Order of the Stick is supposed to update today. It hasn’t updated yet. Hurry up, damnit! I want to know what happens next! I needs my fix of the stick! Will Roy finally kill Miko? Is Belkar capable of killing again? What about Xylon? Is Haley pregnant yet? This Hinjo guy – will he betray them all? Is Varsuuvius a dude or a chick? What happened to that fatty that Durkon plowed? Gah! Imma go do a myspace quiz! To pass the time!

UPDATE: HE DID IT! Ahhhhhhh. Closure. Relief. But now I have to wait another two days for the next page of the comic! Damn you, tedious online comic release format! I’m bummed out now. THE CHEEEEEEAT! Bring me some potate! And a blankey.

Holy crap, that was the most fun I’ve had getting drunk and humping a girl dressed as a sexy penguin this week.

ORLANDO, JUMP AWN IT, JUMP AWN IT, JUMP AWN IT!

That’s as Sir Mix-A-Lot as I get.

I come from four hours of partying, as apparently there was a "Super Bowl" today. Something about bears and horses fighting so we drink beers and drunk drive home. While enjoying the bosoms of a Julie Andrews impersonator pummeling me into a light coma, it was brought to my attention that Jess Fink is a great artist. I was also reconnected to my love Fantastic Plastic Machine and Bruce Haack.

Who is Bruce Haack? What is a Fantastic Plastic Machine? I tell you now!

Bruce Haack is a man who composed a series of poems and songs that are thought to have given birth to synth pop and modern techno. He is most notable for several appearances on Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, along with his partner, Esther Nelson. While Bruce used several home made devices to give himself a sort of robotic twang in his music, Esther’s voice was crazy all by itself. The cadence of his performance makes you feel like you’re tumbling down a hill with him. He often rhymed words with the same word over and over again, and spoke on drum beats so you would have no choice but to go along with whatever he said.

I’m Ms. Nelson, how are you?
I’m here to sing and dance with you!
My name is Bruce, I’m feeling great,
You can join the party, have some birthday cake!
So if you want to know what to do,
And if you want to join us, too
Your mom says that a thing to do
IS DANCING! Children, clap your hands!

Bruce was a social shut in due to being abused as a child, and lived a hard life of alcoholism and depression. Like all of my heroes, except for William Shatner, Bruce died before he got too old to be cool, clocking in at around 57 in 1988 due to heart failure.

Fantastic Plastic Machine is actually the pseudonym of a rotund Japanese man who remixed some samples of Bruce’s music and took part in a documentary about it. If you want to hear the spirit of all of Bruce’s work in his less than sixty years on this Earth, that’s the only song you need to hear. FPM’s other music sounds like it was contemporary in the early 60s, which makes it fun for white people to move to. Oh, hey, there’s a penguin at my door…

Its tough to pretend to be insane and get a girlfriend. Then again, how do I know if I’m pretending or not? Maybe that’s what crazy people do, they just act weird as a practical joke on the rest of us; or is that, "the rest of you?" Maybe seemingly normal people just pretend to be sane, and really, they’re the ones that are crazy. Just as maladjusted and discontent as the rest of the world, but they can’t have fun like everyone else. Maybe they’ve got exactly the wrong idea.

Oh, how many girls have slinked off on me after I randomly started dancing in public to music only I could hear… or after I had an entire conversation with a potted plant about how I arrange my shoes upside down to hide embarassing foot odors in front of them, ignoring them all the while… or after I cover one eye with my hand and start sneaking around the room, discreetly chasing after my eternally rolling missing eyeball while mumbling like a drunken Popeye… Its not easy being me.

This is me, in my head.

However, there is hope for myself and Mini-Me. For every ten times that I do something weird while off on a date, WHICH I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER, MOTHER, one time there will be a crazy girl who will start helping me chase my eyeball. My favorite moment on a date, so far, has been when a girl and I erupted into a 1920s jazz dance number in the middle of downtown Bakersfield, California, to a very loud, very long radio jingle for a local bail bondsman/state certified unitarian minister who was running for board of county commissions. We had no audience, we had an empty street – it was 3 AM on the white side of town, and except for a local teenage band that was desperately trying to become KoRN, there was not a bright spot to the city except for us. It was twelve minutes of intense cardio that included and was not limited to the Batusi, the Macarena, a high speed hand jive, and then a race between the Rodger Rabbit versus the Moonwalk from one end of the block to the other. That’s right, I may yet contribute to the gene pool. Watch your future end.

