{"id":245,"date":"2009-10-01T20:35:54","date_gmt":"2009-10-01T20:35:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/01\/the-austin-zoo\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:24:03","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:24:03","slug":"the-austin-zoo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/01\/the-austin-zoo\/","title":{"rendered":"The Austin Zoo"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s not strictly accurate to say that Austin has a zoo. There is however a place in Austin with the name Austin Zoo<\/a>. It’s located to the southwest of town, where the suburbs meet the rolling hills and cedar scrubland of the hill country. <\/p>\n

It’s not a huge zoo, and it identifies itself as an animal rescue center, so most of the animals are recycled. Take for instance this capuchin which had previously endured the sorts of psychology experiments that are so inhumane they won’t even conduct them on undergrads.
\n
\nMonkeys are so cute when they’re insane!<\/p>\n

My boss hates the Austin Zoo because she thinks they’re too picky about what animals they rescue, limiting themselves to zoo-quality animals instead of filling up their enclosures with possums.<\/p>\n

Yes, my boss is quite insane. You rescue possums by leaving them outside where the coyotes can get them.<\/p>\n

The zoo hasn’t put a lot of money into the enclosures. Mostly the enclosures are just fences circling some animals and a patch of Texas dirt. Like this lion enclosure that is made from chain link fence.
\n
\nI’m not comfortable being separated from a giant predator by an object that I myself can both climb over and cut through.<\/p>\n

If you do go to the Austin Zoo, you should add a buck to the modest ticket price and buy the animal feed. The highlight of the zoo (other than the two bobcats in a hammock) was the petting enclosure. I fed the geese (which repeatedly bit me) and the ugliest goat I’ve ever seen.
\n
\nThere was also an alpaca, which had this amazing prehensile cleft upper lip.
\n
\nIt’s impossible to describe what it feels like to have an alpaca caress your hand with its warm, fuzzy mouth.<\/p>\n

After going to the zoo, I recommend stopping by Mighty Fine Burgers and getting your hands washed in their powered handwashing machine.
\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s not strictly accurate to say that Austin has a zoo. There is however a place in Austin with the name Austin Zoo. It’s located to the southwest of town, where the suburbs meet the rolling hills and cedar scrubland … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Austin Zoo - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/01\/the-austin-zoo\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Austin Zoo - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It’s not strictly accurate to say that Austin has a zoo. There is however a place in Austin with the name Austin Zoo. It’s located to the southwest of town, where the suburbs meet the rolling hills and cedar scrubland … Continue reading →\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/01\/the-austin-zoo\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-10-01T20:35:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-17T05:24:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/3404605734ac50c8060ae4.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"mbey\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\">\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/\",\"name\":\"Zombie Lapdance\",\"description\":\"Matthew Bey Spills His Guts\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/?s={search_term_string}\",\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/01\/the-austin-zoo\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/3404605734ac50c8060ae4.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/01\/the-austin-zoo\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/01\/the-austin-zoo\/\",\"name\":\"The Austin Zoo - Zombie Lapdance\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/01\/the-austin-zoo\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-10-01T20:35:54+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-17T05:24:03+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/01\/the-austin-zoo\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\",\"name\":\"mbey\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#personlogo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"mbey\"},\"description\":\"Matthew is a writer and editor living in Austin, TX. He's also the founder of digital marketing agency Froglet.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/lastcastpodcast.com\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/245","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=245"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/245\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":891,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/245\/revisions\/891"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=245"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=245"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=245"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}