{"id":73,"date":"2010-08-01T23:48:43","date_gmt":"2010-08-01T23:48:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/08\/01\/food-frakking-in-the-midwest\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:23:53","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:23:53","slug":"food-frakking-in-the-midwest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/08\/01\/food-frakking-in-the-midwest\/","title":{"rendered":"Food Frakking in the Midwest"},"content":{"rendered":"

In my recent trip to the Midwest, I explored the ways that the cuisine of Wisconsin and Michigan differed from that of Texas. Mostly, there was depressingly little difference. The convenience stores were exactly identical, offering the same products on the same shelves. Any place that sold beer had a selection that was 80% mass-market beer that anyone would recognize, and 20% local craft brewed beer that looked just like the local craft brewed beer of Austin.<\/p>\n

Here’s an example of the similarities, the "Woven Wheat" store-brand crackers of a grocery in Oshkosh looks exactly like the "Woven Wheat" store-brand crackers of Austin, which in turn look suspiciously like a brand-name cracker that shall remain unidentified.
\n<\/p>\n

However, there were some differences. Wisconsin takes its cheese a little more seriously than Texas.
\n
\nThis grocery cheese section literally stretched all the way into the perspective vanishing point.<\/p>\n

When they want a snack, everyone in Wisconsin eats lumps of cheese and sausage.
\n<\/p>\n

There seemed to be more fish available. These are hand-caught bluegill fillets.
\n<\/p>\n

The smoked bluefins, caught in Lake Michigan and resumably not related to bluefin tuna, had their tales bent beneath them in order to fit inside the shrink wrap.
\n
\nThey tasted a little like kipper snacks, but with a richer and fresher flavor.
\n
\nI ate them with Woven Wheats.<\/p>\n

When I was in college, my beer of choice was Berghoff. But it didn’t seem to have the presence in Madison that I remembered. I only saw a couple of six-packs, and none at all of the "Berghoff Dark" variety that I preferred.
\n
\nI didn’t care for the Prairie Lager, a little too light for me, but the Solstice Wit had a crisp and delicious flavor. Both varieties had the orange-peel aftertaste that I always enjoyed about Berghoff.<\/p>\n

People in Texas have become familiar with Leinenkugals ever since the brand was picked up for distribution by Miller. In Minnesota you can apparently get it in the can.
\n
\nIs it just me, or does it taste a lot different in the can?<\/p>\n

A signature food of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan is the Cornish pasty. Think of it as a large empanada crossed with a pot-pie.
\n
\nThis pasty was filled with beef, potatoes, and rutabaga.
\n
\nHas a more manly, filling food ever been invented?<\/p>\n

They take their sausage seriously in Wisconin. This is a local brand of braunschweiger. Think of it as a working man’s pate.
\n<\/p>\n

No, these aren’t hot dogs, dammit. Look at the label, they’re clearly weiners. Quit calling them hot dogs.
\n
\nEither way, they make a great campground breakfast.
\n<\/p>\n

No, these aren’t hot dog buns, dammit. They’re brat buns. Look at the label, you can only use them for brats!
\n<\/p>\n

Don’t tell my girlfriend, but I’m secretly in love with the Mustard Girl.
\n
\nThe Mustard Girl is all-American and gluten-free, two things that I insist on in a woman.<\/p>\n

There were a few things that I hadn’t known I was missing. Take kringle for instance. What a delicious pastry. We used to eat it all the time. Kringles were brought to people’s houses as gifts the way the American-Indians would bring tobacco, or the way the English would bring tea. Until I saw it at the store, I had no idea there was a kringle-shaped hole in my life.
\n<\/p>\n

Another food that I didn’t know I was missing, cheese-food. Pictured here, beer cheese-food and bacon cheese-food.
\n
\nThere used to be one or two of these in the fridge all the time. It’s the perfect food for spreading on crackers and taking on picnics. I’ve been going to groceries in Texas and looking for this food, not knowing what it was that wasn’t there, but searching for it, for that need. Here’s Jeremiah eating cheese-food.
\n
\nJeremiah and Johnny Motard both agree that cheese-food seems very much like cheese-whiz in a cup.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In my recent trip to the Midwest, I explored the ways that the cuisine of Wisconsin and Michigan differed from that of Texas. Mostly, there was depressingly little difference. The convenience stores were exactly identical, offering the same products on … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-73","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nFood Frakking in the Midwest - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/08\/01\/food-frakking-in-the-midwest\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Food Frakking in the Midwest - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In my recent trip to the Midwest, I explored the ways that the cuisine of Wisconsin and Michigan differed from that of Texas. 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