The One Ring — The Old Road Trading Company

The player-characters in our campaign of The One Ring: Adventures Over the Edge of the Wild have changed a bit over time, as heroes in long-term games often do. We started with Kester, Falco, Gismund, and Caranthir, and at the hobbits’ encouragement those four founded the Old Road Trading Company to bring goods — especially pipeweed! — from the Shire to Rhovanion.

Today Gismund and Caranthir are joined by newer companions as Falco’s player is away at school and Kester’s player (that’s me) is running the game while our other Loremaster is taking night classes. Here’s a look at the companions and their present disposition.

Also online: A Tale of Years.

Beli of the Lonely Mountain

The dwarf warrior Beli traveled with the Old Road Trading Company in their 2948 journey across the Misty Mountains and back.

  • Culture and Standing: Dwarf of the Lonely Mountain, Standing 1.
  • Attributes (Favored): Body 6 (8), Heart 3 (6), Wits 5 (6).
  • Other Ratings: Valour 3, Wisdom 2, Endurance 31, Hope 13, Shadow 0.
  • Key Skills: Battle, Craft, Search, Song, Travel; Mattock.
  • Specialties: Fire-Making, Burglary, Tunnelling.
  • Distinctive Features: Cunning, Suspicious.
  • Rewards: Grievous and Keen Mattock.
  • Virtues: Confidence.
  • Calling: Treasure-Hunter.

Caranthir of the Woodland Realm

A very young elf at only 160 years of age, dark-haired Caranthir comes from a high house of Thranduil’s people. A minor lord or knight of Thranduil’s court, he fought in the Battle of the Five Armies and saw first-hand the value of alliance with the other Free Peoples. He has spent the last few years adventuring with friends from beyond the Elvenking’s lands, drawn by curiosity to see and learn things for himself that have been unknown to the wood-elves for long years in their isolation. Caranthir is often stern but his adventures with men and hobbits seem to have lightened his spirits in ways that the merriment of the wood-elves could not.

  • Culture and Standing: Elf of Mirkwood, Standing 3.
  • Attributes (Favored): Body 4 (7), Heart 4 (6), Wits 6 (7).
  • Other Ratings: Valour 4, Wisdom 4, Endurance 26, Hope 14, Shadow 0.
  • Key Skills: Athletics, Awareness, Battle, Inspire, Lore, Travel; Bow, Sword.
  • Specialties: Elven-Lore, Fire-Making, Rhymes of Lore.
  • Distinctive Features: Lordly, Quick of Hearing.
  • Rewards: Keen and Grievous Sword (Galgos, “Lightning”), Mail Shirt of Cunning Make.
  • Virtues: Confidence, Elvish Dreams, The Speakers.
  • Calling: Scholar.

Falco Proudfoot

Falco and his brother Kester came from the Shire across the Misty Mountains and so to the Long Lake a few years after Bilbo Baggins’ return from his great adventure. The Proudfoot brothers were first cousins of Bilbo; their mother Ophelia and Bilbo’s mother Belladonna were sisters, daughters of the Old Took. Falco and Kester befriended Gismund of Dale and Caranthir the wood-elf and immediately set out to have as many adventures and get as rich as Bilbo himself. Falco was always the more rakish of the brothers, with light fingers and a lighter conscience.

  • Culture and Standing: Hobbit of the Shire, Standing 1.
  • Attributes (Favored): Body 2 (4), Heart 7 (8), Wits 5 (8).
  • Other Ratings: Valour 4, Wisdom 3, Endurance 23, Hope 21, Shadow 2.
  • Key Skills: Battle, Courtesy, Stealth, Travel; Shortsword.
  • Specialties: Gardening, Storytelling, Burglary.
  • Distinctive Features: Elusive, Robust, Small.
  • Rewards: King’s Sword (“Stalk Chopper”), Cunning and Lucky Leather Corselet.
  • Virtues: Confidence, Small Folk.
  • Calling: Treasure-Hunter.

Frerin the Far-Traveled, Son of Farin

Always accompanied by his best friend, the raven named Hrafn — a wealthy prince among birds, with more treasure in its nest than most men see in a lifetime — Frerin the dwarf joined the company in their return from the Shire to Esgaroth, and then accompanied them on an expedition into Mirkwood and in a battle against hill-giants in Greenfields the next year.

