Juan of the Dead returns to Austin!

This is (ahem) fantastic news for those in Austin:

Quote:
And on April 13-15, we’re showing Fantastic Fest Presents: JUAN OF THE DEAD at the Alamo Drafthouse Village. This Cuban take on the zombie revolution film, written and directed by Alejandro Brugués, took Fantastic Fest 2011 by storm, garnering incredibly enthusiastic reviews from critics and fans alike. If you missed it at the festival or if you’re just dying to see it again, be sure to catch the film Devin Faraci of BADASS DIGEST calls "inspiring and exciting and revolutionary…and very, very brave."

After seeing it at last year’s Fantastic Fest, here’s what I wrote:

Quote:
Promoted as the first Cuban-made horror film, Juan of the Dead delivered a creative, zombie/comedy on the level of Shaun of The Dead (which despite the title bears little resemblance) and Zombietown. After Havana descends into chaos following the zombie outbreak, Juan, the procrastinating title hero, must overcome his lackadaisical nature to defend his friends and estranged daughter. First time writer/director Alejandro Brugués, who currently lives in his native Cuba, bravely crafted this pro-Cuba, anti-Castro film. News reports punctuate the movie relating the official government position that these incidents are the results of “American-backed dissidents” so the characters throughout refer to the undead as dissidents. According to Brugués, who participated in a q&a following the feature, many of the weird occurrences actually happened. And there was plenty of strange. Juan of the Dead, easily the best and most original zombie film of the year, offered loving nods to classic Romero zombiefests, Dead Alive, and even Ghostbusters (“Juan of the Dead, we kills your loved ones.”).

Definitely a MUST see!

Juan of the Dead returns to Austin!

This is (ahem) fantastic news for those in Austin:

Quote:
And on April 13-15, we’re showing Fantastic Fest Presents: JUAN OF THE DEAD at the Alamo Drafthouse Village. This Cuban take on the zombie revolution film, written and directed by Alejandro Brugués, took Fantastic Fest 2011 by storm, garnering incredibly enthusiastic reviews from critics and fans alike. If you missed it at the festival or if you’re just dying to see it again, be sure to catch the film Devin Faraci of BADASS DIGEST calls “inspiring and exciting and revolutionary…and very, very brave.”

After seeing it at last year’s Fantastic Fest, here’s what I wrote:

Quote:
Promoted as the first Cuban-made horror film, Juan of the Dead delivered a creative, zombie/comedy on the level of Shaun of The Dead (which despite the title bears little resemblance) and Zombietown. After Havana descends into chaos following the zombie outbreak, Juan, the procrastinating title hero, must overcome his lackadaisical nature to defend his friends and estranged daughter. First time writer/director Alejandro Brugués, who currently lives in his native Cuba, bravely crafted this pro-Cuba, anti-Castro film. News reports punctuate the movie relating the official government position that these incidents are the results of “American-backed dissidents” so the characters throughout refer to the undead as dissidents. According to Brugués, who participated in a q&a following the feature, many of the weird occurrences actually happened. And there was plenty of strange. Juan of the Dead, easily the best and most original zombie film of the year, offered loving nods to classic Romero zombiefests, Dead Alive, and even Ghostbusters (“Juan of the Dead, we kills your loved ones.”).

Definitely a MUST see!

Juan of the Dead returns to Austin! was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

Books received 3/13/12

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Angelmaker
by Nick Harkaway
Cover by Jason Booher

Promo copy:

From the acclaimed author of The Gone-Away World, blistering gangster noir meets howling absurdist comedy as the forces of good square off against the forces of evil, and only an unassuming clockwork repairman and an octogenarian former superspy can save the world from total destruction.

Joe Spork spends his days fixing antique clocks. The son of infamous London criminal Mathew “Tommy Gun” Spork, he has turned his back on his family’s mobster history and aims to live a quiet life. That orderly existence is suddenly upended when Joe activates a particularly unusual clockwork mechanism. His client, Edie Banister, is more than the kindly old lady she appears to be—she’s a retired international secret agent. And the device? It’s a 1950s doomsday machine. Having triggered it, Joe now faces the wrath of both the British government and a diabolical South Asian dictator who is also Edie’s old arch-nemesis. On the upside, Joe’s got a girl: a bold receptionist named Polly whose smarts, savvy and sex appeal may be just what he needs. With Joe’s once-quiet world suddenly overrun by mad monks, psychopathic serial killers, scientific geniuses and threats to the future of conscious life in the universe, he realizes that the only way to survive is to muster the courage to fight, help Edie complete a mission she abandoned years ago and pick up his father’s old gun…

This looks fascinating. Sadly, won’t be able to get to it until after I turn in The Apes of Wrath.

