I have made it a point to avoid going to movies in the theater unless they are Bollywood. Why? Because if I’m going to pay ten bucks to see a movie, there damn well better be three musical numbers.
Prince, was playing down at the local Austin multiplex, and Julia (my food-frakking deputy) and I had the theater virtually to ourselves.
This is simply an awesome movie. As you can tell by the trailer.
Let’s list some of the reasons why this movie is awesome.
1.) In the credit-sequence dance number, the hero is not only dancing on a floating platform shaped like his initials along with a phalanx of chorus girls, he also shouts out "let’s rock this party tonight," which is the most awesome thing anyone can shout ever in any situation.
2.) The hero is an international jewel thief who has wrist-mounted grapple cables and a skin-tight body suit, two things that make it easier to steal things.
3.) While serenading the love of his life, the hero does wheelies on a racing bike, then does wheelies on the bike while the chick is in his lap, all the while singing.
4.) Did I mention that he was doing wheelies on a military airfield?
5.) In his secret lair, the jewel-thief hero has life-size velvet paintings of Batman and Spider-Man, which is an awesome thing to have in your lair because it reminds you of the awesomeness you can aspire to.
6.) Apparently India has a foreign intelligence service that keeps secret underground headquarters in junkyards in South Africa.
7.) Also, India has invented a technique for extracting memories.
8.) Two words that ought to summarize the ultimate of awesomeness: Hang-glider-mounted machineguns.