  • Culture and Standing: Dwarf of the Lonely Mountain, Standing 2.
  • Attributes (Favored): Body 7 (8), Heart 2 (3), Wits 5 (7).
  • Other Ratings: Valour 4, Wisdom 4, Endurance 30, Hope 10, Shadow 0.
  • Key Skills: Craft, Persuade, Search, Travel; Axe.
  • Specialties: Folk-Lore, Smoking, Trading.
  • Distinctive Features: Cautious, Cunning.
  • Rewards: Fell, Grievous and Keen Axe (“Giant’s Bane”).
  • Virtues: Confidence, Expertise in Persuade, Ravens of the Mountain.
  • Calling: Wanderer.

Gismund of Dale, King’s Man

Gismund apprenticed with dwarves of the Lonely Mountain as a blacksmith before devoting himself full-time to adventuring and serving King Bard. Gismund comes from a large, still-growing family, with something around a dozen younger brothers and sisters. In the last year the king made Gismund marshal of Greenfields, a farming region in the Dale-lands. Gismund was very young for such trust but the kingdom is newly returned and he proved himself on dangerous errands for the king and the king’s allies.

  • Culture and Standing: Barding, Standing 4.
  • Attributes (Favored): Body 5 (7), Heart 7 (10), Wits 2 (3).
  • Other Ratings: Valour 4, Wisdom 4, Endurance 32, Hope 19, Shadow 0.
  • Key Skills: Awareness, Battle, Insight, Inspire, Persuade, Travel; Sword.
  • Specialties: Old Lore, Smith-Craft.
  • Distinctive Features: Adventurous, Generous, Afraid of Spiders, Elf-Friend.
  • Rewards: Mail Hauberk of Doubly Cunning Make, Tower Shield.
  • Virtues: King’s Man, Confidence (x2).
  • Calling: Treasure-Hunter.

Kester Proudfoot

Kester prides himself on keeping his brother Falco out of too much trouble, for while he is  good-hearted, generous and unfailingly courteous he is also undyingly loyal to his little brother. Always cheerful, Kester has composed countless songs of the companions’ travels to while away the long hours of exploring and hiking across the Wild. When the brothers returned to the Shire in 2348, Kester commissioned a fine new hobbit-hole for them to share and hired a household of local hobbits to build it and take care of it. He also made trading allies of his first cousin Bilbo Baggins, his first cousin Fortinbras Took the Thain, and the mayor in Michel Delving. He and Falco run the Old Road Trading Company out of their fine home and a warehouse in Esgaroth on the Long Lake.

  • Culture and Standing: Hobbit of the Shire, Standing 4.
  • Attributes (Favored): Body 4 (6), Heart 6 (9), Wits 4 (5).
  • Other Ratings: Valour 3, Wisdom 3, Endurance 22, Hope 18, Shadow 0.
  • Key Skills: Awareness, Courtesy, Hunting, Persuade, Song, Stealth; Bow.
  • Specialties: Folk-Lore, Smoking, Storytelling.
  • Distinctive Features: Fair-Spoken, Reckless.
  • Rewards: Fell and Keen Bow.
  • Virtues: Fair Shot, Tough in the Fiber.
  • Calling: Wanderer.

Theodore Took

A cousin of Kester and Falco Proudfoot and a sometimes hunting companion of Kester’s, Theodore Took often wandered and explored the bounds of the Shire even before Bilbo’s return from afar sparked his imagination. When Kester and Falco came home wealthy and well-traveled and then went east again, he couldn’t resist. Theodore obtained the blessing of the Thain and letters of introduction from Bilbo — who had become rather accustomed to writing them for adventurous hobbits — and persuaded dwarf traders from the Blue Mountains to let him accompany them to the Wild just as his cousins had done a few years before. When Theodore reached Esgaroth, his cousins put him in the care of their partners Gismund and Caranthir.