Here’s some great quotes about the book courtesy of Knopf’s pr department.

Quote:
Wired raves, “ANGELMAKER is like a Quentin Tarantino movie written by Neil Gaiman: larger-than-life characters, dry British humor, a heavy dose of the weird, and a bit macabre; horrendous things wrapped up in gorgeous language.”

And William Gibson himself highlighted the book as a current favorite in the New York Times. “You are in for a treat, sort of like Dickens meets Mervyn Peake in a modern Mother London. The very best sort of odd.”

The Master of Heathcrest Hall
by Galen Beckett
Cover by Phil Heffernan

Promo copy:

Even as her husband is about to attain undreamed-of power, Ivy Quent fears for her family’s safety. With war looming and turmoil sweeping the nation of Altania, Ivy finds the long-abandoned manor on the moors a temporary haven. But nowhere is really safe from the treachery that threatens all the Quents have risked to achieve. And an even greater peril is stirring deep within the countryside’s beautiful green estates. As Ivy dares an alliance with a brilliant illusionist and a dangerous lord, she races to master her forbidden talents and unravel the terrible truth at the heart of her land’s unrest—even as a triumphant, inhuman darkness rises to claim Altania eternally for its own.

Body, Inc.
by Alan Dean Foster
Cover by Carl Galian

Promo copy:

New York Times bestselling author Alan Dean Foster has always been on the cutting-edge of science fiction. In Body, Inc., he creates a tomorrow where genetic manipulation has become ubiquitous, and the very meaning of what it is to be human is undergoing drastic transformation.

In a world deeply wounded by centuries of environmental damage, two unlikely souls join forces: Dr. Ingrid Seastrom has stumbled into a mystery involving quantum-entangled nanoscale implants—a mystery that just may kill her. Whispr is a thief and murderer whose radical body modifications have left him so thin he is all but two-dimensional. Whispr has found a silver data-storage thread, a technology that will make him wealthy beyond his wildest dreams. He is also going mad with longing for Dr. Ingrid Seastrom. Their quest to learn the secrets of the implant and the thread—which may well be the same secret—has led them to the South African Economic Combine, otherwise known as SAEC. Or, less respectfully, SICK. SICK, it seems, has the answers.

Unfortunately, SICK has also got Napun Molé, a cold-blooded assassin whose genetic enhancements make him the equivalent of a small army. Molé has already missed one chance to kill Ingrid and Whispr and now he has followed them to South Africa. This time, he is not only going to succeed, he is going to make them suffer.

RevSF contributing editor Alan J. Porter interviewed Foster about The Human Blend, the first volume of The Tipping Point Series.

Books received 3/13/12 was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

Books received 3/13/12

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Angelmaker
by Nick Harkaway
Cover by Jason Booher

Promo copy:

From the acclaimed author of The Gone-Away World, blistering gangster noir meets howling absurdist comedy as the forces of good square off against the forces of evil, and only an unassuming clockwork repairman and an octogenarian former superspy can save the world from total destruction.

Joe Spork spends his days fixing antique clocks. The son of infamous London criminal Mathew “Tommy Gun” Spork, he has turned his back on his family’s mobster history and aims to live a quiet life. That orderly existence is suddenly upended when Joe activates a particularly unusual clockwork mechanism. His client, Edie Banister, is more than the kindly old lady she appears to be—she’s a retired international secret agent. And the device? It’s a 1950s doomsday machine. Having triggered it, Joe now faces the wrath of both the British government and a diabolical South Asian dictator who is also Edie’s old arch-nemesis. On the upside, Joe’s got a girl: a bold receptionist named Polly whose smarts, savvy and sex appeal may be just what he needs. With Joe’s once-quiet world suddenly overrun by mad monks, psychopathic serial killers, scientific geniuses and threats to the future of conscious life in the universe, he realizes that the only way to survive is to muster the courage to fight, help Edie complete a mission she abandoned years ago and pick up his father’s old gun…

This looks fascinating. Sadly, won’t be able to get to it until after I turn in The Apes of Wrath.

