Mawiage.

[ Mood: Hypnotized ]
[ Currently: Reading your mind. ]
It’s the weason we awe gathewed hewe, to-day.

Actually, I’m here today to tell Mr. Bey and the 411 other spammers who unsuccessfully comment on my blog about a faggy Japanese RPG I’ve been playing for the past several days. I bought Enchanted Arms, the game I complained about probably creating emo kids and fag hags, not because I was looking forward to playing it, but because I wanted to have something in common to talk about with a bunch of anime fans at my work.

I was partially dreading the experience, but its actually a pretty fun game. Not all good. I’m about three random encounters away from breaking the neck of the nearest kitten, but that’s nothing new. Lots of self deprecating Japanese humor, including a flaming gay guy who lisps, wears make up, and makes sexual advances on one of the main characters in an only slightly veiled way.

Can you spot the queer in this picture?

The awkwardness of having gay friends who find you attractive, I can relate to that. But I’m a very straight shooter. The day that I kill, have sex with and eat a man is never going to come. Sorry, boys. Maybe something magical yet horrible can happen at a full costume furry convention some day between you, me, a carpet cutter and a strategically placed hole, but I’m not a furry, so there go your chances.

I’m not all the way through the game, so I won’t elaborate for now, but I will say this negatively: The combat system is much akin to a big lump of dog crap presented to you on a chess board. It’s turn based, and kinda feels like that hologram game Chewbacca and R2 were playing on the Falcon, only boring, repetitive, and frustrating. You can move your pieces, trade party members out for a bunch of specialized replacements with varying attack radiuses and stat bonuses, but how many fucking creepy Japanese dolls can a person order to have the shit knocked out of them before they realize they have a really bad return on investment? An infinite number apparently, because I can barely go three steps without hitting a random encounter. Ah, well, at least the story is okay. For a faggy Japanese RPG, of course.

That said, I’ve been getting the creative juices flowing lately. I’m an okay arteest, and have been seriously thinking about starting an online web comic. I actual want to call iti that, "Faggy Japanese RPG," and map out a story line that’s sort of a parody of this, and just about every other Japanese RPG ever made. Something in the middle of Order of the Stick and SNAFU, with the storyline and the vulgarity. Still working on the story – maybe I’ll start posting it here once I get this link circulating? Hrum. Possibilities.

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