Dramatic recreation of that night.

Another great memory was on a beautiful Halloween night, wherein I was dressed as a mime. I love face paint, I carry some around with me where ever I go. Its makes your face a canvus and the crayons and hairspray into a mobile mask. I fell in love with a beautiful kitty-clown at a party that night. She was wearing a hideous orange and green smock that went down just a little bit lower than her hips, Cheshire cat underwear, and one of those a poofy purple ruffle thing around her neck. Cute little black cat ears, and whiskers and nose painted on. She mimed pouring her drink down my pants while I was busy trying to get my hand away from the invisible monster who lived between a pair of couch cushions, and things just went on from there. And we told eachother corny jokes and did prat falls and set my bowler hat on fire and threw it at some kids and it was an amazing evening and I never saw her again after that night but I left streaks of white make up on her cheeks, neck and breasts.

Dream girl

Another one. She’s a scared little mouse, raised to be aware of her shame constantly and to stay quiet and be angry at the world. She looked to my friend down the hall in my dorm as a councilor, and he was so certain that she had a crush on him even though he was engaged. It was funny, but she had a crush on me. She’d come over to my room while I was drunk from the night before and lying around in my underwear, hair poofed into a manfro, demanding an escort to Blockbuster or something equally mundane. Each time she’d tell me about crushes she had on cartoon characters like Inuyasha, or Beast Boy from the Teen Titans. I’d laugh and laugh, and she’d wait until my guard was down to ask me questions about why I seem so reclusive, why I’m always telling jokes, asking what my real name was, where I was really from, where I’ve been, and, the things that I’ve seen, the people I’ve met, what my aspirations are. It was weird, because I try to turn that stuff around in basic conversation, always thinking that, unless I’m blogging, I shouldn’t talk about myself.

It’s rude.

I didn’t have a lot of answers for her, anyway. So one night, she had a nightmare and came looking for her councilor. He’s busy screwing his girlfriend, so she comes to see me and I ask her to go for a walk with me. She’s never danced before. You don’t dance? No, just, in my room, by myself… Well, come on, beautiful, I know exactly where we should go. Wait, should I change? No, you look fine. Where are we going? Doesn’t matter, we don’t know anybody there.

We hang a right when we get outside and end up at a fraternity party. AW, SKEET SKEET SKEET, MOTHERFUCKER! You know that song? That’s our song. We danced together amid every cultural heritage America has to offer, I even got her to grind on me. I picked her up and slammed her in my lap, turned her upside down, threw her over my shoulder and buzzed right on her belly button. She was in love. I invited her out the next night to go see a movie – Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. She’s wearing a bluejean jacket and cute stretchy pants, I’m wearing a Star Trek original series security uniform. Yeah, I was so skeptical about how the night would end, I wore the red shirt. There are some slow parts in the movie, so I reach under her shirt and tickle side. I go directly back to eating popcorn while she stifles tortured giggles in a very sensitive crowd dedicated to hanging on to every word of this, the final Star Wars movie ever. She returns fire, and I did not expect it. My five dollar cup of Sprite goes flying at the screen, and I think Jar Jar was doing something at the time, so my actions were forgiven. Bam, right in the armpit. This girl plays dirty, so I decided to play as well. I put my nose right in her armpit and breathed in hard, she freaks out and starts squealing. We proceed to have a tickle fight right up to the point that Padme croaks. She sniffs and lets out a single tear, and I’m the big strong arm she needs to sniffle into.

She’s still in California. I may have a wait to get back into the gene pool yet. Goddamn wild oats.

[ Currently: CRANKY ]
Call of Duty 3

This game, like real warfare, is a chore to play that will often make you feel like there is no hope of winning, cut down your morale constantly, and make you feel like stabbing yourself in the knee, just so you’ll feel something other than frustration. War is not a game, it is hard work. So is this game. It is not fun.

While earlier Call of Duty titles were bloomed with patriotism and had interjections by real veterans telling their stories of dead friends and lost limbs to pull on your heart strings, Call of Duty 3 is a light character piece. It feels more like a weak WWII movie that was shot after John Wayne died than a deeply emotional first person look into what World War II was, why our grandparents and great grandparents had to fight, and how every single man’s death was a tremendous tragedy, not only to their comrades, but to the family and community they had left across the Atlantic to do their duty for their country. Your comrades have their own personalities and identities, but there is no emotional attachment to them because the game is a constantly oppressing series of assaults. Your fellow soldiers are a lump of pixels that get in front of your shots occasionally, not a human being and fellow American/Pole/Canadian/Brit whose life you want to help preserve.