Here’s some great quotes about the book courtesy of Knopf’s pr department.

Quote:
Wired raves, “ANGELMAKER is like a Quentin Tarantino movie written by Neil Gaiman: larger-than-life characters, dry British humor, a heavy dose of the weird, and a bit macabre; horrendous things wrapped up in gorgeous language.”

And William Gibson himself highlighted the book as a current favorite in the New York Times. “You are in for a treat, sort of like Dickens meets Mervyn Peake in a modern Mother London. The very best sort of odd.”

The Master of Heathcrest Hall
by Galen Beckett
Cover by Phil Heffernan

Promo copy:

Even as her husband is about to attain undreamed-of power, Ivy Quent fears for her family’s safety. With war looming and turmoil sweeping the nation of Altania, Ivy finds the long-abandoned manor on the moors a temporary haven. But nowhere is really safe from the treachery that threatens all the Quents have risked to achieve. And an even greater peril is stirring deep within the countryside’s beautiful green estates. As Ivy dares an alliance with a brilliant illusionist and a dangerous lord, she races to master her forbidden talents and unravel the terrible truth at the heart of her land’s unrest—even as a triumphant, inhuman darkness rises to claim Altania eternally for its own.

Body, Inc.
by Alan Dean Foster
Cover by Carl Galian

Promo copy:

New York Times bestselling author Alan Dean Foster has always been on the cutting-edge of science fiction. In Body, Inc., he creates a tomorrow where genetic manipulation has become ubiquitous, and the very meaning of what it is to be human is undergoing drastic transformation.

In a world deeply wounded by centuries of environmental damage, two unlikely souls join forces: Dr. Ingrid Seastrom has stumbled into a mystery involving quantum-entangled nanoscale implants—a mystery that just may kill her. Whispr is a thief and murderer whose radical body modifications have left him so thin he is all but two-dimensional. Whispr has found a silver data-storage thread, a technology that will make him wealthy beyond his wildest dreams. He is also going mad with longing for Dr. Ingrid Seastrom. Their quest to learn the secrets of the implant and the thread—which may well be the same secret—has led them to the South African Economic Combine, otherwise known as SAEC. Or, less respectfully, SICK. SICK, it seems, has the answers.

Unfortunately, SICK has also got Napun Molé, a cold-blooded assassin whose genetic enhancements make him the equivalent of a small army. Molé has already missed one chance to kill Ingrid and Whispr and now he has followed them to South Africa. This time, he is not only going to succeed, he is going to make them suffer.

RevSF contributing editor Alan J. Porter interviewed Foster about The Human Blend, the first volume of The Tipping Point Series.

Books received 3/13/12 was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

Books received 3/13/12

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Angelmaker
by Nick Harkaway
Cover by Jason Booher

Promo copy:

From the acclaimed author of The Gone-Away World, blistering gangster noir meets howling absurdist comedy as the forces of good square off against the forces of evil, and only an unassuming clockwork repairman and an octogenarian former superspy can save the world from total destruction.

Joe Spork spends his days fixing antique clocks. The son of infamous London criminal Mathew “Tommy Gun” Spork, he has turned his back on his family’s mobster history and aims to live a quiet life. That orderly existence is suddenly upended when Joe activates a particularly unusual clockwork mechanism. His client, Edie Banister, is more than the kindly old lady she appears to be—she’s a retired international secret agent. And the device? It’s a 1950s doomsday machine. Having triggered it, Joe now faces the wrath of both the British government and a diabolical South Asian dictator who is also Edie’s old arch-nemesis. On the upside, Joe’s got a girl: a bold receptionist named Polly whose smarts, savvy and sex appeal may be just what he needs. With Joe’s once-quiet world suddenly overrun by mad monks, psychopathic serial killers, scientific geniuses and threats to the future of conscious life in the universe, he realizes that the only way to survive is to muster the courage to fight, help Edie complete a mission she abandoned years ago and pick up his father’s old gun…

This looks fascinating. Sadly, won’t be able to get to it until after I turn in The Apes of Wrath.

Here’s some great quotes about the book courtesy of Knopf’s pr department.

Quote:
Wired raves, "ANGELMAKER is like a Quentin Tarantino movie written by Neil Gaiman: larger-than-life characters, dry British humor, a heavy dose of the weird, and a bit macabre; horrendous things wrapped up in gorgeous language."

