[  Mood: In Love ]
[  Currently: Reading Marvel Zombies Vs. Army of Darkness ]
0800: I woke up.
0815: I’m showered and dressed.
0815-
0900: Operation Wake Up Female Unit commences.
0900-
0915: Recovered from titty twister, ate breakfast; note for future reference: Do not attempt to wake female unit before noon.
0930: We headed to the Magic Kingdom.
1000: Arrived, entered the gates. Muscled passed old people, fat people and children fairly efficiently, took pictures.

1010-
1040: Splash Mountain
1050: Recovered female unit from her fear of falling from tall heights, animatronic racist animals
1100: Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Only got whiplash a little. Wildest wide in the wilderness, indeed.
1115: Aladdin’s Flying Carpets. Fighting female unit for up and down control of carpet is futile, she is aware that the testicles can be hit for massive damage.
1145: Enchanted Tiki Room. Corny jokes ensued.
1220: Pirates of the Caribbean. "OH MY GAWD, ITS JOHNNY DEPP!"
1240: Dueled with Captain Hook.

1300: Snitched on Stitch to intergalactic authorities. Its for his own good. Stay strong, little man. Stay strong.
1400: Ate fish and chips at The Boston Harbour House.
1500: Parade.
1515: Hall of Presidents. People cheered and booed the robot presidents as their names were announced. I chimed in on Polk, that son of a bitch. We need more men like Andrew Jackson, goddamnit!
1545: Jungle Cruise. An exchange student from Vietnam lead us down a river, nobody understood anything she had to say.
1610: Country Bear Jamboree. I’m a completionist.
1640: Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, two times. I won.
1720: Monster’s Inc. live 3D animation puppet show. Good times. Could’ve used less Billy Crystal and more John Goodman, but what couldn’t?
1800: Tomorrowland Transit Authority. Reminded me of the drive down, only shorter. Note to self: Never let the female unit drive, ever.
1900: International Sloppy Make Out Hour.

2000: Mickey’s PhilHarmagic. 3D show wherein Donald Duck fucks shit up with the hat from the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. The old mainstay of spraying the audience with water and stink spray at 3D shows is bypassed for the first time since Captain Eo.
2030: I rode the carousel. Shut up.
2045: Train ride back to the front of Main Street.
2100: Parade
2130-
2150: Dragged female unit’s ass back to Frontier Land
2200: Ate dinner while watching the fireworks go off over the Liberty Bell outside. Turkey, ham, beef, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, salad, ice cream, water rolls, and macaroni and cheese – not in that order.
2240: Found Walt’s tomb.

2300: Bed.