[  Mood: Cool ]
[  Currently: Eating fried chicken. ]
My job makes my feet hurt. I stand around and walk for eight hours, occasionally stopping to take a picture with my super sexy Nikon D70. Yet every day, I can’t wait to get home and lie down on my dinner table/couch/inflatable air mattress and fall asleep. I’m sleepy, I’m losing weight, I’m out of energy and motivation. It’s time to stop making other people happy, and time to play some Gears of War while lying flat on my back.

So how the Hell does Leslie Hall dance around like that and still weigh two hundred pounds? She must just… eat, constantly. At 7-11. That is not a gut that has occurred naturally over time, much like the average beer gut or post-baby delivery gut. That is a gut that is maintained and cared for and loved. It is a genuine, beautiful, luxurious lady gut. Or she just has the worst metabolism in the world. But you know what? Either way, it works for her. There’s nothing funnier than a high energy fat chick. She’s like a living cartoon character and I’d punt a duck to go to one of her shows. But not just for the gem sweater rapping.

I also have a mega crush on DJ Dr. Laura.

Oh, yeah. Me likey the bad irish liberal arts major look. Come to Jackie-boy, it gives me the small b-cup cleavage. I want a foot massage with special happy ending.