A particularly unmemorable outing with The Tourist

For the fine folks at Moving Pictures, I reviewed The Tourist.

Quote:
Director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck’s new film, “The Tourist,” his first since the 2006 Oscar winner “The Lives of Others,” stumbles and waffles between a farce of and an homage to the legendary Cary Grant-Alfred Hitchcock collaborations, all while accomplishing nothing particularly well nor memorable.

Quote:
Based on the 2005 French movie “Anthony Zimmer,” the screenplay by von Donnersmarck, Christopher McQuarrie (“Valkyrie”) and Julian Fellowes (“The Young Victoria”) squanders the considerable talents of the top-notch cast with an improbable story and uninspired, derivative action sequences. Furthermore, von Donnersmarck pads the meager tale with extended magnificent panoramas of Venice, seemingly commissioned by the city’s travel bureau.

Quote:
Jolie and Depp provide their usually excellent performances, but the interactions of the two attractive co-stars provide little sizzle. Bettany’s disappointing portrayal of an inept British detective conjures up memories of the bungling French police detective Jacques Clouseau, though of a more subdued and less-interesting variety. Timothy Dalton lends an air of class and sanity as Acheson’s boss. Aping the roles that made him famous — “Octopussy,” “Beverly Hills Cop” and “Rambo: First Blood Part II” — Berkoff brings his trademark intensity to most of his scenes.

I must applaud the editors of Moving Pictures for publishing my very critical review of The Tourist even as they ran an interview with director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck.

Stuff received 12/1/10

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Cronos

Promo copy:

Guillermo del Toro made an auspicious and audacious feature debut with Cronos, a highly unorthodox tale about the seductiveness of the idea of immortality. Kindly antiques dealer Jesús Gris (Federico Luppi) happens upon an ancient golden device in the shape of a scarab, and soon finds himself the possessor and victim of its sinister, addictive powers, as well as the target of a mysterious American named Angel (a delightfully crude and deranged Ron Perlman). Featuring marvelous special makeup effects and the haunting imagery for which del Toro has become world-renowned, Cronos is a dark, visually rich, and emotionally captivating fantasy.

DIRECTOR-APPROVED SPECIAL EDITION:

    New, restored high-definition digital transfer, supervised and approved by director Guillermo del Toro and cinematographer Guillermo Navarro (with DTS-HD Master Audio soundtrack on the Blu-ray edition)

    Optional original Spanish-language voice-over introduction

    Two audio commentaries, one featuring del Toro, the other producers Arthur H. Gorson and Bertha Navarro and coproducer Alejandro Springall
    Geometria, an unreleased 1987 short horror film by del Toro, finished in 2010, with a new video interview with the director

    Welcome to Bleak House, a video tour by del Toro of his home offices, featuring his personal collections
    New video interviews with del Toro, Navarro, and actor Ron Perlman

    Video interview with actor Federico Luppi

    Stills gallery

    Trailer

    New and improved English subtitle translation, approved by the director

    PLUS: A booklet featuring an essay by film critic Maitland McDonagh and excerpts from del Toro’s notes for the film

X’ed Out
by Charles Burns

Promo copy:

From the creator of Black Hole: the first volume of an epic masterpiece of graphic fiction in brilliant color.

Doug is having a strange night. A weird buzzing noise on the other side of the wall has woken him up, and there, across the room, next to a huge hole torn out of the bricks, sits his beloved cat, Inky. Who died years ago. But who’s nonetheless slinking out through the hole, beckoning Doug to follow.

What’s going on?

To say any more would spoil the freaky, Burnsian fun, especially because X’ed Out, unlike Black Hole, has not been previously serialized, and every unnervingly meticulous panel will be more tantalizing than the last . . .

Drawing inspiration from such diverse influences as Hergé and William Burroughs, Charles Burns has given us a dazzling spectral fever-dream—and a comic-book masterpiece.

Vampire Boy
Written by Carlos Trillo
Art by Eduardo Risso

Promo copy:

Left nameless by his father and sentenced to eternal life by a trick of fate and fortune, the protagonist of Carlos Trillo and Eduardo Risso’s Vampire Boy has spent fifty centuries in a body that never ages, locked in an eternal struggle with a rival as immortal as he.