  • Culture and Standing: Hobbit of the Shire, Standing 1.
  • Attributes (Favored): Body 2 (4), Heart 7 (8), Wits 5 (8).
  • Other Ratings: Valour 4, Wisdom 3, Endurance 23, Hope 19, Shadow 0.
  • Key Skills: Awareness, Battle, Hunting, Courtesy, Riddle, Stealth; Dagger, Bow.
  • Specialties: Folk-Lore, Herb-Lore, Smoking.
  • Distinctive Features: Bold, Elusive, Elf-Friend.
  • Rewards: Fell and Grievous Bow of the North Downs.
  • Virtues: Art of Disappearing, Fair Shot.
  • Calling: Wanderer.

The Red Stag

A woodman who abandoned his name and became a wandering warrior after orcs slew his family  in their steading near Woodmen-town. He encountered Gismund of Dale, Caranthir of the Woodland Realm, and Theodore Took of the Shire in the Misty Mountains near the ancient ruins of Haycombe, where he helped Gismund recover from an orc-arrow’s poison and undertook a strange, dreaming adventure to help the companions protect the elf-maiden Irimë from an evil spirit.

  • Culture and Standing: Woodman of Wilderland, Standing 1.
  • Attributes (Favored): Body 4 (5), Heart 5 (8), Wits 5 (7).
  • Other Ratings: Valour 3, Wisdom 4, Endurance 25, Hope 15, Shadow 0.
  • Key Skills: Battle, Craft, Explore, Healing, Song, Stealth, Travel; Long-Hafted Axe.
  • Specialties: Anduin-Lore, Leechcraft, Orc-Lore.
  • Distinctive Features: Elf-Friend, Hardy, True-Hearted.
  • Rewards: Keen Bearded Axe, Feathered Mail Shirt.
  • Virtues: Fell-Handed, Herbal Remedies, Hunter’s Resolve, Staunching Song.
  • Calling: Slayer.

Shareholders

These are the owners of the Old Road Trading Company. (Each share represented an investment of 400 silver pennies, or 20 points of Treasure.)

  • Falco Proudfoot (5 shares).
  • Gismund of Dale (4 shares).
  • Bilbo Baggins (2 shares).
  • Kester Proudfoot (2 shares).
  • Beli of the Lonely Mountain (1 share).
  • Caranthir of the Woodland Realm (1 share).
  • Frerin the Far-Traveled, son of Farin, of the Lonely Mountain (1 share).

The One Ring — Heroic Cultures

These are the playable cultures in The One Ring: Adventures Over the Edge of the Wild. Most are detailed in the Adventurer’s Book; the Men of the Lake are detailed in the Loremaster’s Screen and Lake-Town Sourcebook.

Bardings

The people of Dale, northmen of noble origins, tall and fair and strong. With their new ruler King Bard they work closely with the dwarves of the Lonely Mountain to rebuild their land after the long desolation of Smaug.

Homeland: Dale and the region around the Long Lake.

Cultural blessing: Stout-hearted (bonus to resisting fear).

Dwarves of the Lonely Mountain

The stout and clever kindred of Daín Ironfoot, the King Under the Mountain, proud to have reclaimed their home in the Lonely Mountain after living far away or wandering as traders and vagabonds for long years. 

Homeland: The Lonely Mountain.

Cultural blessing: Redoubtable (carry enormous burdens without fatigue).

Elves of Mirkwood

The immortal, magical people (although the word ‘magic’ means little to them) of the Woodland Realm, followers of King Thranduil.  

Homeland: Thranduil’s realm in Mirkwood. 

Cultural blessing: Folk of the dusk (at an advantage at night, in a forest or underground).

Men of the Lake

Proud and hard-working merchants, fishers and craftsmen of Esgaroth, or Lake-town, rebuilt by their hands after the death of Smaug.

Homeland: Esgaroth on the Long Lake.

Cultural blessing: Tenacious (gain extra experience points when wounded or severely disappointed).

 Heroic Cultures - Bardings, Dwarves, Elves, and Men of the Lake

Beornings

Followers of Beorn, a mighty hero who recently abandoned his isolation and became chief to a growing tribe of wanderers and warriors.

Homeland: The upper Anduin Vale around the Carrock, between Mirkwood and the Misty Mountains.

Cultural blessing: Furious (become mightier when wounded).

