just tonight i got sent links to the purchase pages for two different anthologies that are publishing my work.
the BEST OF ANDROMEDA SPACEWAYS INFLIGHT MAGAZINE: HORROR reprinted my spoof-horror story "the elves hate you." this was essentially my first sale. about the time i wrote this story (and it’s not going to spoil anything to tell you that it’s about a gang of vampires and a gang of elves that have a rumble in an abandoned sock factory) i had wrote about 1.5 stories a month for about a year. consequently i had about 60 rejections. my ego (which is otherwise quite huge) reeled from the continued bombardment of form-letter humilations. i hated everyone. so i crafted a story to take revenge on all the genres which had devalued my worth as a writer and as a human being.
and the story sold to the first market it went to. i hope that the gods of con programming see fit to give me a lengthy reading slot at apollocon or armadillocon, so i can present the story in its entirety. "the elves hate you" got a partial reading at wiscon a couple years ago and it had the audience rolling in the aisles (comedic pause) both of them.
but if you can’t make it to the currently unscheduled and hypothetical readings, then the only way you can experience what is most likely the funniest story you will ever read with both elves and vampires, then you need to go to the ANDROMEDA SPACEWAYS BEST OFS page and buy this affordable and highly downloadable PDF horror anthology.
the other purchase page is to pre-order the UNDEAD 3: FLESH FEAST anthology. now, where "the elves hate you" was mentioned in the introduction to the ASIM best-of collection and in fact leads off the entire anthology, i have yet to see any material for FLESH FEAST that mentions my story "deadtown taxi." i suppose that it’s hard to describe a story that’s about a zombie cabbie going on a killing spree in a strip club and still do justice to the nuanced stuff and, um, subtleties and shit that’s totally in that story. the story is based on my experiences as a cabbie in madison, wi, except for most of the zombie bits.
shoot, who am i trying to fool? there ain’t no subtlety in "deadtown taxi"! it’s just an excuse for hot zombie-on-zombie-on-lich action and various puns for "live" strip acts.
hey, i’m a simple man with simple needs.
