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Food Frakking for Christmas

This week I cooked some of the compulsory ethnic food of my people. This years batch of lefse was the best I ever made. It formed into a clean ball of dough.

It cooked on the pan without getting stiff.

And the final product had a supple and flexible texture.

And I couldn’t tell you why this batch was better, because I did several things different. I think it was either the cast iron frying pan (which I had bought for making tortillas) or the shortening that I substituted for the cream. Using trans fats always gives baked goods that professional touch.

When one has a lot of lefse on hand, it’s hard not to create the cultural bastardization of a Norwegian breakfast taco.

The krumkaka iron made its yearly foray out of the closet.

I forced my food-frakking deputy Julia to run to the Walmart and buy some whipped cream.

A Christmas without whipped cream-filled krumkaka would be unthinkable.

The spritz cookie press also made an appearance.

I colored the dough with both yellow and blue food colorings before I noticed that the set actually had a green color. I hope that wasn’t the tipping point of artificial additives that cause cancer. But I guess it’s worth the risk.

mbey: Matthew is a writer and editor living in Austin, TX.
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