It’s certainly no secret of my love for all things simian. What many of you may not realize is that I’m just one of many of the multitude. As a public service, ye olde Geek Curmudgeon has your back with an ample supply of gifts for the ape nut.
Steve Ditko’s Monsters Volume 2: Konga
Due largely to their significant roles in the formation of the Marvel Universe, Steve Ditko and Jack Kirby are inexorably linked. Prior to the creation of Spider-Man and Dr. Strange, Ditko established a reputation as an artist of monster comics. Perhaps his two most famous contributions derived from the creative and financially disastrous 1961 UK films Gorgo and Konga. Charlton Comics obtained the rights to both properties and assigned writer Joe Gill and artist Ditko as the primary creative teams. The monsters proved moderately popular with Gorgo lasting 26 issues in three different series and Konga 27 in three. Craig Yoe recently collected these adventures in two massive hardback volumes from IDW: Steve Ditko’s Monsters, Vol. 1: Gorgo and Steve Ditko’s Monsters, Vol. 2: Konga. Given my predilection for apes, the latter attracted my attention.
The massive volume collects all of Ditko’s Konga tales, which play much better than the dreadful Michael Gough-fronted movie. The highly-regarded Gough’s career survived the encounter as he went on to well-remembered roles in Doctor Who, The Avengers, and most famously in the US as Alfred in Tim Burton’s Batman films.
The uneven Ditko art flashes some true signs of brilliance especially in regards to storytelling and Konga’s emotional state. The underrated Gill expertly relies on Ditko’s abilities, rarely relating the ape’s feelings through captions. As the stories progress, the synergy between the pair increases as does the quality of Ditko’s work. Unlike most Charlton titles of the time, Konga enjoyed a continuity between issues. Sadly, probably due the vagaries of newsstand and the perceived youth of the readership, Ditko and Gill felt the need to spend 2-4 pages per issue recapping events.
We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves
by Karen Joy Fowler
Promo copy:
Rosemary’s young, just at college, and she’s decided not to tell anyone a thing about her family. So we’re not going to tell you too much either: you’ll have to find out for yourselves what it is that makes her unhappy family unlike any other. Rosemary is now an only child, but she used to have a sister the same age as her, and an older brother. Both are now gone – vanished from her life. There’s something unique about Rosemary’s sister, Fern. So now she’s telling her story; a looping narrative that begins towards the end, and then goes back to the beginning. Twice. It’s funny, clever, intimate, honest, analytical and swirling with ideas that will come back to bite you. We hope you enjoy it, and if, when you’re telling a friend about it, you do decide to spill the beans about Fern, don’t feel bad. It’s pretty hard to resist.
The amazing Fowler does it again with a fascinating protagonist that will be of particular interest to ape fans.
The Ape Man’s Brother Among the Anthropophagai!
by Joe R. Lansdale by Bill Crider
A pair of extraordinary ape-centric tales that emerged from a writer’s challenge issued by Lansdale at the 2012 Armadillocon. This ebook duo would be a welcome addition to any ape fan’s e-reader.
Planet of the Apes: 5 Film Collection [Blu-ray]
Plant of the Apes spawned four sequels, a television series, an animated series, action figures, books, comic books, a subpar 2001 remake, a fantastic 2011 prequel/reboot, and many Simpsons parodies. A dystopian reflection of American society in the 1960s, real strength is the brilliant Michael Wilson and Rod Serling script, which was loosely based on Pierre Boulle’s Swiftian satire La Planete des Signes (Monkey Planet). The most original shock-ending of all time cements this movie’s place in film history.
This Blu-ray set contains the original five films including 2 versions each of Conquest and Battle as well as numerous extras. Sure this came out in 2011 but at $19.96, the compilation is a steal! With the extra cash, you could toss in the two disc Blu-ray of Rise of the Planet of the Apes and make the apes fan in your life very happy.
Bossa Nova Prime 8 Gorrilla Robot
Promo copy:
The fastest bi-ped robot with character and attitude. You command Prime-8 using the ergomomic remote control handset. Test your skills and him in turbo mode or try one of his five action games. Launches rubber darts at intruders when guarding your room. Moves around the room and avoids obstacles in automonomous mode. Includes, Prime-8 robot, remote controller, two launchers, two rubber darts. He can be your friend and your protector. He can change from a good gorilla to a mad gorilla that goes bananas. You can also play games with two or more Prime-8’s at once.
Features include:
•The fastest toy robot ever introduced with prime-8 runs on his bi-ped arms
•Built in character and personality
•You can play up to 5 action games with Prime-8
•Prime-8 is fully programmable to do your own tricks
•Prime-8 responds to you and to the environment depending on his personality which you can change at any time
This actually came out in 2009 but is largely unknown to the casual simian fan. I covered the original release for Geek Dad:
On July 9, Bossa Nova Robotics unveiled the initial two releases from their line of “personal entertainment” robotics. Prime-8, further evidence of author Chris Roberson’s insightful axiom that “everything is improved by the judicious application of primates,” hits the market first. Unlike previous toy robots, the 12” tall, yellow ape uses specially-designed robotic arms and legs to “knuckle-run” at high speeds. The gorilla’s personality transforms from serene, friendly, and blue-eyed to a crazy, beating the floor, roaring simian. When he gets really pissed off, the ape rips a loud, obnoxious fart. In “Guard” mode he shoots rubber tipped missiles at intruders (perfect against little sisters). The robot receives commands through a video-game style remote. Two users can even engage their individual ‘bots in combat! Intended for ages 8-12, the Prime-8 retails for $99.99.
Prime-8 promises to thrill all ape fans of any age.
And of course the one gift that everyone, regardless of their simian-leanings, should get:
The Apes of Wrath
I could go on and on touting this one, but I’ll let the reviews speak for themselves.
“Impressive…a powerful exploration of the blurry line between animal and human.”
–Publishers Weekly, starred review
“These are all fine additions to any fantasy lover’s library…. Climb up into your tree, peel a banana, and enjoy the treats herein.”
—Sci Fi Magazine
“Aficionados of apes in literature and film should enjoy this gathering of new and old stories.”
—Library Journal
“An eclectic, enjoyable mix of fiction and nonfiction…”
—SF Signal
The t-shirt or hoody that originally contained the striking Alex Solis cover image makes the perfect gift alongside The Apes of Wrath (or separately if that special someone already has a copy of the book). But be warned, these beauties go fast, so your mileage may vary.
I hope my little gift guide helps you find the perfect gift for the often misunderstood and maligned simian lover.
Happy holidays to all!