[  Mood: Cool ]
The Death Star was named after Kyle Katarn’s right testicle.

The Second Death Star was named after his left testicle.

Ewoks are just leftovers from when Kyle Katarn trims his beard.

There is no Sith Order. Just a list of Sith that Kyle Katarn allows to live.

Super Star Destroyers were designed to fight the Moldy Crow.

Kyle isnt addicted to spice, spice is addicted to Kyle.

Kyle Katarn died in Dark Forces 1. The grim reaper is too scared to tell him.

Kyle Katarn visited the baby Obi-Wan Kenobi and gave him the gift of beard.

Hyperspace exists because it’s afraid to be in the same reality as Kyle Katarn

There is no chin behind Kyle Katarn’s beard, just another Bryar Pistol.

Kyle Katarn is the death sentence in twenty systems!

Kyle Katarn won at Dejarik without ever moving a piece. He simply ripped the arm off of the Wookiee that was playing against him.

Mustafar looks like it does because it’s people once ticked Kyle off.

Utapau is full of holes for the same reason.

The only reason Kyle Katarn agreed to the "reciprocal apprenticeship" with Mara Jade is because he thought it was a sexual position. Not long after so did she.

What do you get when you cross Kyle Katarn and Luke Skywalker? A dead farmboy. No man crosses Kyle Katarn.

Kyle Katarn doesn’t "sweat." He "produces midichlorians."

If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Kyle Katarn spared your life.

On a high school math test, Kyle Katarn put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Kyle Katarn solves all his problems with Violence.

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Kyle Katarn Disease."

Kyle Katarn’s tears are the purest and most powerful form of bacta in the galaxy. Too bad he never cries.

Kyle Katarn invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Corran Horn invented pink.

Evolution gave the Trandoshans the gift of limb-regeneration, because Kyle Katarn once lived on Trandosha.

Kyle Katarn named the group The Modal Nodes. They did not want to be called that.

The Sun Crusher was originally concieved as a humane alternative to Kyle Katarn.

When Kyle Katarn overheard Obi-Wan speak the words, "Only Imperial storm troopers are so precise," he laughed so hard that Alderaan exploded.

He then personally rebuilt Alderaan by hand, just to prove that the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant compared to the power of Kyle Katarn.

In the beginning there was nothing, then Kyle Katarn Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job." That is the story of the universe.