{"id":336,"date":"2009-05-02T21:45:07","date_gmt":"2009-05-02T21:45:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/05\/02\/food-frakker-adventures-in-mobility\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:24:08","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:24:08","slug":"food-frakker-adventures-in-mobility","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/05\/02\/food-frakker-adventures-in-mobility\/","title":{"rendered":"Food Frakker: Adventures in mobility"},"content":{"rendered":"

(note: for unregistered users, the "shoutbox" is now operational) <\/span><\/p>\n

There I was at the HEB, shopping while hungry, when I realized that I’d been holding this fillet of salmon and gently stroking its tender red flesh through the cling wrap for quite some time. So I figured I’d committed to a purchase. After fried in olive oil with a crust of salt, I then baked it onto English muffin halves with cheese and tomato.
\n
\nYeah, I know. I didn’t have any fresh basil handy.<\/p>\n

Ethnic snacks are a staple of my diet. Here’s a Korean corn-puff snack with an insulting caricature of an Indian. Man, those Koreans are so racist, I just hate <\/span>them.
\n
\nThe corn puff things in back taste vaguely like crab. And grease.<\/p>\n

I realized this week that it’s been a long time since I’ve had mochi.
\n
\nMost of you don’t know that mochi was a dough-covered ball of ice cream before it was the deadly lizard-penguin Mocchi<\/a> from Monster Rancher.
\n<\/p>\n

There’s a convenience store near 14th and Cedar<\/a> that sells gizzards in one dollar increments.
\n
\nNot as big and fleshy as previously frakked gizzards, but they’re not as chewy either. The Budweiser Clamato tasted more like tomato and Bud than like clam. Go figure.<\/p>\n

A convenience store in Elgin sold me this pickled egg from the big jar next to the register.
\n
\nYou will notice that it was packaged in a paper bag identical to the brown paper bag that tastefully concealed my Clamato.<\/p>\n

Pau Bhaji from those Indian MREs tastes like a cross between veggie chili and veggie sloppy joes.
\n
\nBut in a good way.<\/p>\n

My frakking deputy and I visited Lucky J’s<\/a>, a food cart which is essentially the only way to get fried chicken and waffles in this town.
\n
\nI did not literally take my camera on the trip, but after eating the chicken and waffles, I felt that I had no choice but to blog about this singular food combo. <\/p>\n

So I drew a picture.
\n
\nI was pretty skeptical about chicken and waffles. It sounds like a stupid IHOP promotion. <\/p>\n

But after loading up my fork with a bite of spicy and crunchy chicken, and a bite of sweet and spongy waffle, I can only say . . . it . . . is . . . damn . . . good.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(note: for unregistered users, the "shoutbox" is now operational) There I was at the HEB, shopping while hungry, when I realized that I’d been holding this fillet of salmon and gently stroking its tender red flesh through the cling wrap … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nFood Frakker: Adventures in mobility - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/05\/02\/food-frakker-adventures-in-mobility\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Food Frakker: Adventures in mobility - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"(note: for unregistered users, the "shoutbox" is now operational) There I was at the HEB, shopping while hungry, when I realized that I’d been holding this fillet of salmon and gently stroking its tender red flesh through the cling wrap … Continue reading →\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/05\/02\/food-frakker-adventures-in-mobility\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-05-02T21:45:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-17T05:24:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/129435197249fcb4189e967.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"mbey\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\">\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/\",\"name\":\"Zombie Lapdance\",\"description\":\"Matthew Bey Spills His Guts\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/?s={search_term_string}\",\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/05\/02\/food-frakker-adventures-in-mobility\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/129435197249fcb4189e967.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/05\/02\/food-frakker-adventures-in-mobility\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/05\/02\/food-frakker-adventures-in-mobility\/\",\"name\":\"Food Frakker: Adventures in mobility - Zombie Lapdance\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/05\/02\/food-frakker-adventures-in-mobility\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-05-02T21:45:07+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-17T05:24:08+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/05\/02\/food-frakker-adventures-in-mobility\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\",\"name\":\"mbey\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#personlogo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"mbey\"},\"description\":\"Matthew is a writer and editor living in Austin, TX. 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