{"id":18,"date":"2010-12-24T17:39:53","date_gmt":"2010-12-24T17:39:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/"},"modified":"2012-08-17T05:23:50","modified_gmt":"2012-08-17T05:23:50","slug":"food-frakking-for-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"Food Frakking for Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This week I cooked some of the compulsory ethnic food of my people. This years batch of lefse was the best I ever made. It formed into a clean ball of dough.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nIt cooked on the pan without getting stiff.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/5076022344d14d6ea284ad.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nAnd the final product had a supple and flexible texture.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/7345360354d14d892691db.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nAnd I couldn&#8217;t tell you why this batch was better, because I did several things different. I think it was either the cast iron frying pan (which I had bought for making tortillas) or the shortening that I substituted for the cream. Using trans fats always gives baked goods that professional touch.<\/p>\n<p>When one has a lot of lefse on hand, it&#8217;s hard not to create the cultural bastardization of a Norwegian breakfast taco.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/12791178804d14d6d9eccaa.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The krumkaka iron made its yearly foray out of the closet.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/117826614d14d70259b26.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nI forced my food-frakking deputy Julia to run to the Walmart and buy some whipped cream.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/16245973094d14d6f75672a.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nA Christmas without whipped cream-filled krumkaka would be unthinkable.<\/p>\n<p>The spritz cookie press also made an appearance.<br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/5548756264d14d6fd15604.jpg\" border=\"0\" \/><br \/>\nI colored the dough with both yellow and blue food colorings before I noticed that the set actually had a green color. I hope that wasn&#8217;t the tipping point of artificial additives that cause cancer. But I guess it&#8217;s worth the risk.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week I cooked some of the compulsory ethnic food of my people. This years batch of lefse was the best I ever made. It formed into a clean ball of dough. It cooked on the pan without getting stiff. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Food Frakking for Christmas - Zombie Lapdance<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Food Frakking for Christmas - Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This week I cooked some of the compulsory ethnic food of my people. This years batch of lefse was the best I ever made. It formed into a clean ball of dough. It cooked on the pan without getting stiff. &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Zombie Lapdance\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-12-24T17:39:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-17T05:23:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"mbey\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"mbey\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"mbey\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\"},\"headline\":\"Food Frakking for Christmas\",\"datePublished\":\"2010-12-24T17:39:53+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-17T05:23:50+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":218,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/bb\\\/weblogs\\\/upload\\\/5\\\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/\",\"name\":\"Food Frakking for Christmas - Zombie Lapdance\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/bb\\\/weblogs\\\/upload\\\/5\\\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2010-12-24T17:39:53+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-17T05:23:50+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/bb\\\/weblogs\\\/upload\\\/5\\\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/bb\\\/weblogs\\\/upload\\\/5\\\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/2010\\\/12\\\/24\\\/food-frakking-for-christmas\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Food Frakking for Christmas\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/\",\"name\":\"Zombie Lapdance\",\"description\":\"Matthew Bey Spills His Guts\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b\",\"name\":\"mbey\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"mbey\"},\"description\":\"Matthew is a writer and editor living in Austin, TX. He's also the founder of digital marketing agency Froglet.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/lastcastpodcast.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.revolutionsf.com\\\/revblogs\\\/zombielapdance\\\/author\\\/mbey\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Food Frakking for Christmas - Zombie Lapdance","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Food Frakking for Christmas - Zombie Lapdance","og_description":"This week I cooked some of the compulsory ethnic food of my people. This years batch of lefse was the best I ever made. It formed into a clean ball of dough. It cooked on the pan without getting stiff. &hellip; Continue reading &rarr;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/","og_site_name":"Zombie Lapdance","article_published_time":"2010-12-24T17:39:53+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-08-17T05:23:50+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"mbey","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"mbey","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/"},"author":{"name":"mbey","@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b"},"headline":"Food Frakking for Christmas","datePublished":"2010-12-24T17:39:53+00:00","dateModified":"2012-08-17T05:23:50+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/"},"wordCount":218,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg","inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/","url":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/","name":"Food Frakking for Christmas - Zombie Lapdance","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg","datePublished":"2010-12-24T17:39:53+00:00","dateModified":"2012-08-17T05:23:50+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/bb\/weblogs\/upload\/5\/8760637694d14d6f108bfd.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/2010\/12\/24\/food-frakking-for-christmas\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Food Frakking for Christmas"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/","name":"Zombie Lapdance","description":"Matthew Bey Spills His Guts","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/#\/schema\/person\/8d790559a19b5597ebb69b7b744f4c4b","name":"mbey","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/ec0048e5e9430f44d486e786b687ccc04ae355c54158c186e99cf279e584940a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"mbey"},"description":"Matthew is a writer and editor living in Austin, TX. He's also the founder of digital marketing agency Froglet.","sameAs":["https:\/\/lastcastpodcast.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/author\/mbey\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":664,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18\/revisions\/664"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/zombielapdance\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}