{"id":50,"date":"2010-09-19T01:21:51","date_gmt":"2010-09-19T01:21:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/19\/food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:23:52","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:23:52","slug":"food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/19\/food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill\/","title":{"rendered":"Food Frakker: How to eat a very small bluegill"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A while ago I openly mused that I should get a fishing license. Julia (my food-frakking deputy) who we have determined does indeed pay attention, subsequently bought me a Texas fishing license and a pole. <\/p>\n<p>My first fishing expedition was this week. I was crossing Lady Bird Lake anyways, so I threw the line in. Results were consistent with the fishing I did as a kid. Most fish ignore attempts to hook them, with the exception of bluegills, which strike the bait the moment it hits the water. And yet, nine times out of ten, the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.tpwd.state.tx.us\/huntwild\/wild\/species\/bgl\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"postlink\">bluegill <\/a>will strip the worm clean off the hook without a single notch on their lip. The tenth time, the fish you catch is so tiny as to make a fillet cut impossible. <\/p>\n<p>Thankfully, my food frakking experience has lent me the skills to eat a fish in its entirety without stooping to cutting a boneless fillet. This food-frakker will show you how to clean, cook, and eat a very small bluegill fish.<\/p>\n<p>This is the fish which had the misfortune to be the food frakker&#8217;s first experiment in wild-caught pan frying. <br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/10677422184c955ba62afc3.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s curious that so many people tell me they would never eat fish out of Lady Bird Lake (the reservoir in the Colorado River that bisects Austin). I wonder if they know that the water coming out of their taps is the same water the fish lives in? Either way, I don&#8217;t see myself not eating fish I&#8217;ve caught. And the eating process begins with a 78-cent de-scaler.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/21104589354c955badaab10.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I was at my friend Peter Gabriel&#8217;s house, and the only knife he had was a ludicrously dull and notched paring knife. But it was sufficient for gutting.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/9971408074c955bb9b44ee.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\n(A curious part of the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.tpwd.state.tx.us\/publications\/annual\/fish\/general_rules\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"postlink\">Texas fishing code <\/a>says that it is a violation to &quot;fail to immediately remove the intestines from tilapia, grass carp, or any other fish listed as harmful&quot;. Which makes one wonder, why is it wrong to kill the fish some other way? You can&#8217;t just stab it, or cut off its head, you have to <span style=\"font-style: italic\">disembowel it<\/span>?)<\/p>\n<p>So the guts are all cleaned out, all the scales have been scraped off, and the fish has been rinsed. Then I cut slanted slashes in each side.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/5317640074c955bcb1e49a.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>At this point I would rub spices into the slashes: sea salt, pepper, ginger, soy sauce, garlic. You know, tasty stuff.<\/p>\n<p>The next step is breading. You can just toss it in rice flour, or you can do the whole three-step dip: flour, egg, then breadcrumbs or batter. Toss the breaded fish on a pre-heated pan with a coating of oil.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/3499987154c955bd56bfdb.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Notice how the slashes separate as it cooks.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/16711551074c955c05d4a1a.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nBecause it&#8217;s that kind of operation, we also threw in the one vegetable we had on hand.<\/p>\n<p>When it&#8217;s cooked through you just pick the flesh off with a fork. <br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/17023892484c955b9d59806.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nThere&#8217;s not much doubt that fish just tastes better when you catch and kill it yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A while ago I openly mused that I should get a fishing license. Julia (my food-frakking deputy) who we have determined does indeed pay attention, subsequently bought me a Texas fishing license and a pole. My first fishing expedition was &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/19\/food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-50","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v15.2.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Food Frakker: How to eat a very small bluegill - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/19\/food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Food Frakker: How to eat a very small bluegill - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A while ago I openly mused that I should get a fishing license. Julia (my food-frakking deputy) who we have determined does indeed pay attention, subsequently bought me a Texas fishing license and a pole. My first fishing expedition was &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/19\/food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-09-19T01:21:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-17T05:23:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/10677422184c955ba62afc3.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"mbey\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\">\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/\",\"name\":\"Zombie Lapdance\",\"description\":\"Matthew Bey Spills His Guts\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/?s={search_term_string}\",\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/19\/food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/10677422184c955ba62afc3.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/19\/food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/19\/food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill\/\",\"name\":\"Food Frakker: How to eat a very small bluegill - Zombie Lapdance\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/19\/food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-09-19T01:21:51+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-17T05:23:52+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/09\/19\/food-frakker-how-to-eat-a-very-small-bluegill\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\",\"name\":\"mbey\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#personlogo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"mbey\"},\"description\":\"Matthew is a writer and editor living in Austin, TX. 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