{"id":54,"date":"2010-09-14T21:39:59","date_gmt":"2010-09-14T21:39:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/14\/food-frakker-north-of-the-border\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:23:52","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:23:52","slug":"food-frakker-north-of-the-border","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/14\/food-frakker-north-of-the-border\/","title":{"rendered":"Food Frakker: North of the Border"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let us be honest with ourselves. There are plenty of weird foods made by and for the pale of skin. This food frakker will address those particularly American or Caucasian things I put in my mouth over the past month.<\/p>\n

This dollar-store cheese spread has the outline of Wisconsin on the back.
\n
\nHowever, it tastes like petrochemicals from Houston.<\/p>\n

As someone who has once been to Mexico and seen Italy on a map, I find the "Mexican Pizza" from Taco Bell deeply offensive.
\n
\nIt tastes exactly like the four ingredients that Taco Bell always uses.<\/p>\n

Last month, at the height of the frenetic efforts to get Space Squid published, I stopped at Wendy’s to eat their "Double Baconator Meal."
\n
\nI downloaded the nutritional PDF and discovered that this meal contained 1670 calories. God bless you, Dave Thomas.<\/p>\n

Sometimes the Highland Mall foodcourt is much better than it has any right to be. Case in point, the sushi counter also has a fish and chips meal. Made with flounder.
\n<\/p>\n

I attended the championship game of Austin’s Alternative Softball League (the less said of SXSW’s domination of Waterloo Records the better). So of course I had a hotdog.
\n
\nI assure you that the Lonestar tallboy in the picture is just to demonstrate scale.<\/p>\n

My friend from Germany brought me a bucket of gummi candies in shapes iconic of the German national soccer team.
\n
\nThe German team colors are black and white. Apparently their taste is banana and licorice. Blech.<\/p>\n

The word on the street is that the Pronto, one of the last independent gas stations in town, has been sold. So I made a point of eating their highly American sandwiches last week: On the left, peanut butter and jelly; on the right, baloney and American cheese.
\n<\/p>\n

Did you know there was a Big Peach softdrink?
\n
\nIf you had your eyes closed, I doubt you could tell the difference from Big Red.<\/p>\n

At work we are gearing up for bread production. So I made some sourdough for the first time in years.
\n
\nSoon these will be available to the general public.<\/p>\n

Guess the flavor of this ice cream sandwich.
\n
\nKey lime. Why isn’t more food key lime flavored?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let us be honest with ourselves. There are plenty of weird foods made by and for the pale of skin. This food frakker will address those particularly American or Caucasian things I put in my mouth over the past month. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-54","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nFood Frakker: North of the Border - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/14\/food-frakker-north-of-the-border\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Food Frakker: North of the Border - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Let us be honest with ourselves. There are plenty of weird foods made by and for the pale of skin. 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