[  Mood: Confused ]
I was clicking around this site, looking for a deal on Astroboy DVD sets for my dad, when I noticed they had an adult section. I’m thinking, "Yeah, okay, hentai, I’m kinda passed that at this point in my life. Might as well, just to have something to make an obscure reference to at a later date."

Seriously. I got burned out on cartoon porn after dating a girl who loved it far more than I did – but she’d only watch it if it had the original Japanese voices. Apparently girls who both look and sound like they’re twelve getting tentacle raped turned her on. Not that I’m complaining, she was a freak in the bedroom and a… also a freak on the street, probably why that didn’t last.

After I got passed the idea of a Hello-Kitty vibrator and "girlfriend knee pillow," I stumble upon this mysterious, gellatenous device:

That, my friends, is not what it looks like. Unless you thought it was a pocket vagina, in which case, it’s exactly what it looks like. I am so very tempted to order one of these. Not for personal use, mind you, as it looks wrong and dangerous and disgusting. BUT it would be awesome to go digging around for my car keys, and whoosh, here comes the pocket vagina, straight into my best friend’s hand, "Hold this for a second, I need to get to my keys." "What’s this?" "Pocket vagina."

Or just leave it lying around in public. When I was a freshmen in High School, I was once so bored that I left a note on every fifth car in a grocery store parking lot that simply read, "Sorry about the ding." The desperation on people’s faces as they scanned their car up and down in every direction from every angle, the angst, the confusion, the pain, the laughter, the tears… They should have sent a poet.

Anyway, leaving a pocket vagina lying around in, say, a dentist’s office or on top of a public library computer’s keyboard, maybe with a note with an arrow pointing to it that simply said, "pocket vagina." I’d be busy for days, waiting to see if someone tried to pick it up and run off with it, or freak out, or sniff it, or Pan knows what.

What’s yen to dollars? Like one dollar = one Japanese grotto? Something like that… Or is that pesos…