{"id":346,"date":"2009-04-13T21:06:31","date_gmt":"2009-04-13T21:06:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/04\/13\/turtle-roulette\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:24:09","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:24:09","slug":"turtle-roulette","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/04\/13\/turtle-roulette\/","title":{"rendered":"Turtle Roulette"},"content":{"rendered":"

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned the UT turtle pond<\/a> here before. I know I’ve marked it on the Slacker Map of Austin (a giant PDF)<\/a>. It’s probably my favorite thing about Austin.
\n<\/p>\n

I’d like to take a moment to try and popularize a little game I like to play called "turtle roulette." What you do, is you sit on the edge of the turtle pond with your back to the pond, and the tip of your finger dipped into the water behind you.<\/p>\n

Maybe the turtle that comes to bite your finger is little and cute, or maybe it’s that 30-pound alligator snapper that you almost never see because it’s lying motionless along the bottom. But you can’t look. That’s the roulette part.
\n<\/p>\n

If you’re really unlucky, the turtle that rises to bite your finger will be the nazi turtle.
\n
\nIts jaws are strengthened by bigotry. Why must turtles hate? Can’t they love everyone as much as I love them?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned the UT turtle pond here before. I know I’ve marked it on the Slacker Map of Austin (a giant PDF). It’s probably my favorite thing about Austin. I’d like to take a moment to … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nTurtle Roulette - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/04\/13\/turtle-roulette\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Turtle Roulette - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned the UT turtle pond here before. 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