Heroic Cultures - Beornings

Woodmen of Wilderland

Hardy and wise frontiersmen in sparse, isolated villages and forts scattered across the lower Anduin Vale, from the edges of Mirkwood to the lower Misty Mountains. 

Homeland: The lower Anduin Vale.

Cultural blessing: Woodcrafty (bonus to defense when in the woods).

Hobbits of the Shire

Little people of a distant land beyond the Misty Mountains, rarely seen so far from their home. They are cheerful, hospitable, and industrious, distrustful of adventures and heroics but surprisingly brave in a pinch.

Homeland: The Shire.

Cultural blessing: Hobbit-sense (increase the company’s Fellowship, and gain a bonus to wisdom tests).

The One Ring — A Tale of Years

The One RingThe One Ring: Adventures Over the Edge of the Wild is a tabletop roleplaying game published by Cubicle 7 Entertainment. It features J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle-earth in the years just after the fall of Smaug and the adventures of The Hobbit, decades before the War of the Ring. The designer, Francesco Nepitello, very deliberately crafted a set of rules that evoke the character of Tolkien’s tales and the cultures and characters that he described. It produces well-rounded characters and adventures that feel as though they perfectly belong in Middle-earth. My friends and I adore this game. We dabble in all kinds of games, usually for short stretches, but we’ve come back to The One Ring more than any other.

This Tale of Years follows the adventures of Gismund of Dale, the elf Caranthir of the Woodland Realm, the hobbit brothers Kester and Falco Proudfoot, and (later) the dwarves Beli and Frerin of the Lonely Mountain. I had a joyous time playing the hobbit Kester Proudfoot; when I ran adventures as game master (or rather as Lore Master), Kester stayed home or stayed in the background.

2941 — The Fall of Smaug

Bilbo Baggins of the Shire joined Gandalf the Grey, Thorin Oakenshield and a dozen other dwarves in a quest to drive the dragon Smaug from the dwarves’ home in the Lonely Mountain. Bard the Bowman of Laketown, of the line of Girion, slew the dragon and was proclaimed king of the renewed land of Dale. Bard and Thranduil, king of the elves, nearly came to battle with the dwarves over the grim costs of the dragon’s depradations, but an attack by goblins and wargs forced them to form an alliance which lasted beyond the Battle of the Five Armies.

2946 — Bilbo’s Cousins

Gismund, a young smith and soldier of Dale, and Caranthir, an elf of the Woodland Realm, befriended Falco and Kester Proudfoot, young hobbit brothers from the Shire. The Proudfeet had journeyed to Esgaroth with dwarven merchants after hearing Bilbo Baggins’ tales of adventure and being gripped by wanderlust.

Summer — The Marsh Bell
The inquisitive Proudfoot brothers heard a rumor that Glóin the dwarf needed explorers for a difficult errand and they volunteered themselves and their new friends. They rescued Balin the dwarf and his Glóin’s brother Óin from monster-infested swamp ruins.

2947 — Across the Wild and Across Again

The companions made two long treks across the breadth of Rhovanion, from Esgaroth to the Misty Mountains and back, and then all over again, encountering dangerous adventures along the way.

Spring-Summer — The Mountain Shade
The company of adventurers went on an expedition for Snorri the royal archivist of Dale. After befriending Beorn on their journey they uncovered the haunted tomb of a long-forgotten mountain chief. They traveled across Wilderland to consult with Radagast the Brown and went into the Misty Mountains to meet the Woodmen of Mountain Hall. They bestowed the ghost’s legacy upon a young Woodman named Wulfred, and finally returned to Dale with what they’d learned, bringing Wulfred along to meet King Bard.

Summer-Fall — The Wood-Witch and the Wolf-King
The company traveled with Wulfred back to Mountain Hall. Along the way they were hunted by goblins and wolves who had begun to gather in force around northern Woodman villages. Taking word of the incursions north they fought to defend Woodman Town, defeated a creature of the Necromancer who was commanding the wolves and goblins, and faced a deadly crone from the black depths of the forest.