Acclaimed writer Carlos Trillo teams with legendary artist Eduardo Risso (100 Bullets) to produce a poignantly engrossing twist on the classic vampire mythos, now collected in English for the first time!

* Writer Carlos Trillo has worked with some of the giants of the international comics scene, including Alberto Breccia and Jordi Bernet. Acclaimed artist Eduardo Risso is known for his work on titles like 100 Bullets, Aliens, and more.

* Collected in English for the first time!

Impending Geekgasm on Netflix Instant Watch – Dec. edition

Even though it’s a pretty light month, there are plenty of geektastic offerings coming to Netlfix streaming this holiday season including Kubrick’s The Shining, The Parallax View, Rosemary’s Baby, two Jackie Chan classics (Rumble in the Bronx, Supercop), Guillermo del Toro’s amazing debut feature Cronos, Dollhouse: Season 2, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead, Time Bandits, and Superman/Batman: Apocalypse.

Premiering December 1:

Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman (1958)
Batman Forever
The Crush
Date With an Angel
Death to Smoochy
Dolores Claiborne
Dreamchild
Friday the 13th (1980)
Friday the 13th: Part 2
Friday the 13th: Part 3
Friday the 13th: Part 4: The Final Chapter
Friday the 13th: Part 5: A New Beginning
Friday the 13th: Part 6: Jason Lives
Friday the 13th: Part 7: The New Blood
Friday the 13th: Part 8
From Within
Highway to Hell
Joe’s Apartment
Lord of Illusions
Outbreak
The Parallax View
Police Academy: Special Edition
Rosemary’s Baby
Rumble in the Bronx
The Shining (1980)
Slaughter
Volcano (1997)

Premiering December 2:

Centurion

Premiering December 3:

The Bourne Identity
The Crucible (1996)
Harry and the Hendersons
The Man in the Iron Mask (1998)
Solo (1996)
Supercop

Premiering December 4:

Bones: Season 5

Premiering December 7:

Cronos
Don’t Look Up

Premiering December 10:

The Deep
Journey to Promethea

Premiering December 11:

Dollhouse: Season 2

Premiering December 12:

I Spit on Your Corpse

Premiering December 13:

Scooby-Doo! Camp Scare

Premiering December 14:

The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle

Premiering December 15:

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead

Premiering December 20:

After.Life
Eyeborgs
Time Bandits

Premiering December 22:

The Whitest Kids U’ Know: Seasons 1-3

Premiering December 24:

Porky’s Revenge

Premiering December 25:

Night of the Demons

Premiering December 27:

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse

Premiering December 29:

Suck

Info courtesy of FeedFliks.

Books received 11/29/10 Part I

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Deadman’s Road
by Joe R. Lansdale

Promo copy:

The Reverend Jedidiah Mercer returns with the re-release of the highly influential pulp novel, Dead in the West, and four stories, one never before collected, one brand new. Contained herein are the Reverend’s adventures with zombies, ghouls, werewolves, Lovecraftian monsters and kobolds. Western action blends with grisly horror and ribald humor for a super collection of shoot-outs and fang-outs, claws and crawling horrors, and lessons about an angry, unforgiving god and methods for killing nasties of all kinds.

In Dead in the West, the Reverend faces a resurrected American Indian out for vengeance. Not only is the man back from the dead, he’s brought back others as servants, and they are angry, hungry little devils when there is an absence of light. Plenty of surprises, laughs, gross-outs and slimy horrors, with a slam bang ending. This novel inspired numerous writer to cross the West with Horror, Action, Humor, and a wobbly moral sensibility.

This first adventure of the Reverend sets up all the others, which include:

‘Deadman’s Road.’ The Reverend, on his mission from God, encounters a ghoul who waits on a dark road for travelers so that he can feed his belly and his crippled soul.

‘The Gentleman’s Hotel.’ The Reverend encounters a town, empty except for the lone survivor of a stage coach attack. Together, they face ghosts and werewolf Conquistadores who can not only transform into toothy adversaries, but also into dust and moths and are a real pain in the ass; all of it results in one hell of a cross-draw, dagnabbed, hair belly confrontation.

‘The Crawling Sky.’ In an isolated cabin the Reverend and an unwilling partner face a Lovecraftian horror with a nasty attitude and mind blowing abilities.

