproven beliefs are actually unproven beliefs. Because the hosts are working scientists, the show amounts to very intelligent people systematically brutalizing the rational fallacies of the ignorant and gullible. Listening to it, one has the same sick fascination one has while watching a jock beat up a nerd. Only in reverse.

My favorite part of the show is the science news quiz, where the co-hosts have to guess what news headline is an actual scientific discovery, and what is made-up. I have yet to get this right. The moral of the exercise is probably the difficulty in differentiating between verifiable truth and total hogwash. Or something.

There’s a series of short stories associated with the inestimable Mike Wallace, the Parsec-Award-Winning author, called Variant Frequencies(RSS). I can’t get the Variant Frequencies feed to work with jPodder, so I may have to do without for a while. This is a podcast that does well with the "tempo" function of my media player. I can speed up the pace of the audio so that it matches what would be my normal reading speed. It’s like having a pressure-hose of fiction feeding into your ear.

Matt Wallace is the brains behind the Failed City Monologues, a brilliant interpretation of the podcast novel medium. He also wrote the Latchkeepers series on the Stranger Things podcast video series. And it looks like he’s responsible for the Deck Gibson Farreach Commander series on Decoder Ring theater(RSS), which happens to be the neatest re-interpretation of classic radio space opera that I have ever heard. And it doesn’t make fun of the genre as does SVT’s Intergalactic Nemesis (sorry Jessica, that’s just the way I feel).

I learned about Matt Wallace, this genius of speculative fiction, through the Adventures in Sci-Fi Publishing podcast. This is typically an hour-long show, or longer, with long, unedited phone interviews. Previously I had decided that nothing in the world was harder to listen to than unedited hour-long phone interviews, but then I discovered the "tempo" function, and the kicked-up speed makes it actually fun.

Adventures in Sci-Fi Publishing has interviewed genre stalwarts such as Neil Gaiman and Patrice Sarath. In a recent episode on the Clarion workshop there was an interesting moment where Mary Anne Mohanraj discussed the Turkey City Lexicon, going so far as to quote large parts of it, refer to it by name, and say that it came out of a writing group, but she did not actually know which writing group put it together.

And then there’s Starship Sofa, a podcast that’s sometimes short fiction readings, sometimes roundtable forums discussing the short fiction, and sometimes it’s the host, a Scottish man, driving in his car and talking about his job as a water-quality administrator. Apparently you shouldn’t drink the water in Scotland because of all the "sheep dip."

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Food Frakker: Impressing the German

With my German friend in town, I of course did what I could to show her the funner side of culinary Austin. She’s already experienced Tex-Mex and BBQ on previous visits, so we delved a little deeper into the regional repertoire.

Our first stop was the mall food court and the counter that only serves potato-centric food.

Is there anything that better represents the American zeal for speculative franchises than this high-concept eatery? I mean, they got me to pay seven bucks for a potato deep-fried in quarters. The German went with a more conservative choice, a BLT with fresh-fried bacon.

At Pepe’s Fruitcup (I have yet to actually order a fruitcup from them), we got a pair of tortas. For me, it was the Hawallan torta, which contains jamon, tocino (remember that word?), pineapple, and deliciously slimy wedges of avocado.

For the German was a more conservative torta that was essentially just a ham sandwich.

The peak of our food experience came at Coco’s Cafe (@Guadalupe&MLK).


The German had never heard of bubble tea, which frankly I find appalling. If you have not had bubble tea, AKA tapioca pearl tea, you need to run out and get it now. But I’m going to assume that you’re so cool that I don’t need to go over it now.

For an appetizer we had the rice ball.

The outside is a gummy rice dough, kept sticky and moist with a warm sweet and sour broth. Inside is pork, beans, and diced mushrooms. The rice ball had an aftertaste flavor, from what I can only presume was fish sauce, that tasted remarkably like unwashed genitals and rotting kitchen garbage. The more of the fishball I ate, the more aware of the taste I became.

Although there is a great deal of the Coco’s menu that I haven’t yet experienced, I ordered what I always order, what has to be my single favorite food in the world. Baconpork.

The cubes of uncured pork-stomach are delicately stewed, to the point of chopstick-cutting delicacy. Every strand of meat, every wad of boiled skin, and every blob of fat dissolves in my mouth like pig-flavored butter.

On days that I forget to eat breakfast and lunch, I start to fantasize about the baconpork plate, about the rich, fatty goodness.

I mean it has to be pretty good if I order it repeatedly when the menu also offers eel-steak (which is good, but not baconpork good).

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One Laptop per Child, or the childish

I’ve got this friend visiting, and she invested in one of those $100 laptops (actually $400) for impoverished thirdworld children, getting a free sample in return.

It’s the first time I’ve seen one of these.


The OX laptop seen here has got pretty much everything I would need in a computer. Capable of web browsing, word processing, multi-media recording, and classic Doom, it’s the bare-bone functions of a laptop in a simple Fisher-Price-looking rugged container.

I would get one myself but for two problems: One, each keyboard key is about half the width of my short, stumpy fingers. Two, the keyboard has a problem with jamming.

