{"id":242,"date":"2009-10-05T21:54:41","date_gmt":"2009-10-05T21:54:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/05\/food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:24:03","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:24:03","slug":"food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/05\/food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff\/","title":{"rendered":"Food Frakker: The end of Cold Stuff"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The weather has returned to what most people would consider reasonable temperatures. No longer will I need to ingest large amounts of chilled food and beverage to normalize my core body temperature. So for the last time, I present to you, cold stuff.<\/p>\n<p>We will start with the gelatin-in-a-cup category. This creme parfait tastes like cubes of jello suspended in whipped cream.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/5880901554aca63bdc57b3.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nThis rompope came from a late-night taco cart. The proprietors poured eggnog-flavored jello mix into a coffee cup and let it set.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/10834634024aca638ee1b04.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>On a whim, in order to beef out a credit card purchase at the corner convenience store,  I bought a jug of strawberry flavored horchata mix.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/3431886044aca638065cd0.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nI&#8217;m reasonably certain that the same jug had been sitting on that shelf when I moved into the neighborhood last year. It tastes like pink-tinted petroleum distillate.(and I&#8217;m drinking some right now as I write this)<\/p>\n<p>Here&#8217;s another disgusting beverage. I had a bunch of leftover chocolate chip cookies, and I thought to myself, &quot;If I blended this with icecubes, I would combine the cool refreshing texture of an iced smoothie with the chocolaty goodness of a chocolate chip cookie.&quot;<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/10258062174aca63963feb2.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nIn practice it was simply a sickening sludge.<\/p>\n<p>This rice-pudding popsicle had visible hunks of rice and raisins.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/7132486144aca636a77493.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>To complete the full flavor cycle of Mexican sack icecream, I present to you the strawberry bolis (or <span style=\"font-style: italic\">bolis fresa<\/span>).<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/14481364954aca636472ed8.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>A buddy of mine discovered that he could make his own sparkling mineral water by pressurizing tap water with industrial-sized CO2 tanks.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/14716296324aca63b316da8.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nIt&#8217;s cool, refreshing, and far far cheaper than buying Topo Chico.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/19728411154aca639f7834b.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>As promised, I returned to Pepe&#8217;s Fruit cup stand for more frozen treats. It&#8217;s a difficult place for a non-Spanish speaker to navigate because of all the slang terminology in the signs and on the menu. Here we see Julia eating something that was identified as &quot;lala.&quot; <br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/4205781474aca6370de3ca.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nIt seemed to be a strawberry malt with large hunks of fresh strawberries.<\/p>\n<p>This is also from Pepe&#8217;s. It may be called &quot;the Mona.&quot;  It is a sundae, half of which is fruit.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/18814299924aca63777e1d5.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nThe wafer cookies are also a nice touch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The weather has returned to what most people would consider reasonable temperatures. No longer will I need to ingest large amounts of chilled food and beverage to normalize my core body temperature. So for the last time, I present to &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/05\/food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v15.2.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Food Frakker: The end of Cold Stuff - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/05\/food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Food Frakker: The end of Cold Stuff - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The weather has returned to what most people would consider reasonable temperatures. No longer will I need to ingest large amounts of chilled food and beverage to normalize my core body temperature. So for the last time, I present to &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/05\/food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-10-05T21:54:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-17T05:24:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/5880901554aca63bdc57b3.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"mbey\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\">\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/\",\"name\":\"Zombie Lapdance\",\"description\":\"Matthew Bey Spills His Guts\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/?s={search_term_string}\",\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/05\/food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/5880901554aca63bdc57b3.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/05\/food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/05\/food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff\/\",\"name\":\"Food Frakker: The end of Cold Stuff - Zombie Lapdance\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/05\/food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-10-05T21:54:41+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-17T05:24:03+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/10\/05\/food-frakker-the-end-of-cold-stuff\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\",\"name\":\"mbey\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#personlogo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"mbey\"},\"description\":\"Matthew is a writer and editor living in Austin, TX. 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