So I was watching this film with a friend of mine. We had acquired it through suspect channels, so we knew almost nothing about it.
It gradually became clear that it was an English language, European production, horror flick called "Dark Floors."
It had the richly-textured production values of something shot on location somewhere East of the iron curtain. There was an autistic child in a wheelchair, and a series of spooky images in a mysteriously abandoned hospital.
I thought I had it figured out as a moody Jacobs-Ladder-esque kinda horror film, where everything turns out to be an internalization of psychological trauma.
And then the monsters attacked.
They had leather jackets.
They were as out of place as hard-core sex in a Julia Roberts movie.
It stuck in my mind. I was sure that there was something about these monsters I was missing, so a month later I described the monsters to my co-worker Johnny Motard. From the description he was able to identify them:
These monsters are the Finnish metal band "Lordi." They are particularly famous for winning the Eurovision song contest and never appearing in public without the makeup.
You can get a good idea of what they’re about by watching their video "Would You Love a Monsterman," a song that I cannot get out of my head any more than I can get out the lyrics of another song of theirs that goes "The Devil is a loser, he’s my bitch."
I cannot say that Lordi is my new favorite band. Lordi is my new favorite anything.
They are more favorite than air. They are more favorite than the unqualified love of a child.
