Categories: Uncategorized

I wish I had my camera

As anyone who truly knows me will tell you, I leave a substantial wake of destruction and chaos everywhere I go. My recent stint in the local Comfort Inn was just one such example. It, however, provoked a great deal of outcry from the staff, and I am no longer welcome. Remember that scene from Dumb and Dumber where Lloyd performs the most annoying sound in the world? I am that incarnate for janitors, housekeepers and girlfriends. My deepest apologies to the elderly women whose weeping I caused. And don’t worry, it was just chocolate.

Super 8 knows not what dark destiny has fallen upon them. The lemony fresh scent I gallantly meandered into will soon have a permanent tinge of poo for the next guests. The sheets will have to be burned, the dresser will be filled with McDonald’s wrappers, and I’ll be damned if that coffee maker is going to make it out of here alive. And the things I’m gonna do to the air conditioner! HAHAHA! THE AIR CONDITIONER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAA!

admin

Share
Published by
admin

Recent Posts

Act V, Scene III

I haven't had material enough to update ye ol e-diary very consistently, or at least…

17 years ago

Sarcasomortomydia

Good thing we have all those strict zero tolerance gun laws on college campuses, or…

17 years ago

Gettin’ all political again

I've listened to this five times, and I crack up every single time. At least…

17 years ago

The Legend of Spyro: A New Beginning

If you're playing a game, and you're progressing through every level without wondering what to…

17 years ago

Hey, baby, maybe you should lose some Mass Effect.

"I live by two rules. One, never kill someone without a reason. Two, I can…

17 years ago

Conan the Guy Who Can’t Jump Very Well

Gather around those of you who would listen; I have a tale to tell. I…

17 years ago