{"id":511,"date":"2008-06-07T05:57:36","date_gmt":"2008-06-07T05:57:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2008\/06\/07\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:24:59","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:24:59","slug":"austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2008\/06\/07\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\/","title":{"rendered":"Austin Hotdog Roundup: Weinerschnitzel"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The sign outside the &quot;Weinerschnitzel&quot; restaurant brags that it is &quot;The World&#8217;s Largest Hotdog Chain.&quot; They&#8217;re certainly large enough to put an outpost all the way out at the ends of the earth on Braker Lane. I was biking and I was hungry, and there was no other sign of civilization in sight, so I stopped in.<\/p>\n<p>For a restaurant that specializes in hotdogs, they have a surprisingly limited selection. But their four methods of preparing a hotdog are effectively doubled by giving the customer the choice of upgrading to all-beef for about fifty cents extra.<\/p>\n<p>I opted for the most extravagant hotdog on the menu: All-beef deluxe.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/1877770095484a1fa77cf49.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nAt first glance it looks like a not-inaccurate facimile of a Chicago dog. There&#8217;s the giant pickle spear and some hefty slices of tomato. But even from that perspective there&#8217;s something wrong. Where&#8217;s the relish? On closer inspection it looks less like a Chicago dog and more like an alien entity mimicking a Chicago dog.<\/p>\n<p>My first bite left me confused. There was such a void of taste that I thought my tongue had gone numb. So I washed out my mouth with Dr.Pepper and tried again. Once again, I completely failed to actually taste anything. The hotdog was dry and mealy. The skin was tough and callused, like the whole thing had been sitting on the bottom of a dry steam tray for days. Even the tomato was woody and the pickle wasn&#8217;t even sour. <\/p>\n<p>The whole thing tasted exactly like biting into a cardboard tube that&#8217;s been stuffed with shredded newspaper.<\/p>\n<p>Now I know how they got to be so big. They cut corners by selling wood-pulp.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 18px;line-height: normal\"><span style=\"color: violet\">Weinerschnitzel: Grade F<\/span><\/span><span style=\"color: darkred\"><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The sign outside the &quot;Weinerschnitzel&quot; restaurant brags that it is &quot;The World&#8217;s Largest Hotdog Chain.&quot; They&#8217;re certainly large enough to put an outpost all the way out at the ends of the earth on Braker Lane. I was biking and &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2008\/06\/07\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-511","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Austin Hotdog Roundup: Weinerschnitzel - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2008\/06\/07\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Austin Hotdog Roundup: Weinerschnitzel - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The sign outside the &quot;Weinerschnitzel&quot; restaurant brags that it is &quot;The World&#8217;s Largest Hotdog Chain.&quot; They&#8217;re certainly large enough to put an outpost all the way out at the ends of the earth on Braker Lane. I was biking and &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2008\/06\/07\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-06-07T05:57:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-17T05:24:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/1877770095484a1fa77cf49.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"mbey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"mbey\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2008\\\/06\\\/07\\\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2008\\\/06\\\/07\\\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"mbey\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\"},\"headline\":\"Austin Hotdog Roundup: Weinerschnitzel\",\"datePublished\":\"2008-06-07T05:57:36+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-17T05:24:59+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2008\\\/06\\\/07\\\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":296,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2008\\\/06\\\/07\\\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/bb\\\/weblogs\\\/upload\\\/5\\\/1877770095484a1fa77cf49.jpg\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2008\\\/06\\\/07\\\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2008\\\/06\\\/07\\\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2008\\\/06\\\/07\\\/austin-hotdog-roundup-weinerschnitzel\\\/\",\"name\":\"Austin Hotdog Roundup: Weinerschnitzel - 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