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Several years ago I had the good fortune to work at Musicland with a manager who conveyed intelligence, care,and good humor to all his employees. In a retail environment, I’ve found that is a rare experience.
I don’t recall now how the following activity began, but to keep the work environment fun, Brad and I would use the cds (in those ancient delivery forms known as "longboxes") to tell stories we’d make up on the fly. It was very much like the storytelling game referenced here. Album titles, artist’s names, song titles, all went into the steely jaws of our wits and emerged the other side as surreal and sometimes inappropriate tales with no point beyond making us laugh as much as possible. They often didn’t flow as smoothly as, say, a cruise liner should, but as long as we kept the story afloat and had fun doing so, that’s what mattered.
It’s that sort of off-the-cuff storytelling that came to mind when I got a recent text message from another good friend and former retail manager who’s now on the coast. Kerry and I have a history of exchanging horrible puns, to the chagrin of anyone in earshot. Now that he’s many hundred miles away, wireless technology helps us bridge the gap.
A recent text from Kerry was simply, "I have this theory that Rod Stewart and Lita Ford are the same person."
Pretty dead-on, in my opinion. Also, the mental image made me howl.
What I’ll share here next is a text exchange we enjoyed, which was not unlike the game Brad and I played at Musicland. Kerry and I did this one sans Wiki searches or cd covers–it all came drooling out from the depths of our collective musical knowledge. It may not be deep, but I hope you find it at least half as fun as we did.
Oh, and not all the links go directly to the song/video they denote (I’m not THAT cruel), and a few you may find fun.
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KC: so I have this theory that video killed the radio star.
LW: Authorities have been hunting high & low for him, while Video remains elusive, in effect taunting them, "take on me."
KC: Video was briefly spotted yelling to an unknown accomplice, "Come on, Eileen!"
LW: Video is believed to have fled the country. A recent report places him in "Rio."
KC: Rio. The city for which the Brazilians claim, "We built this city on rock and roll."
LW: In Brazil, it’s believed Video experimented with drugs. One pill made him larger, the other made him small…
KC: …but the one that Mother gave him, made him feel nothing at all.
LW: Last Christmas I gave Video my heart. The very next day he gave it away.
KC: To which Video replied, "Have you heard about the Lonesome Loser? He’s a loser but he still keeps on trying."
LW: CNN has received a video from Video, sent from his hidden desert cave lair. In the video, Video declares, "Don’t you forget about me."
KC: This just in! A renowned Asian P.I. has been called in to track down Video. Authorities are very appreciative, saying domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.
LW: A close friend of Video has come forward. His statement to the press included this imploring message to Video: "You dont’ have to live like a refugee."
KC: Video quickly responded, "Love is a battlefield."
LW: Authorities have learned Video was humbled after spending One Night in Bangkok.
KC: Update on this week’s story — Video is still at large. It seems that he is No-No-Notorious. Notorious.
LW: Video’s excursion to Bangkok left him feeling itchy and sore. The doctor diagnosed him with a bad case of Tainted Love.
KC: It seems that Video should know better than to party with a werewolf of London. And his hair was perfect! There’s talk of a [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AofzLsvTsM0White Wedding[/url].
LW: Video will go to his wedding night bed Like A Virgin…touched for the very first time.
KC: Suddenly, Video realized that all eyes were on him, and he exclaimed, "I always feel like somebody’s watching me!" And he gets no privacy.
LW: Please please tell me now, Video, is there something I should know?
KC: Message to (me) from Video: Til now, I always got by on my own. I never really cared until I met you.
LW: Breaking news: Video offered deal by prosecutors. His reply: I can’t go for that, no no. No can do.
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If you’ve found humor here, I am glad. And if so, perhaps more txt wrs will find a translation here.
Until next time…
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From this one. I totally dig the music.