[  Mood: Cool ]
[  Currently: Listening to CBC Radio ]
Let me just start by saying, I love Barry Lyga. His books Adventures of Fan Boy and Goth Girl, Boy Toy and Goth Girl Rising are intense, well written stories about modern teens facing modern issues. But his books tend to be aimed at the older teens, meaning that they are not right for my Grade 8 students. So when I saw he had written a book for late junior and intermediate I had to read it.

Thanks to his pranks, Kyle is the most popular kid in town. He has managed to prank everyone, his teachers, his peers and the police. He was setting up one of those pranks when the plasma storm hit. He was knocked unconscious and woke up three days later smarter, invulnerable to pain and able to fly.

And he’s not the only one. A teenager was found after the storm, suffering from amnesia and possessing powers similar to Kyle’s. Mike, as the boy comes to be known, quickly becomes the most popular kid in town, displacing Kyle. This makes Kyle very jealous, and he begins to plan a pranks to expose Mike as the fake he thinks he is.

Unfortunately, these pranks quickly get out of hand, and Kyle is painted as a villain who is out to hurt all. Can Kyle convince the town that Mike isn’t the goody two-shoes he seems? Can he avoid capture by the authorities as he learns to master his own powers.

This book was a difficult read, because it was quite obvious to me that Kyle is a self-centred, jerk who can’t handle his demotion to second banana in the kids eyes. And it was hard to have any sympathy for him, and when you can’t empathize with the main character, it makes reading a book a tough slog. Too bad, because author Barry Lyga has proved before that he is a very competent author who is not afraid to deal with tough topics head on, treating his readers with a respect and maturity that many others lack.

[  Mood: Fed Up WIth Life ]
[ Currently: Thinking abouta nap ]
Dear Art-Is-In Bakery

When I discovered your products at the Ottawa Farmer’s market a few years ago, I immediately fell in love. To the point that I bought only your baked goods. I had no problem lining-up for your bread and would happily tell people asking why I would wait that long, why your bread was worth it. And when your retail store opened, I found excuses to drive from the Walkley/Conroy area to buy bread and sandwiches at the drop of the hat. I even added your bread to a scavenger hunt/car rally I ran this year.

Unfortunatley, I have to tell you, my love affair has come to an end. In the last four weeks you have been sold out three times of what I am looking for by the time I get to the Ottawa Farmer’s Market. The first two times were at 10:30 and today was 9:00 am. One hour after the market opened. Apparently you didn’t bring as much because of the supposed rain, the other time an oven was broken, and there was no reason given the third time.

So I as I had to explain to my crying three year-old why he wouldn’t be having his Sunday treat of one of your cinamon buns for the third time in four weeks, despite his getting up early and moving as fast as possible to get to the market to get said treat, it occured to me, it’s over.

That’s right. I no longer need your products. Because you no longer need me. When you were a smaller outfit, my business mattered. But now that you are "trendy", are selling par baked frozen bread to hotels across Canada and offer "bespoke" breads to those rich enough to matter, I am not who you want to sell too. This would explain your lack of effort in trying to keep my business.

And I am happy for you. It’s nice that you are doing so well in a recession to turn business away. You are an Ottawa success story and should be feted as such. I just hope your new friends will be as loyal as your old ones were once you are no longer the "new thing" everyone has to have.

And don’t worry about me and my family. We will find a new bakery to give me what I need. And no, I have no interest in buying your bread at one of the many places you seem to have set up as resellers. I told you, it’s over and that means I won’t be sneaking a slice or two under the table.

Best of luck in the future.

[  Mood: Sleepy ]
I wanted to enjoy this book, if solely for the inventive title, but I actually had to give up halfway through as the book was so convoluted and downright boring. And given that this is supposed to be a murder mystery of a body discovered inside a time machine, that is hard to believe. But author K.A. Bedford has managed to bore me so much, I stopped reading this book.

I mean, the main character looks Seth Green. I wanted to love this book.

Our main character is a former cop who discovered that police officers were travelling back in time to molest children. He reported it, but then was drummed out of the force. Now it appears that he is the prime suspect in the murder, only because he found the body. And when his future self is also found dead, there is even more suspicion directed at him.

But I didn’t bother to find out what happens, because at the halfway mark, I didn’t care. At all. So I gave up.

I will admit that time travel is probably my least favourite of the science-fiction devices. It tends to be used as Deus-Ex-Machina, fixing plot holes that the author has written themselves into. And then there are the implications of you travel back in time to warn yourself not to do something, so you don’t do it, so then the thing never happens, which means that you never travelled back in time, so you never warned yourself. Oh my head hurts.

(And yes I know I love Doctor Who, and I know that’s a contradiction but I am fine with it.)

Now, author Bedford does address this by saying people tend not to believe their future selves and that alternate timelines are created, but again, it is so poorly done that I just didn’t care.

Take my advice people. Don’t bother with this one.

P.S. And, no, I won’t be doing an "Ubalstecha Intends to Read" any time in the future staring this book.