And William Gibson himself highlighted the book as a current favorite in the New York Times. “You are in for a treat, sort of like Dickens meets Mervyn Peake in a modern Mother London. The very best sort of odd.”

The Master of Heathcrest Hall
by Galen Beckett
Cover by Phil Heffernan

Promo copy:

Even as her husband is about to attain undreamed-of power, Ivy Quent fears for her family’s safety. With war looming and turmoil sweeping the nation of Altania, Ivy finds the long-abandoned manor on the moors a temporary haven. But nowhere is really safe from the treachery that threatens all the Quents have risked to achieve. And an even greater peril is stirring deep within the countryside’s beautiful green estates. As Ivy dares an alliance with a brilliant illusionist and a dangerous lord, she races to master her forbidden talents and unravel the terrible truth at the heart of her land’s unrest—even as a triumphant, inhuman darkness rises to claim Altania eternally for its own.

Body, Inc.
by Alan Dean Foster
Cover by Carl Galian

Promo copy:

New York Times bestselling author Alan Dean Foster has always been on the cutting-edge of science fiction. In Body, Inc., he creates a tomorrow where genetic manipulation has become ubiquitous, and the very meaning of what it is to be human is undergoing drastic transformation.

In a world deeply wounded by centuries of environmental damage, two unlikely souls join forces: Dr. Ingrid Seastrom has stumbled into a mystery involving quantum-entangled nanoscale implants—a mystery that just may kill her. Whispr is a thief and murderer whose radical body modifications have left him so thin he is all but two-dimensional. Whispr has found a silver data-storage thread, a technology that will make him wealthy beyond his wildest dreams. He is also going mad with longing for Dr. Ingrid Seastrom. Their quest to learn the secrets of the implant and the thread—which may well be the same secret—has led them to the South African Economic Combine, otherwise known as SAEC. Or, less respectfully, SICK. SICK, it seems, has the answers.

Unfortunately, SICK has also got Napun Molé, a cold-blooded assassin whose genetic enhancements make him the equivalent of a small army. Molé has already missed one chance to kill Ingrid and Whispr and now he has followed them to South Africa. This time, he is not only going to succeed, he is going to make them suffer.

RevSF contributing editor Alan J. Porter interviewed Foster about The Human Blend, the first volume of The Tipping Point Series.

Books received 3/13/12 Pyr edition

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Fair Coin
by E. C. Myers
Cover by Sam Weber

Promo copy:

The coin changed Ephraim’s life. But how can he change it back?

Sixteen-year-old Ephraim Scott is horrified when he comes home from school and finds his mother unconscious at the kitchen table, clutching a bottle of pills. The reason for her suicide attempt is even more disturbing: she thought she’d identified Ephraim’s body at the hospital that day.

Among his dead double’s belongings, Ephraim finds a strange coin–a coin that grants wishes when he flips it. With a flick of his thumb, he can turn his alcoholic mother into a model parent and catch the eye of the girl he’s liked since second grade. But the coin doesn’t always change things for the better. And a bad flip can destroy other people’s lives as easily as it rebuilds his own.

The coin could give Ephraim everything he’s ever wanted–if he learns to control its power before his luck runs out.

Destroyer of Worlds (Kingdom of the Serpent, Book 3)
by Mark Chadbourn

Shadow’s Master
by Jon Sprunk
Cover by Michael Komarck

Promo copy:

THE NORTHERN WASTES…
A land of death and shadow where only the strongest survive. Yet that is where Caim must go to follow the mystery at the heart of his life. Armed only with his knives and his companions, he plunges into a world of eternal night where the sun is never seen and every hand is turned against him.

Caim has buried his father’s sword and found some measure of peace, but deep in the north an unfathomable power lies waiting. To succeed on this mission, Caim will have to do more than just survive. He must face the Shadow’s Master.

With this novel, Jon Sprunk brings his action-packed trilogy to an epic conclusion.

Books received 3/13/12 Pyr edition was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

Books received 3/13/12 Pyr edition

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Fair Coin
by E. C. Myers
Cover by Sam Weber

Promo copy:

The coin changed Ephraim’s life. But how can he change it back?

Sixteen-year-old Ephraim Scott is horrified when he comes home from school and finds his mother unconscious at the kitchen table, clutching a bottle of pills. The reason for her suicide attempt is even more disturbing: she thought she’d identified Ephraim’s body at the hospital that day.

