Last night, I had this long, complex dream about Jeff and Ann Vandermeer. The gist of the dream was that they took a group of diner-goers hostage in order to explain their latest literary theory. Not surprisingly, no one understood it. Frustrated, the duo planned on killing a hostage an hour until someone comprehended it.

Vandermeers hard at work on what I can only assume is a new literary theory!

Since I seemingly grok Jeff’s books (and presumably the only one in the vicinity stupid enough to help), the cops called me in to decipher the theory. Problem was that it was complete unintelligible, When it became obvious that I had no idea what the hell they were talking about, the couple kissed and similar to the beginning of Pulp Fiction, Ann stood on the table pointing her gun at people. Before she could scream "Any of you fucking pricks move, and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!’", I woke up.

Some weird ass shit there.