And finally, in ‘The Dark Down There,’ the Reverend and an unlikely partner, a three hundred pound lady named Flower, battle kobolds who cannibalize miners and serve a Queen that at a glance could pass for spoiled tapioca pudding. The Reverend even manages a glancing chance at a kind of backwoods romance.

Reverend Jedidiah Mercer, star of Dead in the West, returns in a quartet of sequels to the acclaimed novel. No one writes zombies and other supernatural nasties quite like Lansdale. Enjoy these horrific tales at your own peril.

House of Reckoning
by John Saul

Promo copy:

After the untimely death of her mother and the arrest of her father for killing a man in barroom brawl, fourteen-year-old Sarah Crane is forced to grow up fast. Left in the cold care of a foster family and alienated at school, Sarah befriends classmate Nick Dunnigan, a former mental patient still plagued by voices and visions, and the eccentric art instructor Bettina Phillips, a mentor eager to nurture Sarah’s talent for painting. But within the walls of Bettina’s ancestral mansion, Sarah finds that monstrous images from the house’s dark history seem to flow unbidden from her paintbrush—images echoed by Nick’s chilling hallucinations. It seems the violence and fury of long-dead generations have finally found a gateway from the grave into the world of the living. And Sarah and Nick have found a power they never had: to take control, and take revenge.

The Greyfriar (Vampire Empire, Book 1)
by Clay Griffith & Susan Griffith

Promo copy:

In the year 1870, a horrible plague of vampires swept over the northern regions of the world. Millions of humans were killed outright. Millions more died of disease and famine due to the havoc that followed. Within two years, once great cities were shrouded by the grey empire of the vampire clans. Human refugees fled south to the tropics because vampires could not tolerate the constant heat there. They brought technology and a feverish drive to reestablish their shattered societies of steam and iron amid the mosques of Alexandria, the torrid quietude of Panama, or the green temples of Malaya.
It is now 2020 and a bloody reckoning is coming.

Princess Adele is heir to the Empire of Equatoria, a remnant of the old tropical British Empire. She is quick with her wit as well as with a sword or gun. She is eager for an adventure before she settles into a life of duty and political marriage to man she does not know. But her quest turns black when she becomes the target of a merciless vampire clan. Her only protector is The Greyfriar, a mysterious hero who fights the vampires from deep within their territory. Their dangerous relationship plays out against an approaching war to the death between humankind and the vampire clans.

The Greyfriar: Vampire Empire is the first book in a trilogy of high adventure and alternate history. Combining rousing pulp action with steampunk style, The Greyfriar brings epic political themes to life within a story of heartbreaking romance, sacrifice, and heroism.

More in Part II

Books received 11/29/10 Part II

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

The Last Hieroglyph (The Collected Fantasies of Clark Ashton Smith, Vol. 5)

Promo copy:

The Last Hieroglyph is the fifth of the five volume Collected Fantasies series. Editors Scott Connors and Ron Hilger have compared original manuscripts, various typescripts, published editions, and Smith’s notes and letters, in order to prepare a definitive set of texts. The Last Hieroglyph includes, in chronological order, all of Clark Ashton Smith’s stories from "The Dark Age" to "The Dart of Rasasfa."

The Raven Queen
by Jules Watson

Promo copy:

In this dazzling retelling of one of Ireland’s most stirring legends, acclaimed author Jules Watson brings to life the story of Maeve, the raven queen, who is as fierce as she is captivating.

She was born to be a pawn, used to secure her father’s royal hold on his land. She was forced to advance his will through marriage—her own desires always thwarted. But free-spirited Maeve will no longer endure the schemes of her latest husband, Conor, the cunning ruler of Ulster. And when her father’s death puts her homeland at the mercy of its greedy lords and Conor’s forces, Maeve knows she must at last come into her own power to save it.

With secret skill and daring, Maeve proves herself the equal of any warrior on the battlefield. With intelligence and stealth, she learns the strategies—and sacrifices—of ruling a kingdom through treacherous alliances. And to draw on the dangerous magic of her country’s oldest gods, Maeve seeks out the wandering druid Ruan, whose unexpected passion and strange connection to the worlds of spirit imperil everything Maeve thought true about herself—and put her at war with both her duty and her fate.

