{"id":85,"date":"2010-07-13T03:14:33","date_gmt":"2010-07-13T03:14:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/07\/13\/helmut-finch-how-to\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:23:54","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:23:54","slug":"helmut-finch-how-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/07\/13\/helmut-finch-how-to\/","title":{"rendered":"Helmut Finch: How To"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A little while ago, I released the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblog_entry.php?e=2118\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"postlink\">Helmut Finch mythos<\/a> into the public domain. This was a response to the frequent call for more Helmut Finch stories that follow anyone hearing the Pseudopod performance of <a href=\"http:\/\/pseudopod.org\/2009\/07\/24\/pseudopod-152-hometown-horrible\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"postlink\">&quot;Hometown Horrible.&quot;<\/a><\/p>\n<p>So the question has arisen, what makes a story a Helmut Finch mythos story, and not just an homage to Lovecraft? (The original story is frequently interpreted as a Lovecraft homage, although that is not entirely correct, Lovecraftian flare is just how I write by default.) <\/p>\n<p>For one thing, a Helmut Finch story could be a fleshing-out of the story synopsis presented in &quot;Hometown Horrible.&quot; So automatically a story about the Candy Dog or the Cornstalk Witch would be a Helmut Finch mythos story.<\/p>\n<p>But if the Helmut Finch story didn&#8217;t start from those ideas, which is a very intriguing prospect, then where does the story come from? Period piece writing and a strong emphasis on the horror of memetic themes is a good start.<\/p>\n<p>But I think the best signifier of a Helmut Finch story would be offhand references to Wisconsin. Now you might be thinking, surely one would have to be a longtime resident of Wisconsin, or at least have visited it once or twice to make cagey references.<\/p>\n<p>Sadly, this is not the case. Wisconsin is the most banal of all states. If you want to give your story a little Wisconsin color, just make a reference to some of the weird town names like Sheboygan or Beloit. Or maybe have your characters drinking a Wisconsin beer like Leinenkugel&#8217;s or Berghoff while eating cheese curds. And if you&#8217;re extra good at research, include some strangely detailed knowledge of dairy pricing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A little while ago, I released the Helmut Finch mythos into the public domain. This was a response to the frequent call for more Helmut Finch stories that follow anyone hearing the Pseudopod performance of &quot;Hometown Horrible.&quot; So the question &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/07\/13\/helmut-finch-how-to\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-85","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Helmut Finch: How To - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/07\/13\/helmut-finch-how-to\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Helmut Finch: How To - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A little while ago, I released the Helmut Finch mythos into the public domain. This was a response to the frequent call for more Helmut Finch stories that follow anyone hearing the Pseudopod performance of &quot;Hometown Horrible.&quot; So the question &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/07\/13\/helmut-finch-how-to\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-07-13T03:14:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-17T05:23:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"mbey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"mbey\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/07\\\/13\\\/helmut-finch-how-to\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/07\\\/13\\\/helmut-finch-how-to\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"mbey\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\"},\"headline\":\"Helmut Finch: How To\",\"datePublished\":\"2010-07-13T03:14:33+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-17T05:23:54+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/07\\\/13\\\/helmut-finch-how-to\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":291,\"commentCount\":0,\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/07\\\/13\\\/helmut-finch-how-to\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/07\\\/13\\\/helmut-finch-how-to\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/07\\\/13\\\/helmut-finch-how-to\\\/\",\"name\":\"Helmut Finch: How To - Zombie Lapdance\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-07-13T03:14:33+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-17T05:23:54+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/07\\\/13\\\/helmut-finch-how-to\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/07\\\/13\\\/helmut-finch-how-to\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/07\\\/13\\\/helmut-finch-how-to\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Helmut Finch: How To\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/\",\"name\":\"Zombie Lapdance\",\"description\":\"Matthew Bey Spills His Guts\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\",\"name\":\"mbey\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"mbey\"},\"description\":\"Matthew is a writer and editor living in Austin, TX. 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