As a mindless FPS that focuses heavily on stop and pop elements to get through the level, Call of Duty 3 is a meager portion of more of the same. As a historic testament to a great and dying generation, it is a total failure.

X-Men: The Official Game

I did not finish this game. That’s how bad it was. They spent all of their money getting Alan Cummings, Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart and John P. Guywhoplaysbobbydrake to do voice acting on this game, and skipped out on cinematics, a storyline, and gameplay. This is a tedious and unrewarding game that represents everything that is wrong with licensed games. Another strike for Marvel’s games division, which not long ago kept cranking out great games, like The Punisher and The Incredible Hulk. Now, it can’t get a truly good game out to save its life.

Stubbs the Zombie

Just as Conker’s Bad Fur Day before it, Stubbs is a genius and beautiful game that took full advantage of the hardware it came out on – just before it died. Considering that this game was made for the original X-Box, it’s a little more salt in the wound that it looks a lot better than X-Men: The Official Game. The gameplay mechanics are a little tedious, and basically boil down to striking an enemy twice and then eating their brain. But its a lot of fun to create an army of undead to just unleash upon all of your enemies – particularly during one segment of the game which is nice and wide open, and as you steadily amass fellow zombies from the corpses of your fallen foes, they sort of go off to do their own thing and you get to watch as your legion multiplies exponentially.

The game falls apart when it comes to a story. There really is no hint at who Stubbs is, how he died, and why he crawled out of the ground until the final chapters of the game, and the end of the game? Well, it isn’t very satisfying. Until that final hour, it just seems like a mindlessly violent parody of 1950s American drive in movies. And disgusting, too – Stubbs has a sizeable shotgun wound in his left side, and you can see some decaying organs bouncing around inside him throughout the entire game. On the plus side of the campy 50s angle they took on, there are some great updated classics of some old pop tunes, especially the new "My Boyfriend’s Back" and "Lollipop." Hearing them every once in a while throughout the game is a great reminder as to how the generation after Call of Duty 3’s contributed to good ol’ all American rock and roll.

Unfortunately, Stubbs is way too short to merit a purchase, and has no enticements for a second or third play through. It is still a great rental, especially if you have a friend to play co-op with. Or if you just want to see a zombie eat Fonzie’s brain.

Order of the Stick is a great webcomic. I really enjoy it, and I really appreciate how great Rich Burlew is at creating cliff hangers. HOWEVER, there are a lot of angry forums on the internet, and Giant in the Playground’s forum is one that I’ve been targeting for a while. See, often times, I like to go into character and post on forums with the explicit intent to annoy and anger people I hate. And there was a lot to hate here. Rabid fanboys, people who stay in their RP character at all times, people who type English with a European accent ("top’ o ther mernin’ tuh ye, laddy!"), and the ever popular mightier-than-thous forum veterans.

That said, here is how I chose to piss them off. Well, actually, it’s part two of my Order of the Stick fan fiction, which unfortunately never saw the light of day. I’d have part one as well, but they’re surprisingly quick on that "delete thread" button over there. The first three names are those of the first three people who lashed out at the story – I had planned to continue killing off my "enemies" in the story until the thread got closed.

Not any more. One forum down, about a hundred thousand more to go. Next on the radar: The official Sci-Fi Channel forums.

[  Mood: Happy ]
[  Currently: Working …not! ]
Crackdown

The cover art on the box, the screen shots, and the developers had me believing that Crackdown would be yet another super violent cop-killing game wherein the protagonist would be a mouthy african american youth with a hankering to smack some ho’s shortly after tapping their asses. Now, not to get off on a tangent about violence in video games, because I hate cops just as much as the next man, but after games like 25 to Life, Fiddy Cent: The Videogame, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and Saint’s Row, I’m kind of sick of hearing the word "nigger" once a minute. Its just offensive to my virgin ears, and cheesy to my blaxploitation fan ears. Richard Pryor would not approve.