[  Mood: Sleepy ]
So this afternoon, I came to the end of the Fellowship of the Ring. Yes, Frodo and Sam hopped into a boat and floated away while the others frantically looked for them.

Of course this only happens after Sam nearly drowns getting to the boat after Frodo tries to take off.

I left the waterwings at home.

I will say that in the latter half of the book, Frodo is a pretty needy guy. Or at least the others in the party think he is incompetent. There are repeated passages of him falling asleep in one place, and waking up in another. Tolkien clearly implies that Frodo was carried to the new destination be his companions. I know he is the ring bearer and all, but I would have kicked him awake when we got to where we were going and told him to move his sorry ass. He’s not a toddler.

Mr. Frodo, if you are going to keep doing this, you need to lose some weight. No more Elevenses.

Other thing I noticed, the arrival of Gollum. Frodo figures out the creepy one has been stalking them all along towards the end of the book. When he alerts the others, Aragon tells him that he knew Gollum had been following them, but didn’t want to alarm Frodo. Furthering adding to my theory that they see him as some sort of Rain Man or something. Again, I would have told him. He’s an adult and carrying the ring. Best he know not to go wandering off alone or anything like that.

15 minutes to Judge Wapner and The People’s Court

Finally, my linking the characters in this book to the music industry may have come from the sheer amount of singing they do. I haven’t seen that much poetry since Grade 12 English. Oh, Beowulf. How I don’t miss you.

Given the average length of a poem in this book, you are going to need longer arms or smaller print.

So, I am done. I will start Two Towers at some point this month, but for now I want to tackle some other books that have been lying around.

Until next time Internets!

[  Mood: Silly ]
So as I was thinking about the council and the plan to destroy the ring, I remembered this video. I would have been finished the books and on to something else had Tolkien thought of that.

Bur no. He didn’t. And I am slogging. Now, to be fair, the pace has picked up a bit. And I think I can put my finger on what is wrong with Tolkien’s writing. He spends far too much time in the first part of the story telling us what has happened, of stage as it were, rather than showing us what has happened.

See, I showed you not to tell.

Now when I teach children to write, I remind them to show us, not tell us. Because telling is boring. And so is the first part of this book, because Tolkien has chosen to only talk about things as Frodo learns them. Which means we hear a lot of telling.

So, I left off where Gandalf stands up to the Balrog, seemingly dying in the process. The rest of the nine (now really eight) run like deer to the back exit, as if there was a police raid after them.

Someone forgot the sunscreen!

I am within shooting distance of the end. I can not believe it.

[  Mood: Silly ]
So I have finished Book 1 and am well into Book 2. But that would still be the Fellowship of the Ring, which is apparently two books in one.

What has happened to the magical mystery tour? Well The Hobbits! and Bruce arrive at Rivendell, but not without being attacked by the Ringwraiths. In the ensuing fight, Frodo is injured.

Frodo injury not exactly as pictured.

But he makes it out alive and is taken to Rivendell where the Elves have the top tier HMO. Once Frodo recovers, he gets to attend a top secret council. So secret in fact, that Sam can sneak in and no one cares.

Now, it is best to think of Rivendell as some kind of music summit, where the greatest musicians of our day have gathered to fight the evil of the RIAA, who seeks to reclaim the one ring, and in doing so crush the hopes and dreams of illegal downloaders everywhere. (Not exactly how Tolkein envisioned it, but it makes sense.) It is almost like Live Aid. Among the attendees are:

Elrond

Bilbo

Legolas

Gimili

Boromir

and

Gandalf

Also attending is Gimili’s dad, Glorin

Daddy, in his younger years.

And some chick named Arwin, but I’m sure she’s not important.

You can be my Yoko Ono

So they talk a lot, and tell each other a lot of stories, like musicians are want to do between sets. Eventually, and I mean like at least 50 pages later, they decide to form a tour of 9. This means that the Hobbits, Bruce, Donny, the two Jons, and Johnny will hit the road. Frodo, who is fast becoming the Justin Timberlake of the Hobbits, will be the headliner, responsible for casting the one ring into the fires of Mount Doom. The others have to get him there in one piece.

So it’s a lot like Lilith Faire, without much less estrogen. And no sponsorship by Stayfree.

Not wanted on the tour.

So that’s it for now. I should be back in a few days with another update.

[  Mood: Sleepy ]
[  Currently: Eating Breakfast ]
Edit: Since I wrote this, Wil has posted his own take on this one his own blog. You should read it.

Yesterday, geek fave Wil Wheaton posted a rather horrifying (and in some ways embarassing) story from SDCC on Google+. Rather than mess up the retelling, I am posting it in its entirety below.

Ouch. Not a flattering portrait of our world, is it? And Wheaton is beyond gracious by pointing out that he knows that in all likelihood the group he was accosted by would not be following him on Google+.

We, as a sub-culture, really need to start dealing with these fans who overstep the boundaries. And we know they are at every con. I can think of two or three right now from my con. They give a bad name to the rest of us, and in many ways, prevent us from getting the media guests we really want to come and talk to us.

