The Dumbest of Them All

While enjoying the most recent Back Issue (#41, July 2009 "Red, White, and Blue" issue), I stumbled upon Alex Boney’s "Quality Time: Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters." While no fault of Boney, who crafted an entertaining and interesting piece, anything that mentions Black Condor’s origin is difficult to take seriously.

Boney writes:

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Black Condor, who first appeared in Crack Comics #1 (May 1940), probably has the most convoluted origin of all the Freedom Fighters. Penned by Kenneth Lewis (a pseudonym of Lou Fine), Black Condor was originally named Richard Grey, Jr. When Richard’s parents were murdered on an expedition to Mongolia, the orphaned infant was rescued by a mother condor who flew him back to her nest and raised him as one of her own children. After developing the ability to fly, Grey traveled to America, adopted the identity of murdered senator Thomas Wright (who conveniently looked exactly like Grey), and began fighting crime as the Black Condor.

Ugh.

This certainly wasn’t the first time I’ve encountered this origin, but somehow I always managed to block out the memory of it. Every time I relearn it, I am slammed once again with its absolute absurdity. Even when taking in to account an era of less sophisticated comic book tastes, this one ranks among the all time moronic ideas.

Don Markstein’s Toonopedia gives a more complete overview of Black Condor’s origin, including how he learned to speak and little more of why he became a hero.

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When he grew up, he fell in with an old religious hermit named Father Pierre, who taught him human language. Then Gali Kan killed the old hermit. He became a superhero, killed Gali Kan, then took off for western climes.

The entry also attempts to justify this ludicrous origin.

Quote:
The Condor’s origin story wasn’t too implausible, at least by superhero standards. His parents, Major Richard Grey and his unnamed wife, had been traveling through Outer Mongolia on an archaeological expedition, when they were set upon by Gali Kan and his bandit crew. By the time the raiders were finished, only the baby, "Little Dick" as Mom had called him, was left alive. The child was rescued by a condor (never seen outside of zoos in that part of the world, except, apparently, in comic books), who raised him alongside her own chicks. At first, the man-child was hard pressed to keep up with his foster siblings, who found no difficulty in learning how to fly; but by "studying the movement of wings, the body motions, air currents, balance and levitation", he eventually got the hang of it.

What the heck, isn’t that how Tarzan learned to swing through trees like a six-pound monkey? If it’s any consolation, in his modern incarnations, he’s been retconned into a mutant.

Nope. Still not buying it.

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