The Geek Curmudgeon

Today is Joe R. Lansdale’s birthday. In celebration of this momentous occasion, I’m presenting for the very first time my previously unpublished analysis of Lansdale’s works. Originally commissioned for inclusion in the Subterranean Press limited edition of the 2004 short story collection Mad Dog Summer and Other Stories, “Breaking the Box” failed to make into the final volume for reasons that I can’t recall. Though we disagreed on a point or two, Joe was very pleased with the results.

I’m breaking the essay into two parts for easier reading, exactly as written in 2004. Who wouldn’t want Lansdale for two days instead of one?

Happy Birthday, Joe!

Breaking the Box:
An Analysis of the Writings of Joe R. Lansdale

Part I

by Rick Klaw

Joe R. Lansdale is a lot like Barbie. Well, minus the blonde hair and impossible measurements. Physically, he differs as far from the toy diva as possible It’s the way they both portray differing roles yet remain uniquely themselves that draws them together. Whether a princess, a doctor, a veterinarian, a tour guide, or just some blonde bimbo, Barbie is Barbie. Lansdale is like that. No matter what style or genre he writes in, you can always see the Lansdale. It doesn’t matter if he is wearing a polka dot bikini, or brandishing a large knife, once you’ve been introduced, there is no mistaking his work.

JRL’s “best of” collection High Cotton (2000) offers the finest examples. Most of the tales in the book span from 1986-1995, arguably Lansdale’s most productive and best short story period. The diverse stories in this book fail to fit neatly into preconceived categories. All the stories save one have appeared in other Lansdale collections.

One of Lansdale’s most significant stories, “Tight Little Stitches In a Dead Man’s Back” (1986) relates, through the journal entries of weapons maker Paul Marder, the story of one father’s guilt over his role in the death of his little girl and most everyone else. Marder helped to design the weapons of mass destruction that destroyed civilization one fateful day. He and his wife managed to escape and hide in a bunker with several other scientists. While in the bunker, Marder’s wife, who blamed him for their daughter’s death, began to painfully tattoo an image of their daughter on Marder’s back. After twenty years, the scientists emerged to a radically different world. Oceans dried up, debris scattered about, grey-green clouds floated lazily overhead, inedible whales lived on land, and mutated roses eat flesh. After most of the group are quickly killed by the mutant roses, Marder and his wife hide in an old, abandoned lighthouse. Theorizing that the roses might have trouble getting them in the still standing structure, Marder attempts to keep watch, but suddenly his wife died The roses outsmarted him. In typical science fiction fashion, Lansdale leaves us wondering about the fate of Marder.

Integral to many of Lansdale’s works, the punishment of child abusers and/or killers plays a significant role in Mucho Mojo, The Bottoms, A Fine Dark Line, and several other stories. If a child is hurt in Lansdale’s stories, there will be retribution. The father of two children, JRL loves them above everything else. Although uncommon in Lansdale’s novels and short stories, he does employ storytelling through journaling in most of his comic book work and in his Batman novel Captured By The Engines.

The first JRL’s story to garner serious critical notice, “Tight Little Stitches” proves that good science is not necessary for a quality science fiction story. This story marked a turning point in Lansdale’s career: where he evolved from writer to author.

Illustration by Fernando Ramirez for "Godzilla’s Twelve Step Program"

Again, science means little in “Godzilla’s Twelve Step Program” (1994), the humorous tale of a repentant Godzilla as he tries to work through the Twelve Steps to break his addiction to mayhem and to become a better being and a more productive member of society. Lansdale often divides his work into what he calls thinking and non-thinking pieces. Some stories are meant to just entertain while others are to entertain and educate. It’s not to say his non-thinkers don’t receive the same care and quality of writing as the thinkers, but that the purpose is different. “Tight Little Stitches”, a serious thinker, questions the morality of world destroying weapons and the responsibility of the creators of such weapons, while “Godzilla” relies more on fun with more serious elements (such as the relative effectiveness of twelve step programs and the merits of staying true to ones nature) interwoven within the funny bits. If “Godzilla’s Twelve Step Program” doesn’t make you chuckle, then Lansdale failed to do his job.

One of his more subtle stories, “Trains Not Taken” (1987), an alternate history of the Old West, presents a Japanese colonized American west coast. The entire story takes place on a train as Bill Hickock, clerk, and William Cody, diplomat, discuss how their lives might differ had they taken slightly different paths. “Trains Not Taken,” the first Lansdale story published in a literary ‘zine (RE:AL, Spring 1987). is an odd story since Lansdale rarely addresses regrets. Once the bed is made, it is made. There is no going back. Lansdale loves playing with “what ifs”, but mostly in a philosophical, historical context.

Another alternate western, “Letter from the South, Two Moons West Of Nacogdoches”(1986) is similar to “Trains Not Taken”, in that Lansdale uses a subtle approach. Through the voice of the character, he slowly reveals a world similar to, but indeed different from our own. In this reality, the Native Americans have defeated the Europeans. “Letter From the South” touches on Lansdale’s most pervasive topic: racism. Rare is the work that doesn’t discuss or at least mention this hot button issue. It is an integral part to every one of his novels and most of his short stories. This short, powerful tale has one of Lansdale’s most bittersweet and tragic endings.

