{"id":147,"date":"2006-11-01T00:33:50","date_gmt":"2006-11-01T00:33:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/dharma\/2006\/11\/01\/fuck-you-giant-talking-mm\/"},"modified":"2006-11-01T00:33:50","modified_gmt":"2006-11-01T00:33:50","slug":"fuck-you-giant-talking-mm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revolutionsf.com\/revblogs\/dharma\/2006\/11\/01\/fuck-you-giant-talking-mm\/","title":{"rendered":"Fuck you, giant talking M&M!"},"content":{"rendered":"

[<\/strong> \"Sick\" Mood:<\/strong> Sick ]<\/strong>
[<\/strong> Currently:<\/strong> Not eating any more candy ]<\/strong>
You know that part of Farenheit 451, where the firefighter’s wife has to get stomach pumped because she took too many mind numbing medications? Like, she took a pill, forgot that she took it, then took another pill, forgot that she took it, then took another pill, over and over again. Well, I did that, but replace the word "pill" with "several pounds of candy." I believe that I’m about to slip into a chococoma, the most delicious of all deadly ways to enduce unconsciousness.<\/p>\n

Oh, man, I had door duty this year, too. There’s going to be a lot of disappointed kids who won’t be getting tootsie rolls this year. And I’m on the second floor, too – that’s a lot of steps to scale for nothing. <\/p>\n

Worst of all, my hallucinations are mocking me. I nod off to sleep a little, and here comes that Goddamn sarcastic red M&amp;M, messing around on my laptop, deleting my porn and laughing. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find futanari in English? Bastard.<\/p>\n

I need to friggin barf already, but the candies are happy where they are. All that Mr. Goodbar is really going to leave a stain on the toilet bowl. I am an orbital poop rail gun, waiting to be hijacked by terrorists in space, and tested on some camp site in the middle of nowhere as a show of force to the president. That could’ve been Washington, Mr. President! Do something! Yes, I’m watching a Steven Seagal movie.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Seriously, screw that guy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[  Mood: Sick ][ Currently: Not eating any more candy ]You know that part of Farenheit 451, where the firefighter’s wife has to get stomach pumped because she took too many mind numbing medications? Like, she took a pill, forgot that she … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-147","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n\t\n\t\n