So I downloaded the newly released demo of Crackdown, rolled my eyes, and braced myself for a mindless run and gun with the words "shit," "fucked," "ass," "nigger," "nigga," "motherfucking," and "shitcock" interjected randomly and liberally into the gameplay. Maybe they’d even be combined into fun sentences like, "I’m gonna gat yo nigga ass like I fucked yo motherfucking nigger mama up the ass with my shitcock." Did Crackdown sucked as badly as I worried?

Fortunately, no! It turns out that the game’s protagonist is a *very* silent product of genetic manipulation that can be easily and efficiently cloned. You start off as a slightly stronger, faster and uglier human being and slowly work your way up to hulking superhero. Your character physically transforms based on what actions you take as you progress in your mission. If you do a lot of running and jumping, he becomes sleek and slender. If you do a lot of melee attacks and pick up heavy things and throw them at people, your character becomes the friggin Hulk. There are also upgrades for driving and shooting, but I haven’t noticed if that changes anything with the character model. Its also nice that you have a number of choices for your character’s face, as I hate the default selection (above).

The violence is over the top, but its a lot of fun. Everything about the game has a very comic book feel that doesn’t come through in the screen shots. Lots of cell shaded textures and tall buildings – the city is like a DC version of LA. That means a lot of traffic congestion in what is supposed to be an open world game, but once you get a few speed augmentations, its a lot of fun to hop thirty yards from block to block while raining bullets down on top of your enemies.

The storyline seems pretty generic, but unlike with Lost Cause, it doesn’t get in the way of enjoying the game. There’s no crappy voice acting or cheesy lines because there’s barely any voice acting at all. You’re told your mission is to blow the crap out of the city and then you’re sent on your way. This just might be a buy, especially if I can get one of the limited edition boxes that lets folks in on the Halo 3 beta.

Star Trek Legacy

I read on trektoday.com that a lot of the story had gotten cut from the game due to budget constraints, including a lot of voice work by Avery Brooks. This is incredibly unfortunate, as the game would’ve been even better if they’d been in it more.

After I got past the Enterprise era stages and banished Captain Archer back to the pit of Braga’s despair where he belongs, I heard an unmistakable voice. Captain James Tiberius Kirk. I have to admit, I’m such a geek, I cried a little inside, even though I’ve seen Shatner left and right in other shows on primetime TV ever since his career got off the ground again on Boston Legal. I really missed the character – all the bravado and deep drama. His missions take up a significant portion of the game, and commanding both the 1701 and the 1701-A was a thrill.

What was not so much a thrill is how frustratingly incompetent the friendly A.I. is. They don’t know what to do unless you gently guide them by the hand every step of the way. The combat is also slow and clunky, as it should be. I was really surprised to find that the Intrepid Class (Voyager) starship controlled very nimbly, and could do circles around larger capital ships, like the Sovereign (Enterprise-E). My geek knowledge expanded. The save system also sucks – if you die at the end of a twenty minute mission, you have to relive the last twenty minutes of your life all over again. Not fun.

The storyline can only be pieced together if you come into it already with a significant depth of Star Trek knowledge. So, I’m going to spoil it in case you don’t care. Basically, a rogue Vulcan uses her background in disease theory to attempt to infect the universe with a kind of logic virus, that would eliminate all emotions and make all sentient species more Vulcan-like. When this fails, she attempts to take over as Borg Queen, being personally infected by Locutus, Captain Picard. Its up to Captains Archer, Kirk, Picard, Janeway, and whatever rank Sisko is, to head her off through time. Archer stirs up the bees nest, Kirk kicks her ass, and Picard finishes the job.

I recommend this game for Trekkies only. Trekkers need not apply.

Viva Pinata

Much like Slurm, it’s highly addictive. Raising and developing species of pinatas is an epic task that is ultimately fun. Its especially fun if, like me, you have to skip a few meals in order to be able to afford a new videogame console, and suddenly you can purchase thousands of dollars in merchandise with a successful ranching business.

The AI is not intelligent, it is purposefully difficult. Animals deliberately disobey you to encourage you to punish them by whacking them with a shovel. Fights will break out, animals will die, and the circle of life is blatant in every interaction. Flies crap if you feed them, the animals have to have sex via a maze mini-game in order to procreate, and every once in a while, some asshole will come over and kill something at random. This is a great game to teach children the harsh realities of life and the benefits of spending money like a…

And that’s how, as they say in the stand up comedy business, we come full circle.

KNIFE HAND FORWARD! SHANK AND WEAVE!