Then there’s Bob. “Bob The Dinosaur Goes To Disneyland” (1989) is one of Lansdale’s most popular and oft reprinted stories. It’s the very odd tale of a blow up plastic dinosaur (literally) that wants to go to Disneyland. It covers another fairly common theme of Lansdale’s work: be careful what you wish for. The fate of Bob is nowhere near ominous, but the thread is there.

Splash illustration by Doug Potter from the "Bob The Dinosaur" comic adaptation

If Lansdale is thought to have a “typical” story, “The Pit” (1987) which opens High Cotton would fall squarely into it. Harry made the mistake of getting lost and allowing his car to break down in Morganstown. If only he hadn’t attempted that shortcut or at least checked his radiator. Now, six months later, he enters the pit to fight to the death with Big George. This yarn is full of things that would show up in later JRL stories. (The influence of the old Gold Medals is palpable here.) “The Pit” doesn’t flinch. Lansdale refuses to let the reader miss the ugly parts. He won’t let you cover your eyes. In this story, he manages to elicit reader sympathy for these two men that are forced to literally kick the crap out of each other. From the moment that Harry and Big George enter the pit, you know that one of them is going to die. Thankfully for the reader, Lansdale knows that as well. To have them both survive would be a cheat. He got the idea for this story from an article on dog fighting and a story that a friend told him about a black man in the fifties who was captured by the people of a small town and forced to pull a wagon around the town square. He was force fed axle grease on crackers. Lansdale heard that he finally escaped. I’m not sure whether this story is true, but I do know that the use of urban legend and modern folklore is a common source for Lansdale’s stories. Books like The Bottoms, The Nightrunners, and Captured By The Engines all draw from post-industrial legends. One of Lansdale’s most creative applications of urban legend is in Bad Chili when Leonard escapes from some racists by telling him that he is a scientist sent to stop the dreaded “Christmas Ants.” Giant flesh eating ants scare the bigots so much, that they allow “Dr. Pine” to leave and finish his research.

Lansdale would again be inspired by killer dogs in one of his most savage stories “Steel Valentine” (1989). Morley not only wants to kill Dennis for sleeping with his wife, but Morley wants revenge and more. Full of diabolical torture and even nastier things, “Steel Valentine” is an Alfred Hitchcock Presents story on steroids.

Perhaps Lansdale’s most famous use of a dog is in his classic horror tale, “Night They Missed the Horror Show.” (1988) If “Tight Little Stitches” marked the arrival of Lansdale the author, “Horror Show” introduced the world to the singular literary force that is Joe R. Lansdale. No one else could have written this story. This is the jackpot. It has all the Lansdale trademarks: racism, violence, humor, East Texas, good old boys, and fantastic storytelling. This taut, harrowing story has nary a wasted word or throwaway scene. It flows and jars all at once.

Storytelling is Lansdale’s greatest strength. His best stories have that feeling of JRL himself throwing his arm around your shoulders and saying, “Son, let me tell ya a story…” This skill is emphasized when Lansdale reads his own work. He speaks with a heavy East Texas accent, exactly the voice in which his stories are written. Once you have heard Lansdale read aloud, forevermore will you hear that voice in your head when you read his stories. This unique attribute endears Lansdale to many people. Lansdale fans (AKA the Cult of Joe) always refer to him as Joe. Never Mr. Lansdale. His natural writing talents invite the reader into his living room to pull up a chair and sit a spell. To the Cult, Lansdale is not just a writer, but a (twisted) member of the family.

I probably should take a moment here and discuss Lansdale’s use of the word “nigger”. The word is littered throughout most of his works. Sadly, East Texas happens to be one of the most racist places on the planet. Lansdale believes in a realistic, accurate representation, hence the use of the word “nigger.” It is only used by bigots (or the just plain stupid) and is meant to portray that racial ignorance.

“Night” is the tale of two bored high school football players, who skip the horror show at the local drive-in because the white woman in the movie sleeps with a “nigger.” The boys decide to tie a dead dog to their car and ride down some country roads with it. Along the way, they pick up the black quarterback (“He may be a nigger, but he’s our nigger.”) They encounter some rednecks in a trailer watching stag films. Then the shit hits the fan. This is a truly scary and suspenseful tale. It’s taught at many universities as the best horror short story from the 1980’s.

Illustration by Fernando Ramirez for "The Night They Missed the Horror Show"

Not surprisingly, boys getting into trouble is a plot device that Lansdale returns to time and again. It is central to many short stories and the novels The Nightrunners, A Fine Dark Line, and The Boar. What are the Hap & Leonard novels but two boys getting into trouble? While not as powerful as “Horror Show”, “Steppin’ Out Summer, ‘68" (1991) is still a quality story in its own right. Buddy and Jake sneak out to visit the woman whom they believe to be the town whore only to find all kinds of trouble, including an encounter with an alligator. Lansdale has recorded an entertaining audio version of the story.

“Dog, Cat, Baby” (1987) is a non-thinker and at two pages, a short one. This unusual story of the war between dogs, cats, and babies is charming and spooky all at the same moment. The dog plots to get rid of the new baby. As the dog makes his move, he is attacked and killed by the cat, who then turns his attention towards the baby. JRL conceived of this story soon after his son Keith was born, when he wondered what his pets thought of the new baby.

To be concluded…