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Don’t Be That Guy

[ Mood: Sleepy ]
[ Currently: Eating Breakfast ]
Edit: Since I wrote this, Wil has posted his own take on this one his own blog. You should read it.

Yesterday, geek fave Wil Wheaton posted a rather horrifying (and in some ways embarassing) story from SDCC on Google+. Rather than mess up the retelling, I am posting it in its entirety below.

Quote:

Wil Wheaton – Yesterday 16:27 (edited Yesterday 16:31) – Public
On the way out of the Syfy party on Saturday night, a pretty horrible thing happened. I wasn’t going to talk about it in public, but I can’t stop thinking about it, and I think this needs to be said.

If you camp out in front of my hotel while I am on location or visiting a city, if you camp out in front of a party I’m attending … basically, if you camp out anywhere so you can shove a stack of 8x10s into my face when I’m trying to enter or leave a location, I’m not going to sign them, and I’m not going to be nice about it.

I refuse to reward or validate that kind of behavior, and I’m done being polite about it.

when we walked out of the SyFy party on Saturday night, a pack of people — probably 12 or 15, I’d guess — appeared out of nowhere, and surrounded me. They shoved pictures into my face, thrust pens at me, and made it so that I couldn’t even move. They separated me from my friends and my son, and, quite frankly, terrified me.

Let’s stop for a second and think about this: in what kind of world is it acceptable to surround a person you do not know, separate them from the people they are with, and essentially trap them? Maybe in crazy entitled psycho world, but not the world I live in.

I tried to scrawl my signature on a couple of things, just so some of those people would move and let me keep on walking, but whenever someone took something away, something new immediately took its place. Somehow, +Felicia Day saved me. She reached through the mob, grabbed my hand, and said, "Sorry, we have to go meet some of our friends," before the literally pulled me away, to safety.

This is when the mob lost its shit. They yelled at me like I had done something wrong. They called me names, and they booed at me. (Seriously). A woman stormed up next to me and said, "If you don’t sign these things for me, I’m going to tell Twitter what an asshole you really are."

I looked her square in the eye, turned on my dad voice, and said, "Really? Are you serious? We’re done here." I quickened my pace, and for the next two blocks she followed us, screaming and ranting and raving about how she’d waited there for hours, driven all the way from someplace far, and that I basically owed her. I eventually tuned her out, and I guess she went back to the Syfy party to harass whoever else came out, next.

The whole thing was really scary, made me feel like a sideshow freak, and made me really, really angry. I was just trying to walk out of a hotel and go meet up with my friends. I didn’t do anything wrong, and I’m not going to apologize for it.

I realize that a person who thinks it’s entirely normal and not psycho to camp out in front of a hotel for hours and hours so they can trap a person isn’t going to understand why I will not validate that behavior, but I need to make this clear for the future: I’m a person. I’m happy to sign things and take pictures with people in appropriate situations, but if some dude violates my personal space or freaks me out, and then gets mad at me when I try to get away from him, I’m not going to do anything beyond telling that person to go fuck himself, and I’m not going to feel bad about it.

Edit, because this is important: I realize that anyone reading this isn’t one of Those Guys. Please don’t think the "you" here refers to, you know, you.

Ouch. Not a flattering portrait of our world, is it? And Wheaton is beyond gracious by pointing out that he knows that in all likelihood the group he was accosted by would not be following him on Google+.

We, as a sub-culture, really need to start dealing with these fans who overstep the boundaries. And we know they are at every con. I can think of two or three right now from my con. They give a bad name to the rest of us, and in many ways, prevent us from getting the media guests we really want to come and talk to us.

And before anyone says, "He’s a celebrity . . ." and then some incredibly lame excuse for why Wheaton (or anyone else in the public eye) should put up with this, he is also a human being. Like you. Yup, in most cases media guests are paid to be available to the fans at cons, but there are times in their schedule to do that. The rest of their time is their own, to do with as they please.

Most of you know, I am a teacher, so I have an idea of what celebrities go through. I have been out with my family or friends, just enjoying myself or trying to be a mother, when a student or parent comes up, excited to see me. Most just want a minute to say hi, and that’s fine. But some cross the boundary. Like the parent who pulled up a chair at my table, during a romantic dinner with my husband, to spend the time she was waiting for her meal telling me about how her daughter had grown so much since she left my class. Or the other mom who interrupted my shopping at a fair-trade bizarre to drag me across the room to see the children I had taught.

My point here is that while you may want that special one on one time with the actor/writer/singer whose work has touched you deeply, there is a time and place for it. Do it then, and give them their space.

And most of us know this. And we respect it. But we have to find a way to deal with those people who don’t. And fast. Cause they are ruining it for the rest of us.

ubalstecha