Among his dead double’s belongings, Ephraim finds a strange coin–a coin that grants wishes when he flips it. With a flick of his thumb, he can turn his alcoholic mother into a model parent and catch the eye of the girl he’s liked since second grade. But the coin doesn’t always change things for the better. And a bad flip can destroy other people’s lives as easily as it rebuilds his own.

The coin could give Ephraim everything he’s ever wanted–if he learns to control its power before his luck runs out.

Destroyer of Worlds (Kingdom of the Serpent, Book 3)
by Mark Chadbourn

Shadow’s Master
by Jon Sprunk
Cover by Michael Komarck

Promo copy:

THE NORTHERN WASTES…
A land of death and shadow where only the strongest survive. Yet that is where Caim must go to follow the mystery at the heart of his life. Armed only with his knives and his companions, he plunges into a world of eternal night where the sun is never seen and every hand is turned against him.

Caim has buried his father’s sword and found some measure of peace, but deep in the north an unfathomable power lies waiting. To succeed on this mission, Caim will have to do more than just survive. He must face the Shadow’s Master.

With this novel, Jon Sprunk brings his action-packed trilogy to an epic conclusion.

Books received 3/13/12 Pyr edition was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

Books received 3/13/12 Pyr edition

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Fair Coin
by E. C. Myers
Cover by Sam Weber

Promo copy:

The coin changed Ephraim’s life. But how can he change it back?

Sixteen-year-old Ephraim Scott is horrified when he comes home from school and finds his mother unconscious at the kitchen table, clutching a bottle of pills. The reason for her suicide attempt is even more disturbing: she thought she’d identified Ephraim’s body at the hospital that day.

Among his dead double’s belongings, Ephraim finds a strange coin–a coin that grants wishes when he flips it. With a flick of his thumb, he can turn his alcoholic mother into a model parent and catch the eye of the girl he’s liked since second grade. But the coin doesn’t always change things for the better. And a bad flip can destroy other people’s lives as easily as it rebuilds his own.

The coin could give Ephraim everything he’s ever wanted–if he learns to control its power before his luck runs out.

Destroyer of Worlds (Kingdom of the Serpent, Book 3)
by Mark Chadbourn

Shadow’s Master
by Jon Sprunk
Cover by Michael Komarck

Promo copy:

THE NORTHERN WASTES…
A land of death and shadow where only the strongest survive. Yet that is where Caim must go to follow the mystery at the heart of his life. Armed only with his knives and his companions, he plunges into a world of eternal night where the sun is never seen and every hand is turned against him.

Caim has buried his father’s sword and found some measure of peace, but deep in the north an unfathomable power lies waiting. To succeed on this mission, Caim will have to do more than just survive. He must face the Shadow’s Master.

With this novel, Jon Sprunk brings his action-packed trilogy to an epic conclusion.

In honor of the late Leslie Cochran

The icon of the Austin weird, Leslie Cochran died this morning. The thong-wearing, outspoken street person ran for mayor three times (once finishing second). Often seen pushing an oversized cart adorned with various handmade signs and slogans, Leslie came to typify the unusual and strange of Austin. He is so beloved that the mayor has declared today Leslie Cochran day.

I first encountered Leslie in 1997 while riding a downtown bus. This meeting inspired my short story “JohnCalvin,” which appeared in Electric Velocipede #5 (Fall 2003).

In honor of Leslie’s passing, here’s “JohnCalvin.”

JohnCalvin

by Rick Klaw

The tiara itched his dirty scalp. Not that JohnCalvin noticed or cared. He had bigger concerns. Like how to keep Bobo away from his guitar or why his black hose kept falling.

This was way too early in the morning for Patrick. No one should be up this early. Yet here he was, sitting on a bus heading toward a new job he really didn’t want. He kept trying to focus on the Elmer Kelton novel in his lap, but the brain and eyes were having trouble hooking up. His mind would wander over his life and the mess of the past six months. The separation, the job troubles, illness…all added up to big trouble. Several of his friends marveled at the fact that Patrick hadn’t lost his mind and to be honest so had he. Things seemed to slowly be looking up. Ever so slowly. His improved health and new job brought Patrick some solace. Sure the job was a return to bookstores and lord knows how long his health would hold together. He often felt for every step forward he took two steps back.