And before anyone says, "He’s a celebrity . . ." and then some incredibly lame excuse for why Wheaton (or anyone else in the public eye) should put up with this, he is also a human being. Like you. Yup, in most cases media guests are paid to be available to the fans at cons, but there are times in their schedule to do that. The rest of their time is their own, to do with as they please.

Most of you know, I am a teacher, so I have an idea of what celebrities go through. I have been out with my family or friends, just enjoying myself or trying to be a mother, when a student or parent comes up, excited to see me. Most just want a minute to say hi, and that’s fine. But some cross the boundary. Like the parent who pulled up a chair at my table, during a romantic dinner with my husband, to spend the time she was waiting for her meal telling me about how her daughter had grown so much since she left my class. Or the other mom who interrupted my shopping at a fair-trade bizarre to drag me across the room to see the children I had taught.

My point here is that while you may want that special one on one time with the actor/writer/singer whose work has touched you deeply, there is a time and place for it. Do it then, and give them their space.

And most of us know this. And we respect it. But we have to find a way to deal with those people who don’t. And fast. Cause they are ruining it for the rest of us.

[  Mood: Cool ]
[  Currently: Eating Lunch ]
So last night I managed to read several chapters of the Fellowship of the Ring. And, as I suspected the arrival of Strider means that the story is picking up. It’s like the first half of the book is Tolkein’s travel log through the Shire. Then he kind of realized that no one would keep reading unless something actually happened.

So Frodo and Strider get to talking in the Prancing Pony, and the Ranger (that would be Strider) tears strips of Frodo for calling attention to himself and using the ring. Frodo also finds out that Gandalf wrote him a letter, which was supposed to have been forwarded to him before he left the Shire. Apparently the innkeeper, Barliman Butterbur, forgot about the letter.

Not this kind of prancing pony.

So, Strider decides that it is not safe for the Backshire Boys to sleep in their own beds, and that turns out to be good advice as overnight not only is Frodo’s home attacked, but so are the hobbit’s rooms. Tolkein states it was the Black Riders, but from them to co-ordinate that kind of attack reuires either telepathy or a really good roaming plan. I think it was more likely the fans.

FRODO!!! FRODO!!! OMG, HE LOOKED AT ME!!! FRODO LOOKED AT ME!!!!

So, Strider invites himself on the tour. This is like Bruce Springsteen inviting himself along. Way better singer, can kick your ass and keeps the mom demographic happy. Unfortunately all of the ponies and horses at the inn have disappeared in the night, so the tour is forced to continue on foot. There is a crowd of admirers as they leave and some apple throwing for revenge. But at least there’s action!

Bieber would not have put up with this.

On the trail, the group hurries to meet up with Gandalf. And they are attacked by the Black Riders again. Frodo, who is the dumb one of the quartet, puts the ring on again. Even though Gandalf has told him not to, both in person and in writing. Bad things happen, and Frodo comes too to find that his bandmates have been worried about him. Probably because they know Fatty Bolger would not have attracted the chicks to the same extent.

No sex appeal whatsoever. Will, however, look charming in your garden.

Sam is also suspicious of Strider. Most likely because he knows the moms will waste their money on his t-shirts. Strider does his best to reassure them, but Sam remains sullen and suspicious.

Hello ladies!

So that’s where I ended off. Notice, I covered about two chapters in one post. Tolkien would have been hard pressed to do the same. Until next time, Internetians!

[  Mood: Sleepy ]
So we had a bit of a break there as I accidentally left Fellowship of the Ring back in Ottawa when I went to Polaris 25. Not on purpose! Honestly!

Since my last entry, the hobbit boy band (as I have come to think of Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin) finally leave the Shire.

Which one is the dreamiest?

We are treated to scene after scene of the boys wandering through the forest. They get lost, they are attacked by trees and other dark creatures. Luckily for them, they are rescued by Tom Bombadil, sort of a Dionysus crossed with Father Christmas crossed with Jesus kind of character. He also has lots of food, which I am beginning to see as a theme in Tolkein’s work, so the hobbits are happy.

How does a man like this . . .

. . . bag a chick like this?

The boys somehow manage to leave the Tom’s Buffet Palace and head to the Prancing Pony, a pub in the town of Bree. There they get drunk, make a fool of themselves in front of the locals and then meet up with Stryder. I sense now the plot is going to finally get moving. At about the half-way point.

And people wonder why I never finished this book the first time?

He may look crazy, but you should trust him anyways.

[  Mood: Sleepy ]
Lord of the Rings update tomorrow. Today I wanted to do a quick review of this work:

This book is, quite frankly, brilliant. Three sets of main characters swap the narrative through out the story. There is the main story of Jin Wang, the American child of Chinese parents who is desperate to fit in at his new school. A school where he is the only one of Chinese descent. There is the purely mythological story of the Monkey King, based on Chinese Folklore. Finally, there is that of Danny, a supposedly white teenager who has to deal with the visit of his somehow Chinese cousin, Chin-kee, who is every racist, Chinese stereotype rolled up into one. Author Yang takes three seemingly unrelated stories, and roles them up into one by the end of the book. And then end, while bittersweet, is just right.