The Horns of Ruin
by Tim Akers

Promo copy:

Eva Forge is the last paladin of a dead God. Morgan, God of battle and champion of the Fraterdom, was assassinated by his jealous brother, Amon. Over time, the Cult of Morgan has been surpassed by other gods, his blessings ignored in favor of brighter technologies and more mechanical miracles. Eva was the last child dedicated to the Cult of Morgan, forsaken by her parents and forgotten by her family. Now she watches as her new family, her Cult, crumbles all around her.

When a series of kidnappings and murders makes it clear that someone is trying to hasten the death of the Cult of Morgan, Eva must seek out unexpected allies and unwelcome answers in the city of Ash. But will she be able to save the city from a growing conspiracy, one that reaches back to her childhood, even back to the murder of her god?

More in Part I

Books received 11/29/10 James Barclay edition

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Elfsorrow (Legends of the Raven 1)
by James Barclay

Promo copy:

Another action-packed adventure from the new master of fantasy. The Raven travel to a new continent in search of mages to help the ruined college of Julatsa rebuild and find themselves in the midst of an ancient curse–a curse that has unleashed a plague that threatens to wipe out the elven race. Barclay excels with another tale that pitches The Raven against the clock and unseen foes. Full of desperate fights and secret betrayals, the story also fills in more of Balaia’s history and delves deeper into the ancient emnities between the colleges. Barclay has created a wonderfully appealing group of heroes, and with every book their history grows and the land they live in becomes wider and richer. This is landmark fantasy in the making.

Shadowheart (Legends of the Raven 2)
by James Barclay

Promo copy:

The second of James Barclay’s Legends of The Raven trilogy sees Barclay up the ante yet again and throw Balaia into a full blown war. Barclay has never been afraid of killing off favourite characters, but now in the latest of his blisteringly paced, all-action heroic fantasies he puts The Raven through a trial that all of them will be hard pressed to survive. Barclay has proved himself to be the most successful fantasy writer of his generation. With 200,000 copies in print, Chronicles and Legends of the Raven are building into landmark fantasy.

Demonstorm (Legends of the Raven 3)
by James Barclay

Promo copy:

THIS IS THE END …The dragons have gone home, the elves are safe. The Raven have kept their promises. But fate has not finished with them. As the war between the colleges rages on an old enemy senses that his chance to revenge a bitter defeat has come. Tessaya, Lord of the Paleon Tribes has waited patiently for his moment and now, with Balaia in flames, he makes his move and unleashes the Wesmen hordes. In Xetesk, his forces scattered, Dystran, Lord of the Mount faces certain defeat by the Wesmen unless he unleashes the horrfying power of dimensional magics. And Dystran has not come this far to be beaten at the last by a rabble of ignorant tribesmen. And so the veil between dimensions is torn …And beyond, a predatory evil stirs. Demons catch the scent of countless souls in Balaia. Can even the Raven prevail when the world is coming to an end? A fantasy milestone is reached. James Barclay brings his sensational saga of The Raven to a heartsopping conclusion

Books received 11/29/10 Del Rey edition

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Catalyst: A Tale of the Barque Cat
by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough

Promo copy:

Pilot, engineer, doctor—ship’s cat? Since the early days of interstellar travel, the so-called Barque Cats have become essential to the well-staffed space vessel. Assisted by humans—Cat Persons—with whom they share a deep and loving bond, the Barque Cats are responsible for keeping spacecraft free of vermin, for alerting crews to environmental hazards, and for acting as morale officers.

But a widespread epidemic affecting livestock on numerous planets throws the felines’ future into doubt. Suddenly the galactic government announces a plan to impound and possibly destroy all exposed animals, including the Barque Cats. With the clock racing against them, a handful of very special kittens and their humans will join forces to save the Barque Cats, and quite possibly the universe as they know it, from total destruction.

Vortex (Star Wars: Fate of the Jedi, Book 6)
by Troy Denning

Promo copy:

In a stunning turn of events, Luke Skywalker and his son, Ben, joined forces with members of the Sith armada sent to kill them—and turned their combined might against the monstrous being Abeloth. But with one menace dealt with, a new and even more insidious threat looms.

