This list from ToyFare of the top 50 fictional weapons is, as expected, very comic book, (recent) film, and video game oriented. How else could you explain #18 Excalibur finishing higher than Dagger of Time (from Prince of Persia #17), Sword of Omens (from Thundercats #11), and He-Man’s Power Sword(#2!!!). Missing weapons that were apparently too cool for a list that put He-Man’s sword at #2(!) and Mr. Freeze’s Gun at #12 include:

Nautilus– Captain Nemo‘s legendary Victorian era nuclear submarine from Jules Verne’s Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea and Mysterious Island. Nemo and his sub recently returned to geek prominence in The League of Extraordinary Gentleman graphic novels.



Bolo– Artificially intelligent super-heavy tank from the Keith Laumer novels of the same name



Wonder Woman’s Magic Lasso– This is a no brainer. Not all weapons need to blow things up or draw blood.



Smart Bomb– The ultimate weapon that destroys everything on your video game screen, made its first appearance in the classic Defender. Shouldn’t the ultimate weapon be on a list touting itself as the Ultimate Weapon list?



Oxygen Destroyer– As any geek worth his/her salt will tell you, Godzilla died at the end of the original 1954 film. The Oxygen Destroyer completely dissolved the future “King of the Monsters.”



The Necronomicon– The legendary book, created by H. P. Lovecraft, holds the key to other dimensions and can grant a knowledgeable necromancer immense power for the mere price of their immortal soul. (I wrote a piece a few years back about this non-existent book)

I’m sure there are plenty of others. What do you have?

Top 50 ULTIMATE WEAPONS was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

[  Mood: Amused ]
[  Currently: Listening to CBC Radio One ]
Rick Mercer is Canada’s Jon Stewart, except he only does a show once a week. Every week he does a rant where he runs around downtown Toronto and pontificates on an issue of the day.

This week, he potificated about weather and Canada. If you would prefer to watch Rick rant, click on the link and then choose the bottom left frame to get to video clip. "Torontarded" is now in my vocabulary.

[  Mood: Happy ]
[  Currently: Watching Rick Mercer Report ]
So I saw this on ThinkGeek . . .

. . . and I know I have to buy it. Especially with the stripper boobs I have now.

[  Mood: Happy ]
[  Currently: Watching Project Runway Canada ]
The Boondocks are one of my favourite comic strips. It is the Doonsberry/Bloom County of the new Millenia.

This is the first collection of the Boondocks comic strip, full of Huey’s rantings, Riley’s criminal planning and Grandpa’s tough love. Mix in the first appearance of Flaggy and Ribbon and you have a kick but commentary on our world.

Go read this one. Unless you are a republican.

[  Mood: Hypnotized ]
[  Currently: Eating Breakfast – Toast with homemade Straberry Margarita jam and ]
So a huge winter storm is hitting us. Close to 20cm to 30cm are expected. That’s about 2/3 to 1 foot for you imperialists. Plus freezing rain and ice pellets mixed into the snow. They have canceled the school buses, but the schools are open, which means I am expected at work on time.

Ya see – this is normal for Ottawa. We get about four or five of these storms a year. It dumps snow on us, we dig out and go to work. Unlike Toronto, where 5cm in one day has them calling in the army to clear the streets. Would that I was making that up.

Some nice pictures of Ottawa
Parliament Hill
Confederation Park
National War Memorial
National Art Gallery

[  Mood: Happy ]
[  Currently: Eating Breakfast – Toast with homemade Straberry Margarita jam and ]
Okay, so report cards are now over. YEAHHHHHH!!!!!

So I can get back to reading.

And to celebrate, I read Generation X by Douglas Coupland. I bought this book a while a go, but never got around to reading it.

Now I am a fan of Coupland, who is a bit of the Wunderkind meets Enfant Terrible of Canadian publishing. He burst on the scene with Generation X in 1991.

Generation X is the disjointed tale of Andy and his friends Dag and Claire, all Gen Xers, all in dead end jobs, all rejecting the world their parents made. This book is not a traditional flowing narrative, but rather a series of vignettes about the lives of those born between 1964 and 1980. Also in the book is a glossary that inhabits the margins of the pages. Coupland gives his definition of made up terms, like Semi-Disposable Scandinavian Furniture. Interestingly enough, Coupland didn’t invent the term Generation X, but he did popularize it with this novel.

This is a great book, but it is not an easy read. I do recommend it. Then go read Microserfs, J-Pod and Hey Nosradamus!

[  Mood: Happy ]
[ Currently: Waiting for Husabnd Unit to come home with bread to make me ]
So Stupid.com released a list of 10 stupid gifts for the holiday season.

The problem? No where on his site can you find a page dedicated to that list. Come on Mr. Stupid, stop living up to you name!

So I have taken it upon myself to track down the list, link to it and add some snarky goodness. As I thank you, don’t buy me somthing from the list.

1. Mistletoe To Go
If you use this you are either a) desperate, b) begging for a sexual harassment lawsuit or c) lost a bet.

2. The Hillary Nutcracker
Well, I guess someone had to make the joke. You know a woman in power being so threatening to the average guy. I wonder if she uses this on Bill?

3. Slingshot Monkey
I know two people who have one of these. What does that say about me?

4. Larry Craig Action Figure
How many of these is Jon Stewart going to get for Hanuka?

5. Uncle Oinker’s Gummy Bacon Candy
What rednecks use to freshen their breath.

6. Inflatable Moosehead
Clearly this was not invented, maybe named would be a better term, by anyone who has ever seen a moose. In the flesh. Or on TV. Or on a beer lable. Or on a coin. Or has hit one with their car. This is clearly a deer.

7. Electronic Yodeling Pickle
As you can see, I could not find this one at Stupid.com, because their navigation and search engine match their name. Anywhoo, onto the product. Someone clearly thought this needed to be invented. Why is not for you or I to know.

8. Poo-lar Bear Candy
Too me the saddest thing about this gift is that they are sold out. That means there are enough 10 year-olds (or people who have senses of humour like them) out there to buy this crap. (Excuse the pun.) Stock up on water people, the end of days is coming.

9. Get Off the Phone Excuse Machine
This one seems kind of useful for people without backbones. Just tell them you have to go. If they don’t understand, are they really your friend?

10. USB dancer
The sad, sad thing about this one is all she does is spin around. The legs don’t move. She doesn’t flip upside down. Let me revise that. The sad, sad thing about this one is that there are people reading this who are reaching for their credit cards.

Reported at Slashdot:

Zombie Cockroaches was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

In celebration of the venerable magazine’s 85th anniversary, the editors of Weird Tales are compiling a list of the 85 weirdest storytellers of the past 85 years and they need your help. And they are looking far afield from the magazine.

Time to get crackin’.

Weird Tales Seeks the Weirdest Storytellers was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

[  Mood: Cool ]
[  Currently: Eating Breakfast – Poppy Seed Bagel with butter and a cup of Lover’ ]
So last night I went to sleep and you’all appeared in my dreams.

No, I am not making this up.

Sneezy was there first. He was in Ottawa for work and looked me up. Then somehow, we were both at a RevSF con and Joe and Shane and KD and SuperDave and the rest were there.

Except Dharma.

Don’t know why he would come.

Party pooper.