Here’s my friend as she disassembles her One Laptop Per Child, using the extensive online wiki and my tool roll. Note that to get to the keyboard, one needs to spend a half hour taking apart the whole damn computer.

Here is my greatest invention, the beyboard, in action, flawlessly tracking the wealth of subtly different-sized screws.

And here is the fix, a thin strip of electrical tape placed as a spacer between the control key terminals.

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The contest is over. Thanks y’all.

The qualifying entries are now in the hands of the Gamecock media judges. Very soon we will know who will take home the Wii, and who will be kicking themselves for not writing twenty different stories about the facinating world of the MUSHROOM MEN!

So as we wait with baited breath, let us give some technorati loving to everyone who let their friends know about this opportunity.

SPACE SQUID would like to thank the following websites, blogs, and anonymous posters:

Biology in Science Fiction,
Gamers Daily News,
Gaming bits,
MCV,
Mike Brotherton,
Gaming Angels,
Aeropause,
The edge,
Gamers Hell,
Go Nintendo,
Red Fly Studio,
Wii Galaxy,
Nintendo Centrum,
The Poisoned Apple (Catherine J. Gardner),
Southern Weirdo,
Boxxet,
RevSF (here!),
NWSF,
The 10k,
Wii HD,
DESTRUCTOID!,
Gamer Girls (from now on I’m going to check this site every day),
Game Pad,
Gamers News Bits,
GamezPlay,
Game Grep,
Yet Another Review Site,
The Official Wii Mii Community,
Console Digest,
DRBAMBURG,
Nintendo Wii News,
Wanderings (Keith P. Graham),
Analog SF (fotsgreg).

You guys all rock.

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Closing the Contest at Midnight

Because I said that the contest ends on August 1st, I’m going to just say that’s an inclusive time period instead of exclusive. So from this moment, you have essentially 13 hours to slip in an entry.

And then the doors close and the serious-looking security guards stand in front of the vault while the judges determine the final result.

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the difference between a good cake decorator and…

a great one, is the attention to detail.


For instance, knowing the correct sequence of a rainbow. These are nonpareils, used as cupcake sprinkles.

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Last Week of the Mushroom Men win a Wii contest!!

I don’t want to give anything away, but right now you have a better chance of winning your own game console by entering the Space Squid Mushroom Men Ficion Contest, than you would by clicking on the links in all those SPAM emails that say you won a Wii.

The odds are better by an order of magnitude at least.

Over here at Space Squid headquarters we’re running around trying to get everything together at the last minute. Just the other night I finished drawing the editors portrait for the inside cover.

For those two of you who might have actually noticed, every issue of Space Squid so far had an illustration depicting the editorial staff in our squid guise (much like Vishnu is also a boar or a turtle, so too are the Space Squid editors also squids).

This issue I thought I would diverge from the tradition and try for something more topical.

I would like to apologize in advance for this extremely offensive image that clearly depicts squids with too few tentacles.

It just sends the wrong message to our children. I promise to be more sensitive to this issue in the future.

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Purple Martins Swarm Highland Mall

My daily bicycle commute takes me through the parking lot of Highland Mall, a shopping opportunity that has seen better days. One sign of the decline is the swarm of birds near the entrance to the parking lot.

At sunset today, I went to watch the thousands of birds circle in to land at their sleeping roost, and I captured this video.

In this closer video you clearly hear the swarm chirping and flapping wings.

In this enhanced night-shot, you can get an impression of how tightly the birds pack the trees.

All the little white spots are bird eyeballs.

I was certainly not the only gawker. It’s not as popular as the bats, but the swarm attracted about a dozen cars, all slewed haphazardly across white lines in the expansively empty parking lot, while in the distance, teenagers whooped and hollered near the mall entrance.

Old ladies and birding enthusiasts came over to where I sat with my tripod to see what I was doing. I asked the first one if the birds were swallows and she looked kinda shocked, as if I couldn’t remember the name of the president. She politely told me that the birds were purple martins. Which, she added, were also swallows.

You might be familiar with purple martins through the giant, multi-storied bird houses on poles that people build for them, which are invariably colonized by sparrows.

All afternoon I had been working on tricking out my digital camera so it would have longer battery life. What I did to it was too brutal, too ugly to qualify as modding.

Basically I drilled holes through the case and soldered wires directly to the battery leads. I realize that there is a power-supply plug for this camera, but I was in a hurry and I didn’t have anything that would fit the tiny little hole.

That poor camera is beginning to look as shot-out as my bicycle.

But longer battery life made it possible to shoot a time-lapse video of the purple martin swarm settling in for the night. None of which you can really see at youtube resolutions. Ask me to show it to you the next time you see me with my tablet PC.

The downside of this amazing spectacle of nature, which butts up against our culture’s greatest institution of consumerism, is all the poop.

I got tagged twice just taking this picture.

The first time it rained this summer the field of bird poop curdled and took on the odor of a wet dog. A dead wet dog. You can smell it for three blocks in every direction.

But that’s just part of the wonder of nature.

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