“You look troubled, my friend.” He was snapped out of his introspection to an older grey haired, bearded gentleman in a tiara! Patrick did a double take. Not just a tiara but a white blouse complete with a feather boa and a plaid skirt. He wore black hose that sported several runs and drooped down to his knees.

“Excuse me?” He tried to not stare but how could you not. There was so much to take in. The little white purse hanging over his shoulder. The huge teddy bear cuddled in his arms. The guitar case wrapped in a large white trash bag on the seat next to him.

Bobo fussed at JohnCalvin. He hated the way he spoke to strangers like they were his friends or something. They both knew that JohnCalvin’s only friend was Bobo.

Several moments passed and Patrick thought the transvestite had gone wherever crazies go when he spoke up again. “I asked if you were ok.”

The old man leaned in and whispered to Patrick. His breath smelled not of alcohol as you would expect but of poor hygiene. “You don’t understand the risk I take talking to you. They are everywhere. Bobo warned me about you but I like you.” He pointed at the western in Patrick’s lap. “Only a man of culture, taste, and sophistication would read such an important work.”

Despite himself, Patrick smiled at that comment. He though how happy his Papa would’ve been to hear that. He was a man of culture, taste, and sophistication that happened to devour westerns. “Um.. Thanks… Who is Bobo?”

“Hush… they are everywhere.” He leaned even closer and nodded his head toward the bear.

“What? The bear?”

“Quiet. They think he’s just a stuffed animal. But we know better. Don’t we.” He winked at Patrick.

Patrick rolled his eyes and smiled as the old man went on. “My name is…” He shot an acidic glance at the bear. “Shut up! What harm will it do?”

He adjusted his boa and smiled at Patrick. “My name is JohnCalvin.” He said it as though it was one word like his entire identity was wrapped up in it.

“I’m Patrick.”

“Charmed.” JohnCalvin extend his hand curved downward at the wrist in a very feminine manner.

On reflex Patrick reached up and shook it. The hand was cold and dry. Patrick swore he could feel flakes of skin peel off. A shiver went up his spine.

As he averted his eyes from JohnCalvin, he spied the candlestick holder on his lap. “Can I ask you something, John?”

The old man stared off into space as the bus sped a long. His lips moved as he muttered something.

“In the brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight.” Then Bobo joined in as the chant continued, “Change! Change, O form of man! Release the might from fleshy mire.” The pure light of reality splurged forth from the talisman of power illuminating the way and granting JohnCalvin the power to smite the enemy.

His hands stroked the candlestick holder to some private rhythm. Faster and faster as JohnCalvin’s lips moved. Suddenly he convulsed and spit out, spraying the seat next to Patrick.

“Hey! Watch it!” Patrick moved away.

As fast as it started it stopped and JohnCalvin looked at Patrick with a queer little smile. “I’m sorry, my friend. Sometimes the enemy must be expelled. Ya know they send germs out to infiltrate each and everyone of us.”

“Why? What?” Patrick was confused. It was too early for this.

With a gentle nod, JohnCalvin pulled the cord telling the bus to stop. “We all do what we must to find our way. Good day, my new friend.” And with that JohnCalvin grabbed his guitar case wrapped in a white garbage bag, his best friend Bobo, and the candlestick holder. He stepped off the bus and out of Patrick’s life.

JohnCalvin watched the bus slip away from his world. He looked down at his best friend. “Another day.. Another saved soul. Score one for our side.”

Raising his hand, the old man in the plaid skirt, black hose, boa, and tiara flagged down another bus with yet another soul to save.

In honor of the late Leslie Cochran was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

In honor of the late Leslie Cochran

The icon of the Austin weird, Leslie Cochran died this morning. The thong-wearing, outspoken street person ran for mayor three times (once finishing second). Often seen pushing an oversized cart adorned with various handmade signs and slogans, Leslie came to typify the unusual and strange of Austin. He is so beloved that the mayor has declared today Leslie Cochran day.

I first encountered Leslie in 1997 while riding a downtown bus. This meeting inspired my short story “JohnCalvin,” which appeared in Electric Velocipede #5 (Fall 2003).

In honor of Leslie’s passing, here’s “JohnCalvin.”