[  Mood: Sick ]
[ Currently: in ur base kiling ur mans ]
William "Tiberius" Shatner. Patrick "I’ve Seen Everything" Stewart. Kate "Tracheaotomy" Mulgrew. Benjamin Sisko. Quantum Leapman. Should their powers combine, geek society should implode in a series of girlish squeals and waves of joy should wash across humanity like the moon would create waves of death and destruction if it ever forgot what it was doing for a minute. Yes? Almost.

Too soon?

I did scream like a girl when I got the game. But the joy part, that’s, eh… Harder to come by. The game progresses chronologically, with the Captain that Bleeds kicking off a vague, two hundred year catastrophe that he could’ve easily prevented, but didn’t, which is exactly how the Enterprise writers would have handled things in seasons one through two. I assume that Captain Kirk will be kicking this problem’s ass into the next generation, and then I can pretend to give a damn about the friggin’ Voyager until Ben Sisko shows up and slaps Q, in a no-love kind of way, until the problem is solved. However, the shitty save function is not allowing me to progress past Captain McDidn’tBangT’Pol "we’re still worried about transporter technology, anyeuh" crapfest.

I’d give her "cunning" score at least a 9. She’s been in Maxim.

And the soundtrack is deceptive. Combat is lumbering, slow and boring. This is not Wolf 359, this is more like, "We ran over budget on Species 8472 effects again and have to use stock footage of the Voyager passing a blue moon." The dramatic music, however, makes you think you’re in an X-Wing, beating the crap out of the Death Star. Not so! The NX-01 steers like a friggin space cow. I’m also not impressed with its fire power. You really need to be in four places at once to be able to handle those pesky Romulan bastards, and given, it helps that you can take command of up to four ships at once. Problem here is: The controls to keep all four of your ships in line are kinda something you have to guess at and check on. The Coto (teehee) will stand dead in the middle of space and observe a vessel full of doctors on a mission of mercy gets pulverized by disruptors, probably while the crew is synthesizing popcorn and simuhol to prepare for the big explosion that sends me reeling back to the start of a twenty-two minute mission.

Traitors.

This game, much like the past decade and a half for the entire Star Trek franchise, punishes the fans for their loyalty. Thank God that I rented this pile, so I wouldn’t be tempted to sodomize the hole in the DVD out of spite. Maybe I’ll do that, anyway! That ought to teach the next person not to rent games over the internet.

There’s a burning crusade in my pants.

Oh, yeah. I found out how to cure neck pain.

[  Mood: Very Sad ]
So I woke up, cracked my neck, and it stayed cracked. Ow. Ow. Ow. How do I fix this? I’ve gotten loaded up on every medication I have in the house, nothing’s helping. I can’t turn my head to the left. That’s really inconvenient! There’s a lot of things to the left that I want to see! This seriously hurts! OW!

[  Mood: Fed Up WIth Life ]
These are the games I currently have collected for the 360, and a quick blurb about each one, minus a couple I just rented.

Battle for Middle-Earth II
Tom Bombadil saves Gloin’s ass on several occasions. Sauron loses. Buy an HDTV or don’t play this game.

Burnout Revenge
This is the only good racing series ever made. It rewards you for crashing instead of forcing you to oversteer around crappily designed tracks with bad controls. A great game to get girls into gaming with, as the fact that you suck at it is advantageous during gameplay.

Condemned: Criminal Origins
A suspenseful first person beat-em-up/adventure game. This format could be the direction that our beloved Grim Fandango and Full Throttle franchises take in the future. Most of the game, you’re plodding along condemned buildings, searching for various serial killers, waiting for a deranged hobo to pop out of a corner swinging a mannequin leg at you. You rarely have a fire arm, and when you do, it’s almost like you don’t want to use it. Like you want to save it for whatever big enemy is going to come at you in the future – but by the time that inevitably happens, you’re usually stuck wielding a piece of pipe in your hands. The melee combat was a lot of fun, and despite the packaging describing it as a survival-horror game, it really is more of a thinking man’s first person shooter. Especially if you’re a man who thinks about crushing in the right temple of an obese crazy lunch lady with a twenty-five pound sledge hammer.

Dead or Alive 4
Mediocre fighting game with CGI titties.

Dead or Alive Xtreme 2
Mediocre dating sim with CGI titties.