Fall — Of Leaves and Stewed Hobbit
Returning from the mountains, the adventurers were surprised to discover a hobbit family had established a little inn on the north-south road north of the Old Forest Road. The hobbits had recently lost a great deal of money and goods to goblin bandits, not to mention their cousin who was bringing the goods from the Shire. The adventurers recovered the loot from the goblins and brought the cousin home safe. Finally they returned to Esgaroth.

2948 — To the Mountains and Back

The brothers Falco and Kester convinced their friends Caranthir and Gismund — recently made a King’s Man by Bard — to journey with them to the Shire to buy goods, particularly their beloved pipeweed, and bring them back to Esgaroth to trade. They joined with a company of dwarves and headed west.

Spring — Kinstrife and Dark Tidings
The company made its way to the land of the Beornings, where they helped a struggling village defeat an ambitious bandit gang and thus strengthened their friendship with Beorn and his people.

Spring — Throne of Stone
Traveling west across the Misty Mountains, the company encountered a great eagle, a tribe of goblin bandits, and a wounded elf of Rivendell, who had been accosted by stone giants who had seized two of his brethren. The adventurers rescued the missing elves — actually an elf and a young man who traveled with the two elf twin brothers — and escorted them back to Rivendell safely.

Summer — In the Shire
The company made their way across Eriador through Bree to the Shire — slaying a pair of stone-trolls along the way — and visited the hobbits’ homeland. Kester and Falco were rather scandalous, returning home from adventures with a pair of great warriors for company, but their free ways with the great deal of treasure that they had accumulated over the past couple of years made up for that in most eyes. Kester and Falco began building an expansive hobbit-hole of their very own and Falco began casting his eyes on potential mates for courting. They befriended the Master of Buckland, made a trade arrangement with the mayor at Michel Delving, and Kester and Falco brought their cousin Bilbo in as an investor in their venture.

Fall — The Brother Grim
Accompanied by dwarf traders the company returned eastward with wagons laden with goods. In the Misty Mountains they encountered a battered, bedraggled dwarf named Borin Grimbeard, the sole survivor of a clan who had been attacked by goblins. They helped him recover some of the stolen goods and the body of one of his brothers in exchange for part of the loot, fighting dozens of goblins in an abandoned dwarf fortress.

Fall-Winter — The Yule Hunt
As the Proudfoot brothers prepared to host a Yule feast at their house in Esgaroth, a friend went missing in an ill-advised hunting expedition. The adventurers and one of their dwarf friends went into Mirkwood on a rescue mission and fought their way out of a nest of terrifying spiders.

2949 — Shades of Wood and Stone

Kester and Falco became more and more busy with their trading, selling pipeweed from the Shire to the men of Dale and Esgaroth and to the dwarves Under the Mountain while Gismund enjoyed the status he had acquired in his heroics of the last few years.

Spring — The Hare and the Hill-Giant
Gismund was appointed marshal and defender of a section of farmland in the lands surrounding Dale. He took up residence and began working with his family and friends to repair the traditional manor and they joined the farmers in a celebratory hare-hunt. They encountered a hill-troll family that had moved into the area to prey on the Dale-landers, and killed the trolls in battles at the village and at the trolls’ lair.

Spring — Letters Home
Gandalf the Grey and Balin the Dwarf departed Esgaroth to visit Bilbo Baggins in the Shire, carrying letters from Kester and Falco to their cousin Bilbo and their other many friends and relations back home.

Summer — Don’t Leave the Path!
Theodore Took, cousin to Kester and Falco Proudfoot, unexpectedly arrived from the Shire. While the Proudfeet ran the Old Road Trading Company, Theodore accompanied Gismund and Caranthir on an expedition escorting a trader west on the Elf-path through Mirkwood. They passed through the Elvenking’s halls, where Gismund delivered greetings from King Bard to King Thranduil without too much embarrassment. On the hazardous trek through Mirkwood they eluded spiders and narrowly escaped the grasping vines and roots of a grove of black-hearted trees. The company at last arrived at the Elf Gate and then came to the hobbit-run Easterly Inn and the lands of the Beornings.