JohnCalvin

by Rick Klaw

The tiara itched his dirty scalp. Not that JohnCalvin noticed or cared. He had bigger concerns. Like how to keep Bobo away from his guitar or why his black hose kept falling.

This was way too early in the morning for Patrick. No one should be up this early. Yet here he was, sitting on a bus heading toward a new job he really didn’t want. He kept trying to focus on the Elmer Kelton novel in his lap, but the brain and eyes were having trouble hooking up. His mind would wander over his life and the mess of the past six months. The separation, the job troubles, illness…all added up to big trouble. Several of his friends marveled at the fact that Patrick hadn’t lost his mind and to be honest so had he. Things seemed to slowly be looking up. Ever so slowly. His improved health and new job brought Patrick some solace. Sure the job was a return to bookstores and lord knows how long his health would hold together. He often felt for every step forward he took two steps back.

“You look troubled, my friend.” He was snapped out of his introspection to an older grey haired, bearded gentleman in a tiara! Patrick did a double take. Not just a tiara but a white blouse complete with a feather boa and a plaid skirt. He wore black hose that sported several runs and drooped down to his knees.

“Excuse me?” He tried to not stare but how could you not. There was so much to take in. The little white purse hanging over his shoulder. The huge teddy bear cuddled in his arms. The guitar case wrapped in a large white trash bag on the seat next to him.

Bobo fussed at JohnCalvin. He hated the way he spoke to strangers like they were his friends or something. They both knew that JohnCalvin’s only friend was Bobo.

Several moments passed and Patrick thought the transvestite had gone wherever crazies go when he spoke up again. “I asked if you were ok.”

The old man leaned in and whispered to Patrick. His breath smelled not of alcohol as you would expect but of poor hygiene. “You don’t understand the risk I take talking to you. They are everywhere. Bobo warned me about you but I like you.” He pointed at the western in Patrick’s lap. “Only a man of culture, taste, and sophistication would read such an important work.”

Despite himself, Patrick smiled at that comment. He though how happy his Papa would’ve been to hear that. He was a man of culture, taste, and sophistication that happened to devour westerns. “Um.. Thanks… Who is Bobo?”

“Hush… they are everywhere.” He leaned even closer and nodded his head toward the bear.

“What? The bear?”

“Quiet. They think he’s just a stuffed animal. But we know better. Don’t we.” He winked at Patrick.

Patrick rolled his eyes and smiled as the old man went on. “My name is…” He shot an acidic glance at the bear. “Shut up! What harm will it do?”

He adjusted his boa and smiled at Patrick. “My name is JohnCalvin.” He said it as though it was one word like his entire identity was wrapped up in it.

“I’m Patrick.”

“Charmed.” JohnCalvin extend his hand curved downward at the wrist in a very feminine manner.

On reflex Patrick reached up and shook it. The hand was cold and dry. Patrick swore he could feel flakes of skin peel off. A shiver went up his spine.

As he averted his eyes from JohnCalvin, he spied the candlestick holder on his lap. “Can I ask you something, John?”

The old man stared off into space as the bus sped a long. His lips moved as he muttered something.

“In the brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight.” Then Bobo joined in as the chant continued, “Change! Change, O form of man! Release the might from fleshy mire.” The pure light of reality splurged forth from the talisman of power illuminating the way and granting JohnCalvin the power to smite the enemy.

His hands stroked the candlestick holder to some private rhythm. Faster and faster as JohnCalvin’s lips moved. Suddenly he convulsed and spit out, spraying the seat next to Patrick.

“Hey! Watch it!” Patrick moved away.

As fast as it started it stopped and JohnCalvin looked at Patrick with a queer little smile. “I’m sorry, my friend. Sometimes the enemy must be expelled. Ya know they send germs out to infiltrate each and everyone of us.”

“Why? What?” Patrick was confused. It was too early for this.

With a gentle nod, JohnCalvin pulled the cord telling the bus to stop. “We all do what we must to find our way. Good day, my new friend.” And with that JohnCalvin grabbed his guitar case wrapped in a white garbage bag, his best friend Bobo, and the candlestick holder. He stepped off the bus and out of Patrick’s life.

JohnCalvin watched the bus slip away from his world. He looked down at his best friend. “Another day.. Another saved soul. Score one for our side.”

Raising his hand, the old man in the plaid skirt, black hose, boa, and tiara flagged down another bus with yet another soul to save.

In honor of the late Leslie Cochran was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon