Over the past couple of months, I’ve had several discussions with first time authors about their first book signings. After some twenty years of working in bookstores and producing my own works, I’ve accumulated a lot of info and opinions on the subject.

Back in 2000, I devoted two of my "Geeks With Books" columns to the subject of bookstore signings, one for authors and the other for booksellers. Neither of the columns are currently available online but were reprinted in my collection Geek Confidential. Since this subject has come up recently, I thought I’d reprint the articles. The author one today and the bookseller piece in the near future.

As I reviewed the essay I was surprised to discover that even with all the changes in publishing over the past ten years (ebooks, etc), these guidelines still apply to author appearances.

Don’t Make Me Call You Mama

After many false starts, the talented Mark London Williams recently published his first novel. Mark is an award winning playwright, acclaimed journalist, and a part-time comic book scripter. To his already impressive resume he can now add young adult novelist with Danger Boy: Ancient Fire, a rollicking time travel adventure that introduced the world to its eponymous hero.

Mark planned on promoting his book by attending several signings (including one at Book People), and so weeks before the book came out, he and I discussed signing etiquette. Mark had done many things but a signing was not one of them. Being the helpful, opinionated guy that I am, I came up with a few guidelines that I thought I’d share with the rest of the class.

1) Be pleasant to your fans. They are the ones who put the food on the table.

You would be amazed how many authors I have met that do not follow this simple creed. Fans have long memories. They always remember the assholes. Smile. Thank everyone who showed up. Be humble: you are never as important as the person who has come to see you. NEVER. I don’t care if you are Stephen King or even if you think you are. Without the readers you are NOTHING!

No writer typifies this better than Michael Moorcock. Most of you reading this column are well aware of this legendary writer. I have been lucky enough to host a half dozen or so of his events. Every single fan who comes and sees Moorcock goes away feeling like he has touched them in some way. He is pleasant to everyone. Always makes time to say hello and often some small talk. Moorcock feels if it is important enough for someone to come to his signing then it is his duty to treat this person with respect. He understands the creed.

2) Be pleasant to the booksellers. Remember they want to sell your book as bad as you do.

There is no call for being rude to the booksellers. No matter how much you think they screwed up your event or that they treat you like you are nothing special. (And let me tell you, after meeting like a zillion authors you realize that they all put their pants on one leg at a time.)
Booksellers have even longer memories than fans, and they are the ones that hopefully will be promoting your books. Happy bookseller = better sales.

At Book People almost every employee recognizes Neal Barrett, Jr. on sight. Why is that? It’s because Neal takes the time to greet everyone. To make the time to be pleasant to them. He is not above them. Neal is always willing and ready to sign books. No matter what kind of hurry he might be in. It doesn’t matter to him. He will stop and sign that book. And always with a smile. And the results? Neal Barrett, Jr. is one of the bestselling authors at Book People. And I don’t just mean genre. I mean over all. Neal being Neal makes everyone want to sell his books.

3) Don’t be angry if no one shows up, especially if the bookstore promoted your signing.

Bookstores are in the business of selling books and they will usually do everything in their power to do so. You can expect them to promote the event. What constitutes promotion? Well more than just a sign in the window is a good start. An author can expect a display of their most recent title and either an ad or a mailing. If the store has a newsletter, a mention there is expected as well. But sometimes all this doesn’t work.

Even successful writers have poor signings. The abovementioned Neal Barrett, Jr. is a fine example. Book People hosted an event for the paperback releases of Hereafter Gang and Interstate Dreams, and even though Barrett is one of the store’s bestselling authors, no one showed up. Not a soul. The books sold very well before and after the signing with Hereafter bouncing on and off the Book People bestseller list.

Stores cannot force people to come. And a poor turnout is not a reflection upon the author or the store. Almost every writer has a horror story about some poorly attended event. The best thing to do in this case is to thank the bookstore for having you and to sign as much inventory as they request. Signed books will often sell for weeks after the event. For whatever reason, some fans do not like to meet the author but love to have a signed book.

4) Don’t be too demanding.

There is a major author who has four pages of conditions for store appearances. Her demands include a table of a certain height, special cheese, special pens, and entertainment for the people in line. No matter how famous you are (or think you are), bookstores get real pissy about unreasonable requests. Four pages of demands is too much. Reasonable requests are just fine. Things like a place to sit, water, even a special type of soda are fine. Just keep this in mind: there is a fine line between eccentricity and insanity.

5) Be prepared to do more than sign.

The most popular authors are the ones who do more than sign. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. No one expects a multimedia show (though sometimes it’s nice). A simple reading and/or Q&A session will do.

Any of you out there ever been to a Joe R. Lansdale signing? If you have, I bet one of the key things you remember is Lansdale reading his marvelous stories with that thick East Texas accent of his. (For the uninitiated out there, Texas is sooooo big that we actually have regional accents. There is a difference between a East and West Texas fella.) Not only does he read from his latest work but he started taking requests. Even people who have all his books signed show up just to hear him read.

The single most important thing to remember is to behave the way your mother taught you. Don’t make us call your mom.

And how did Mark do? About 100 kids showed up and four months later his book continues to sell. He was gracious and friendly. Answered all the kids’ questions. Even did a little reading. In other words, he was GREAT. Mark has been invited back in October for the release of the second Danger Boy, Dino Sword.