Dead Rising
When the game first starts, the difficulty curve is perfect, the innovation of picking up anything and using it as a weapon is fresh, the photo taking aspects are a fun gimmick… and then something happens. You realize it’s impossible to save, the friendly A.I. is borderline suicidal, the weapons don’t last, and the zombies easily overwhelm you every time you step out of the humble safety. And if you don’t have an HDTV, the game is unplayable, as reading the details of mission goals is not possible. A greatly promising title that turned out to be a great disappointment in the end.

Enchanted Arms
A gay Japanese RPG for gay Japanese people. Hilarious to the rest of us, as long as we don’t mind those goddamn random encounters.

F.E.A.R.
It came out on PC a year before it came out on the 360, but I enjoyed playing it with the controller a lot better. The slow mo effects are fun to play with, the melee attacks feel like they’re straight out of a Jet Li movie, and the arsenal and enemies make combat very satisfying. F.E.A.R. also played with some of the first body awareness structures, meaning you’d look down and see your character’s body move in a realistic way, instead of a weird shadow like your character was some kind of floating head. Great for a dumb shooter, but much like Condemned failed to scare me, so did this.

Gears of War
I really think this game is overhyped. Its a lot of fun, and the controls are tight, and the graphics are great, but its gotten at least three Game of the Year awards. I don’t think its quite *that* good. I think this is a case of "hey hey hey look at the shiny thing that came out at the end of the year forget the other stuff give it awards" syndrome hitting a lot of big media reviewers. The game actually had a really crappy difficulty curve, the weapons aren’t balanced at all, the game is full of gonzo glitches, and the soundtrack is shit, basically. There’s a lot to love here, particularly with co-op mode, but there’s also a lot to hate.

Hitman: Blood Money
This franchise is sort of love it or hate it. Poor level design and glitch heavy gameplay combined with highly suspect A.I. have limited the game’s fan base, but the members of said fan base will tell you: This is one cool game. 47 returns once again to cause havok in the United States, previously having been restricted to the middle east and europe. Ironically, even though he’s now in America, most of his adversaries are foreign nationals – a German white supremicist, a Colombian drug king, an Uzbekistani oil baron. European developers only know the American character from stereotypes in American films, and as some of the only American villains are archetypes of Colonel Sanders and Hugh Hefner. Good gameplay nonetheless, but it doesn’t last or remain interesting for nearly as long as it should have.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider: Legend
This game is kind of full of itself. It isn’t particularly good, but it expects you to break your back trying to get all of the secrets and easter eggs. The time trials require hours of attempts, and is absolutely not worth it. The story wasn’t very good, Lara Croft continues to be a frigid bitch, and I still don’t answer the sex appeal. As usual, the camera is crap, and the combat is so unrealistic it borders on comical. Not a very good game, and it stinks of the skeletal save system for the PS2 version. Autosave is not next gen, it should be a given!

Lego Star Wars II
Like smoking crack with a joystick. An excellent game, all around.

Marvel: Ultimate Alliance
Alternate between hitting the a and b button! Choose from forty different skins for what is essentially the same character! Play through the same two marvel storylines they’ve been revisiting for the past thirty years! Get bored and toss the controller across the room while you make a beer run instead of playing this shitty over-hyped game!

Ninety-Nine Nights
An unforgiving Japanese beat ’em up game. While better than anything the Dynasty Warriors franchise has ever offered, a lot of the gameplay is unsatisfying, and the story is hard to follow.

Prey
This is what I’d choose as game of the year. Prey is a mind bending ballet of science fiction, ballet and death. It’s nice to have a reminder of why kids thought I was cool when my Cherokee grandfather showed up to school with a Jurassic Park lunch box. It wasn’t until later in life that they weren’t cooing over the lunch box. This was a great game with a touching, emotional story about loss, immortality, and crashing planet sized harvesters into the sun.

Quake 4
This was a piece of shit.

Splinter Cell: Double Agent
This could’ve been a movie just as easily as it was a game. Michael Ironside gives the performance of his career as Sam Fischer. Highly recommended for those who enjoy 24 or anything with the name Tom Clancy on it.

The Godfather
A lot of fun, but at its heart, its a poor GTA clone. The driving aspects could’ve used more scrutiny, as well as the difficulty curve. By the end of the game, no matter what armor or health upgrades you’ve made to your character, you die in just a few shots. That’s unacceptable in a game with a shitty camera system. Overall a skip.