Autumn — Those Who Tarry No Longer
Caranthir of the Woodland Realm, Gismund of Dale, and Theodore Took of the Shire parted ways with their trader friend and rested a while at the Easterly Inn, near the Elf Gate of Mirkwood, and longer at the house of Beorn. Under the eaves of Mirkwood, following the tracks of an orc band, they met an expedition of elves. The companions agreed to escort to the High Pass a great Noldorin lady of Thranduil’s court while the other elves pursued the orcs. The great lady was making her last journey across Middle-earth to seek the Grey Havens. Over the next week or so she and the companions crossed the Anduin and approached the Misty Mountains, but they were pursued by other orc bands. One dauntingly large band cornered them in the rocks and hills and fought desperately to overwhelm the companions and seize the lady. The companions held them off heroically long into the night until wounds and exhaustion threatened to extinguish their hopes — but  unexpected allies brought them away to safety on the High Pass where they were to meet the lady’s kin. There a ranging Woodmen warrior called the Red Stag joined them and aided them. Overnight, an evil spirit assailed the party and the companions suffered a dream of ancient tragedies while the lady strove with the spirit in the waking world. Their hearts remained strong, and that helped the lady overcome the spirit and send it wailing in retreat as the sun rose over the mountains. The sons of Elrond came to guide the noble lady onward, and the companions departed with the blessings of the elves. They made their way to Mountain Hall to rest and heal over the winter.

2950 — The Gibbet King

The woodman called the Red Stag remained with Gismund of Dale, Caranthir of the Woodland Realm, and Theodore Took of the Shire over the winter in Mountain Hall. They planned to embark east for Esgaroth with the spring but events delayed them.

Spring — A Darkness In the Marshes
Before dawn on the first day of spring, Radagast the Brown found the companions in their guest house at Mountain Hall. He had tidings of growing evil across Wilderland — orcs and wolves and evil men at large in numbers not seen since the short-lived rise of the Wolf-king. The rumors pointed to a tower of ill repute called the Dwimmerhorn in the Gladden Fields. He asked the companions to investigate and bring word back to him or to Hartfast, the chief elder of Mountain Hall, who would send word to him. The company traveled south with a guide named Magric, a friendly trapper. In the Gladden swamps they were betrayed by Magric, fought off a patrol of orcs and wargs, and rescued a Woodman named Walar who had been enslaved in the Dwimmerhorn for months after being betrayed himself. The company brought Walar out of the swamps, pursued along the way, and reached Mountain Hall safely. Radagast returned and questioned the unhappy Woodman, who gave word of an evil spirit called the Gibbet King who ruled the Dwimmerhorn, and who possessed an artifact that he had yet to master, an enormous length of barbed chain that glowed with evil power. From the description, Caranthir and Radagast suspected it to be the long-lost Chain of Thangorodrim, forged by the dark powers of old to enslave dragons. Radagast departed again, thanking the companions and saying he might call on them again soon in Esgaroth. Before they departed, the companions fought off an incursion of powerful, stealthy orcs of the Dwimmerhorn sent to silence Walar. They nearly felled both Caranthir and the Red Stag, but courage and stout mail saved them and the companions killed all the orcs. A few quiet weeks later they set out for Esgaroth at last.

The One Ring — The Hungry Trolls

A drinking song by Kester Proudfoot, inspired by his and his friends’ adventure in the Trollshaws.

A troll named Bert and brother Ollie, and their brother Trollkin, too,
chased a goat across the Trollshaws, for their goat-and-gravel stew.
Bert said, “I’ve heard of better food, from our old dad who weren’t a liar.
I can smell them from afar: those tasty hobbits of the Shire!”

Block the door, lads, with the footstool for the trolls are out to play!

Bert and Ollie went a-hunting, and came little Trollkin, too,
from the Bounds to Little Delving, hunting hobbits for their stew.
They found the hobbits locked away, inside a larder deep and cold,
and they learned a frightened hobbit’s even hungrier than trolls!

Block the door, lads, with the footstool for the trolls are out to play!

O’er the grumbling of his belly, Trollkin heard a fearful sound.
“It’s the finch!” he cried in terror, “and now morning’s come around!”
Bert and Ollie went a-running, for the Sun was so unkind,
but poor Trollkin was the slower and they left him far behind.

Block the door, lads, with the footstool for the trolls are out to play!

