My recent sale of the story The Secret of Pogopolis to Beneath Ceaseless Skies qualified me for the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer. Now, it’s clear to anyone with even a cursory familiarity with my work that I don’t deserve to win the Campbell. I didn’t deserve to win the best story of Innsmouth Free Press either, yet through crass self-promotion and your help, I did.
That’s why I’m announcing my campaign to become the least deserving winner of the Campbell in history. To kick off the campaign I would like to share with you some quotes about my work that will drive home just how undeserving I am:
"High on the profanity factor, this story isn’t for everyone. . . Even if you are a pervert."
———-The Fix Online, about Gimpbomb Enters Room
"I’m sorry, I just don’t get it . . . There’s no magic anywhere in sight. . . it came across as an amateurish, slapped-together bit of nonsense."
———-Tangent Online, about Murder at Doty Station
"Nothing in Vampire mythology that I’ve read would ever suggest that they would take on a serious fight without serious reason. . . to have this serious, this intense of a fight, there needed to be a better reason than just a shirt."
———-tbaker2500, about The Elves Hate You
"A lame groin joke never makes a good ending to a story, IMHO."
———-vburn, about Eggs
"This ‘writer’ has clearly never had a real relationship, nor a real conversation. . . Was this seriously the best thing in the slush pile?"
———-Unregistered Guest, about The Secret of Pogopolis
"You smell."
———-Sharyn November, about Matthew Bey in general
I have about three pages of similar quotes up on Matthewbey.com, so go ahead and check them out. There’ll be more info on how to nominate me (and RevolutionSF.com while you’re at it) as it becomes possible to do so. Eligible voters will have memberships to Aussiecon or Renovation, so start working on that.