I am a winner! I think.

This is the second year in which I competed in the Grilled Cheese Invitational. Last year I entered in all three categories (which was a horrible mistake), and I won third place in the "honey pot" category.

This year I only entered in the "honey pot" dessert category, revamping my winning entry from the year before. Basically, I had so many obligations for that night (that was the night of the zombie simulation) that I could only commit for the fifteen minutes it took to process the 20 sample sandwiches of my "tiramisu surprise."

I won in the "spaz" category. Here’s what they have to say about the "spaz."

"What is a Spaz? You tell us! Essentially, the Spaz sandwich is the sandwich with the biggest Weird Factor. It could be a sandwich so lacking in style it’s a style in itself. Or it could be a sandwich high on concept, but lower than dirt on taste. Or maybe a sandwich clearly designed simply to annoy. It’s hard to define that elusive "Spaz" quality, but you’ll know it when you see it. Which one of the sammiches totally deserves that title? When you look at a sammich, does it scream SPAZ!? Award it here!"

So am I a winner? Hard to say. I’m pretty sure I annoyed them by stretching the "grilled" aspect to its full conceptual limit (and probably a bit further) by deep-frying the sandwich in butter and sugar. But people really enjoyed it. People came to tell me they thought it was the best thing they’ve eaten.

(Although that might be because I exercised my theory that you get a big boost to your ratings by giving the judging public a big portion. The lines are so long at this event that most people only get a couple of samples. If you stand in line for twenty minutes, you’re going to want more than a quarter-cut sandwich.)

I am a winner in the sense that someone spent a lot of time making the trophy a beautiful work of art. At one time it was a high school forensics trophy. Now it is the embodiment of spaz.

About mbey

Matthew is a writer and editor living in Austin, TX.
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