{"id":32,"date":"2008-04-19T06:20:53","date_gmt":"2008-04-19T06:20:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/warrocketajax\/2008\/04\/19\/anything-goes\/"},"modified":"2015-10-21T12:28:38","modified_gmt":"2015-10-21T20:28:38","slug":"anything-goes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/warrocketajax\/2008\/04\/19\/anything-goes\/","title":{"rendered":"Anything Goes!"},"content":{"rendered":"

[<\/strong>\u00a0\"Evil\" Mood:<\/strong> Evil\u00a0]<\/strong>
\n[<\/strong>\u00a0\"Eating Currently:<\/strong> Eating kooks like Willie Scott for breakfast!\u00a0]<\/strong>
\nIn response to:<\/span><\/p>\n

Sci-Fi: WTF Couples
\n1. Indiana Jones and Willie Scott, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
\nPoor Willie. She will always been seen as the also ran romance of the Indy series. Marion was Indy’s one true love as evidenced by Raiders and the forthcoming Crystal Skull. Willie was just a pit stop.
\nAnd it wasn’t hard for Indy to tell. She wasn’t good in the outdoors. She screamed every time anything happened. Clearly this woman should have been a booty call for Indy, but we were urged to think this would last forever. Probably had something to do with producer Spielberg making the actress who played Willie his one and only seven years after this movie came out.<\/p>\n

I HATE<\/span> Willie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

HATE.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Willie Scott and the wretched movie from which she spawned are proof positive that in 1984, for whatever reason, Spielberg and Lucas were wandering the desert of imagination in search of a creative idea.<\/p>\n

There were plenty of other movies to see in 1984<\/a>, and I saw at least twenty on that linked list. Man, 1984 was a good year for movies.<\/p>\n

Indy sucked more than every one I saw that year, except The Woman In Red<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Gene Wilder, you let me down, man.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The horrible, erroneous gun\/sword joke reference in the prequel<\/a> is proof that Lucas and Co. had started filking with their own material in dangerous ways, long before the E.T.<\/a> walkie-talkie fiasco. Indy meets with two swordsmen, instead of the one in Raiders, which is supposed to happen several years after Temple, yet he grabs for his pistol, and finding the holster empty, gives a knowing, almost 4th-wall-breaking, smile!<\/p>\n

I blame Willie Scott.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Geekdom! I submit to you: we weren’t taking notes! We should have seen Episodes I, II, and III coming at that moment, and we should have initiated prepartions to prevent it!<\/p>\n

The lonely dvd<\/a> sitting in the Indiana Jones Trilogy box, behind Raiders, Crusade, and the extras dvd? I don\u2019t look at it more than your average commuter looks at a traffic accident on the highway. It\u2019s unfortunate that it happened, and it\u2019s taking up space in my life, but I really wish I could just get the hell past it and not have to worry about it bogging down part of my day.<\/p>\n

I blame Willie Scott.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I hear some of you, just a few of you, out there in the aisles with itchy feet and fading smiles, saying \u201cBut what about Short Round? You can\u2018t not like Short Round.\u201d<\/p>\n

Grammatically questionable as that last statement is, those very words have come out of at least one person\u2019s mouth when I dug in my heels about IJATTOD sucking. It\u2019s not a fond memory, as now, whenever the subject is broached, that\u2019s the way I hear the question when anyone mentions Short Round.<\/p>\n

Short Round doesn\u2019t do anything for me<\/a>, but I don\u2019t have time to dig into that can of worms for the proper bait right now. Jonathan Ke Quan was, is, and will always for me be Data from The Goonies<\/a>.
\nThere is no Short Round.<\/a><\/p>\n

Willie Scott<\/a> is the reason there are only three Indiana Jones movies in my mind, my world, and just two in my dvd library.<\/p>\n

Those movies are as follows.<\/p>\n

Raiders<\/a>, which showed me that cool swipe from the Paramount logo in the beginning, then got better from there. Only Coming To America<\/a> made better use of the Paramount logo, and only Boogie Nights<\/a> made better use of Alfred Molina.<\/p>\n

Raiders also proved that John Williams\u2019 best work was not The Imperial March<\/a>. I know, it\u2019s the Star Wars theme to lots and lots of geeks out there, but it pales in comparison to the Indy theme<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The Last Crusade<\/a>, while touted as THE last Indy movie so many years ago (hey, who knew Harrison just needed the right script to get the hat back on?), was also the best of the three so far, for three reasons.<\/p>\n

1. River Pheonix as young Indy<\/a>. I weep every time I watch the opening to the movie, and every time I hear this song<\/a> by Natalie Merchant, that she wrote for him posthumously.<\/p>\n

