[  Mood: Hypnotized ]
Rosie O’Donnell has the jump on all of us. The woman is psychic. This aired the day before Anna Nicole Smith died. We have to act fast and burn this witch whose evil becomes reality.

I need to say these things in everyday conversation by 2/18, lest they lose their potency and have all the relevance of a hanging chad joke.

"I fathered Anna Nicole Smith’s baby."
"Before you start the car, buckle your seatbelt and adjust your diaper."
"I’M COLD!"
"Thanks, Greta."
"GET DOWN! Oh, its a lite brite. GET DOWN!"
"It’s legal to access porn in libraries. I’m going to a library."
"Hey, did you see American Idol last night? I did not."
"Giulianahmadinejongilintonobamamccainomania!"
"Wanna share a Snickers, dude?"
"I have to go home and let my roomba out of the closet before it freaks out tries to hang itself."
"If I don’t make it through Hannibal Rising, you guys can eat my body."