{"id":194,"date":"2009-12-27T22:27:09","date_gmt":"2009-12-27T22:27:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/12\/27\/you-like-tentacles-don_t-you\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:24:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:24:00","slug":"you-like-tentacles-don_t-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/12\/27\/you-like-tentacles-don_t-you\/","title":{"rendered":"You like tentacles don_t you?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Every now and then, someone comes along with a theme for an anthology that&#8217;s nothing shy of brilliant. That&#8217;s what&#8217;s happened with the new anthology from SamsDot Publishing called<span style=\"font-weight: bold\"> <a href=\"http:\/\/tentaclepower.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"postlink\">The Book of Tentacles<\/a>.<\/span> <br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/20874458874b37d9e124e55.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nI&#8217;m fortunate enough to have the opening story in this anthology. Well, technically, <a href=\"http:\/\/camillealexa.wordpress.com\/2009\/12\/23\/fantasy-magazine-favorites-and-and-the-power-of-tentacles\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"postlink\">Camille Alexa<\/a> has the first thing in the anthology, but it&#8217;s a poem, so I don&#8217;t think that really counts.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/18531102034b37d9e7c8bc3.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nMy story is &quot;Call of the Bailiff,&quot; which is one of those sardonic Cthulhu stories that you seem to see everywhere.<\/p>\n<p>Have you ever seen the movie, &quot;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0277027\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"postlink\">I am Sam<\/a>&quot;? For your sake I honestly hope you haven&#8217;t. It&#8217;s one of those films where an established actor plays a retard in the hopes of getting an Oscar. Unfortunately, Sean Penn went full-retard in &quot;I am Sam&quot; and only got a pity-nomination for his role. Sean Penn&#8217;s character is a retard who fights the courts in order to retain custody of his non-retard daughter. The point of the film being, that it doesn&#8217;t matter how retarded you are, your love makes up for all that retardation.<\/p>\n<p>This is a deeply retarded film.<\/p>\n<p>I was so angry at the schmaltzy sentimentality of &quot;I am Sam&quot; that I thought, why not take out the retard, and put in a character that&#8217;s even less competent to raise a child? Initially the story was going to be about Satan fighting the legal system to retain custody of his daughter, but nobody believes in Satan anymore, so I made it Cthulhu. <\/p>\n<p>I also highly recommend that you check out the website for the <span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Book of Tentacles<\/span> anthology, <a href=\"http:\/\/tentaclepower.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"postlink\">TentaclePower<\/a>. It&#8217;s not just a website, it&#8217;s a full-on multi-media tentacle extravaganza. I even supplied them with some of <a href=\"http:\/\/tentaclepower.com\/f_art.php\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"postlink\">my tentacle art<\/a> for the art page.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, we all like the tentacles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Every now and then, someone comes along with a theme for an anthology that&#8217;s nothing shy of brilliant. That&#8217;s what&#8217;s happened with the new anthology from SamsDot Publishing called The Book of Tentacles. I&#8217;m fortunate enough to have the opening &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/12\/27\/you-like-tentacles-don_t-you\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v15.2.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>You like tentacles don_t you? - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/12\/27\/you-like-tentacles-don_t-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"You like tentacles don_t you? - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Every now and then, someone comes along with a theme for an anthology that&#8217;s nothing shy of brilliant. That&#8217;s what&#8217;s happened with the new anthology from SamsDot Publishing called The Book of Tentacles. I&#8217;m fortunate enough to have the opening &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/12\/27\/you-like-tentacles-don_t-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-12-27T22:27:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-17T05:24:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/20874458874b37d9e124e55.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"mbey\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\">\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\">\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/\",\"name\":\"Zombie Lapdance\",\"description\":\"Matthew Bey Spills His Guts\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/?s={search_term_string}\",\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/12\/27\/you-like-tentacles-don_t-you\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/20874458874b37d9e124e55.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/12\/27\/you-like-tentacles-don_t-you\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/12\/27\/you-like-tentacles-don_t-you\/\",\"name\":\"You like tentacles don_t you? - Zombie Lapdance\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/12\/27\/you-like-tentacles-don_t-you\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2009-12-27T22:27:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-17T05:24:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2009\/12\/27\/you-like-tentacles-don_t-you\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\",\"name\":\"mbey\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#personlogo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"mbey\"},\"description\":\"Matthew is a writer and editor living in Austin, TX. 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