2. Sean Connery<\/a>! In the words of Stan The Man Lee, \u2018Nuff Said.<\/p>\n

3. Humor! Sure, one might argue a short asian kid who uses telephone books and KISS boots to drive a car, a woman who is scared of the wild and thinks elephants stink, and the poor attempts at slapstick all make for rollicking good fun at the movies. But where Raiders tempered its drama and action with comedy, and Temple added unnecessary song numbers and bad jokes to pad the feather-light story, Last Crusade found a very nice balance between humor and pathos.<\/p>\n

And damn it, the movie makes me cry, OK?! It\u2019s a good estranged father-son fantasy story, wrapped in an action yarn, starring Harrison Ford and Sean Connery!<\/p>\n

“Let it go, Indiana.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Last Crusade just seemed so effortless when weighed against the albatross that is Temple of Doom.<\/p>\n

I blame Willie Scott.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hell, if Wikipedia is to be believed, check out this quote: “After the release of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Steven Spielberg decided to complete the trilogy in order to fulfill his promise to George Lucas, and ‘to apologize for the second one’.”<\/p>\n

Maybe Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is Spielberg’s way of saying, “Let’s make a real trilogy, and in a year or two we’ll mint more money after releasing the NEW dvd box set, sans Temple of Doom! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! Eh…ha?”<\/p>\n

Still, let\u2019s hope Kingdom of the Crystal Skull<\/a> is at least as good as Raiders,.<\/p>\n

Which is to say, pretty filking awesome.<\/p>\n

I want it to be the summer\u2019s blockbuster movie, taking a righteous swing at the biggest moneymakers the past summers have seen and knocking them sideways.<\/p>\n

The movie already has some good things going for it, long, Fiona-Apple-esque<\/a> title aside. OK, it’s more U2esque<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Mr. Shamamalan LaBootay<\/a>, who, even if he blows it in a bunch of art house films while living off his last four paychecks, will still appear in the next Michael Bay FIOS commercial<\/a>, guaranteed.
\nHis LaBoothness plays Mutt, who is potentially Indy\u2019s son by Marion. Or actually is. Whatever, I\u2019m not digging into the spoilers to find out. I\u2019ll learn it all on day one in the theater.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019ll have some pudgy pasty white guy instead of Salah, it appears from the trailer. That\u2019s its first strike in my book. I can just imagine Salah saying, \u201cSo, Indy, you have A SON!\u201d
\n\"\"
\nNot unlike Brian Blessed\u2019s Hawkman exclaiming something exclamatory in Flash Gordon.<\/p>\n

Kingdom touts Nazi-ish villains led by Cate Blanchett! No Indy film is complete without the good ol\u2019 stormtrooperish villainy!<\/p>\n

Indy is being portrayed as Indy, twenty years on. Not Harrison Ford\u2019s likeness pasted digitally onto a young stunt man\u2019s frame, with Harrison providing voice talent to lip-sync the dialogue.<\/p>\n

Come to think of it, that\u2019s probably what Frank Darabont\u2019s script suggested\u2026after all, the man wrote, directed, and allowed to be released this piece of crap<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I don’t blame Willie Scott for The Mist.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, Frank, I am bitter. I’ll need about three more Shawshank Redemptions to put you back on the “trust me” list.<\/p>\n

But Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull wasn\u2019t written by Darabont, Thank Shatner, so it won\u2019t have Short Round, but it will have the wonderful, beautiful, still-hot Karen Allen! Marion returns!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve missed Marion. I\u2019m glad she\u2019s back.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m so very very glad Willie Scott will not be in the new movie<\/a>. For that reason alone it has a better-than-good chance of success.<\/p>\n

Unless it blows like Willie screaming<\/a>. In which case…<\/p>\n

I blame Willie Scott.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I sincerely hope it won’t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[\u00a0 Mood: Evil\u00a0] [\u00a0 Currently: Eating kooks like Willie Scott for breakfast!\u00a0] In response to: Sci-Fi: WTF Couples 1. Indiana Jones and Willie Scott, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Poor Willie. She will always been seen as the also ran romance of the Indy series. Marion was Indy’s \u2026 Continue reading → <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nAnything Goes! - War Rocket Ajax<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/warrocketajax\/2008\/04\/19\/anything-goes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Anything Goes! - War Rocket Ajax\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[\u00a0 Mood: Evil\u00a0] [\u00a0 Currently: Eating kooks like Willie Scott for breakfast!\u00a0] In response to: Sci-Fi: WTF Couples 1. Indiana Jones and Willie Scott, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Poor Willie. She will always been seen as the also ran romance of the Indy series. 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