Hobbits came out of their larder as the day began to dawn.
Hungry Trollkin stopped to grab a lazy hobbit as she yawned.
In the Sun he turned to stone, on that fine morning in the Shire,
and there’s naught left now of Trollkin but a footstool by the fire!

Prop your feet upon the footstool for the trolls have gone away!

The One Ring — Five Weedy Goblins

A song by Kester Proudfoot, inspired by his and his friends’ own unhappy run-in with goblins in the Misty Mountains, far from Greenfields.

Five weedy old goblins from mountain-cave cold
Heard of a fine hobbit come far from his hole
“We’ll feast on his fat,” said the goblin-chief bold,
Forgetting how Golfimbul’s goblin-head rolled.

In Greenfields a goblin named Golfimbul came
To fill up his larder and win goblin fame,
But Golfimbul’s goblins fled crying in shame
When a hobbit named Took with a stout club took aim!

Old Bandobras Took was a hobbit renowned
For towering over all hobbits around.
His height every tailor’s yardstick would confound:
A yard and a half from his toes to his crown!

This leader of Tooks met Golfimbul one morn.
No sword did he bear, with but cudgel adorned.
But a swing and a thump and a goblin was shorn —
And Golfimbul without his head was forlorn.

Five goblins from chilly caves, bellies all ringing,
Lay waiting in muck and then all came up springing —
But a hobbit-lad’s knife and thrown rock all a-stinging
Left five goblins dead and one fine hobbit singing!

The One Ring — Falco and the Wolf-King

A song by Kester Proudfoot. Best played quick with fiddle and penny whistle.

Falco Proudfoot of the Shire
had a bounder for a sire
and his singing was more cheerful
even than a toasty fire.

In a happy hobbit hole
or under shady Mirkwood bole
he could give an ear an earful
to a Woodman or a troll.

Falco’s fiddle broke its string
but he wasn’t shy to sing,
whether in a tavern beerful
or the wood where shadows cling.

And we know a hobbit’s song
makes his tall friends sing along
and even wood-elf Caranthir pull
merry jigs to join the throng!

Now a homely wolf named Draug
with a voice just like a frog
and a belly that was near-full
heard the hobbit in the fog.

“Singing’s fine,” said ugly Draug,
“when it’s wolves out in the fog,
and when manly men are tearful
even by a burning log.

“But a hobbit-voice that’s brave
or that’s laughing like a knave
makes a wolf a little fearful
when he’s far from mother’s cave.”

Then old Draugurth gave the chase
but the hobbit left no trace.
Though that Wolf-king smelt a snoutful
happy Falco sang apace!

Well, the folk of Woodmen Hall
heard Wolf-king Draugurth’s call
and they set out grim and wrathful
under Mirkwood, dark and tall.

Falco strode to battle’s din
standing under elf and men,
and although the smell was dreadful
braved wolf jaws to save his friends.

In a rainy Mirkwood glade
the Wolf-king’s plans were all put paid.
Though Falco was half a mouthful
Draugurth died on elven blade!

So here’s the lesson we’ll sing loud
to any wolf who won’t be cowed:
Never close your teeth around
a hobbit lad whose feet are proud!

The One Ring — The Ballad of Squeaker

A song by Kester Proudfoot, Falco Proudfoot, Gismund of Dale, and Caranthir of Thranduil’s realm. To the music of a wind-up golden thrush made by the Dwarves of the Lonely Mountain and given to Falco Proudfoot, who prized it greatly. Some say too greatly.

In the skies over Erebor
Over the waters of Long Lake
Fly happy thrushes by the score
And their songs keep us all awake!

Tweetle-tweetle-lee!
Tweetle-tweetle-leek!
Tweetle-tweetle-lee!
Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!

But one gold thrush with gems all bright,
Ne’er a breeze to lift his wings,
Can only dream of taking flight
And sing his songs on wind-up springs.

Tweetle-tweetle-lee!
Tweetle-tweetle-leek!
Tweetle-tweetle-lee!
Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!

So when night comes, too dark to see
And even dormouse fears to sneak
Light the candle and turn the key
You’ll hear our squeaking Squeaker squeak!

Tweetle-tweetle-lee!
Tweetle-tweetle-leek!
Tweetle-tweetle-lee!
Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!