Now Luke and Ben must go on the run, taking along the inscrutable—and ever dangerous—Sith apprentice Vestara Khai. With a host of Sith warriors in hot pursuit, the Skywalkers soon find themselves trapped on the moon Pydyr, caught between their former allies and a mob of angry Fallanassi. A new truce may be their only hope. But can a Sith ever be trusted?

With the Jedi’s most famous father-and-son team outnumbered and outgunned, the countdown to galactic disaster has begun—and time is running out.

Helfort’s War Book 4: The Battle for Commitment Plane
by Graham Sharp Paul

Promo copy:

It was insane, it was suicidal, it was wrong—
and by God he was going to do it.

The Hammer Worlds have Helfort exactly where they want him. The ultimatum is brutal and precise. Unless the Federated hero surrenders, the Hammer World’s prisoner Anna Cheung—the only woman Helfort has ever loved—will be handed over to a bunch of depraved troopers to be violated, then executed by firing squad.

Helfort can obey, or he can do what the crew proposes: sail his three frontline dreadnoughts into the Hammers’ stronghold Commitment Planet, liberate Anna and the rest of the POWs held captive there, and continue the fight in the jaws of the enemy. Helfort’s decision? Bring it on!

Catacombs: A Tale of the Barque Cats
by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough

Promo copy:

In Catalyst, award-winning authors Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough introduced readers to the beguiling Barque Cats: spacefaring felines who serve aboard starships as full-fledged members of the crew. Highly evolved, the cats share an almost telepathic bond with their minders, or Cat Persons—until, suddenly, there is no “almost” about it, and a particular Barque Cat, Chester, learns to exchange thoughts with his human friend, Jubal. Other cats soon gain the same ability.

Behind the seeming miracle is a mysterious cat named Pshaw-Ra, who possesses knowledge and technology far beyond anything the Barque Cats—or their humans—have ever seen. When fear of a virulent plague leads the government first to quarantine and then to kill all animals suspected of infection, Pshaw-Ra—with the help of Chester, Jubal, and the crew of the starship Ranzo—activates a “mousehole” in space that carries the refugees to a place of safety: Pshaw-Ra’s home planet of Mau, where godlike cats are worshiped by human slaves.

But Pshaw-Ra’s actions are less noble than they appear. The scheming cat plans to mate the Barque Cats with his own feline stock, creating a hybrid race of superior cats—a race destined to conquer the universe. Yet right from the start, his plans go awry.

For one thing, there’s a new queen on Mau: Pshaw-Ra’s daughter Nefure, a spoiled brat—er, cat—with a temper as short as her attention span. Pshaw-Ra’s other daughter, the rightful queen Renpet, is exiled, running for her life in the only direction available to her—down into the vast catacombs beneath the Mauan desert. Far from receiving the hero’s welcome he expected, Pshaw-Ra must use every bit of his considerable cleverness just to survive.

Meanwhile, as usual, Chester and Jubal stumble right into the middle of things, in the process uncovering the lost secrets of the Mauan civilization. But that’s not all they uncover. In the forgotten catacombs deep below the Mauan capital, something has awakened. Something as old as the universe. Something that hungers to devour all light and life—and that bears an undying hatred for cats.

Long Lost Print Of KING KONG Discovered In London Cinema

Ken Hulsey over at Monster Island News reports that a rare print of the legendary King Kong was uncovered within the walls of Grosvenor Cinema during a restoration of the venerable London movie house.

Quote:
During recent renovations to the Grosvenor Cinema, a worker named Ross McMillan was working on knocking down a partition wall in the projection room when he noticed something odd looking in the rubble. To his amazement he discovered that it was a copy of "King Kong." Not just any copy, mind you, a copy that has been missing from the vaults of RKO for more than seventy years.

The most promising and perhaps most exciting bit of news was in the very next line.

Quote:
An original print, that many[sic] very well contain scenes cut out of the film, including the long-lost Lizard and Spider canyon sequences.

After the infamous scenes terrified the test-screening audiences, they were cut from the final release of the picture and are presumed lost. Only one still exists from that scene. Peter Jackson recreated the scene, using special effects and filming methods of the original 1933 feature, for the 2005 DVD release.


Only known surviving image from the Spider sequence

Though dubious, I hold out hope that the scene is indeed on that print. The stuff of countless Kong fans’ dreams!

(Thanks to Mark London Williams for the link.)