Ubalblog

[  Mood: Silly ]
So I have finished Book 1 and am well into Book 2. But that would still be the Fellowship of the Ring, which is apparently two books in one.

What has happened to the magical mystery tour? Well The Hobbits! and Bruce arrive at Rivendell, but not without being attacked by the Ringwraiths. In the ensuing fight, Frodo is injured.

Frodo injury not exactly as pictured.

But he makes it out alive and is taken to Rivendell where the Elves have the top tier HMO. Once Frodo recovers, he gets to attend a top secret council. So secret in fact, that Sam can sneak in and no one cares.

Now, it is best to think of Rivendell as some kind of music summit, where the greatest musicians of our day have gathered to fight the evil of the RIAA, who seeks to reclaim the one ring, and in doing so crush the hopes and dreams of illegal downloaders everywhere. (Not exactly how Tolkein envisioned it, but it makes sense.) It is almost like Live Aid. Among the attendees are:

Elrond

Bilbo

Legolas

Gimili

Boromir

and

Gandalf

Also attending is Gimili’s dad, Glorin

Daddy, in his younger years.

And some chick named Arwin, but I’m sure she’s not important.

You can be my Yoko Ono

So they talk a lot, and tell each other a lot of stories, like musicians are want to do between sets. Eventually, and I mean like at least 50 pages later, they decide to form a tour of 9. This means that the Hobbits, Bruce, Donny, the two Jons, and Johnny will hit the road. Frodo, who is fast becoming the Justin Timberlake of the Hobbits, will be the headliner, responsible for casting the one ring into the fires of Mount Doom. The others have to get him there in one piece.

So it’s a lot like Lilith Faire, without much less estrogen. And no sponsorship by Stayfree.

Not wanted on the tour.

So that’s it for now. I should be back in a few days with another update.