Now that I’m somewhere beautiful, I often watch the sunrise and ponder philosophy. What will be left of me and my impact on society in twenty years? Will my generation be looked upon with admiration and nostalgia for having pioneered various social issues and having physically grappled with some of the most oppressive societies known to history? Or will it be looked at as a bunch of fucktards who catapulted Will & Grace to mass popularity and mostly died for no reason in the middle east? Well, thankfully, we now have "It’s Always Sunny" on FX, and a completely ineffective legislative branch stuck kneep deep in a quagmire of patriotism questioning mung, so the latter is, thankfully, more unlikely. Then again, there’s no stopping the Jack train.
There are multiple marks against we children of the eighties. Limp Bizkit. Myspace. The Clinton impeachment. The emo movement. Europe, the continent. But perhaps our gravest sin is the platitude of industrial pop bands who rhymed the word "school" and "fool" in the lyrics. I think 1 Plus 1 is the top offender with their cover of Joan Jett’s poignant crowing of "Hello, Daddy/Hello, Mom/I’m a ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!" The bastardization of a song that many of us were conceived to is absolutely unacceptable.
The eighties and nineties also gave rise to stand up comedy, especially that which analyzed the differences between black people and white people. This forged the way for the sitcom era, some good, some bad, some awesome, but mostly horrible. I personally apologize for being partly responsible. When I outgrew Nickelodeon, I watched shitty HBO stand up specials re-airing on Comedy Central in a heavily censored form.
There are some nice things we’ve done, mostly in making the internet a big deal. But still, sitting on the side of a mountain, watching the sun rise over Glacier National Park, I must defiantly throw down my breakfast beer and wonder what the future brings. Because if eep op orp ah ah doesn’t mean shit soon, the cartoons have been lying to us all along.
Mercedes. At any cost.
