[  Mood: Sleepy ]
So this afternoon, I came to the end of the Fellowship of the Ring. Yes, Frodo and Sam hopped into a boat and floated away while the others frantically looked for them.

Of course this only happens after Sam nearly drowns getting to the boat after Frodo tries to take off.

I left the waterwings at home.

I will say that in the latter half of the book, Frodo is a pretty needy guy. Or at least the others in the party think he is incompetent. There are repeated passages of him falling asleep in one place, and waking up in another. Tolkien clearly implies that Frodo was carried to the new destination be his companions. I know he is the ring bearer and all, but I would have kicked him awake when we got to where we were going and told him to move his sorry ass. He’s not a toddler.

Mr. Frodo, if you are going to keep doing this, you need to lose some weight. No more Elevenses.

Other thing I noticed, the arrival of Gollum. Frodo figures out the creepy one has been stalking them all along towards the end of the book. When he alerts the others, Aragon tells him that he knew Gollum had been following them, but didn’t want to alarm Frodo. Furthering adding to my theory that they see him as some sort of Rain Man or something. Again, I would have told him. He’s an adult and carrying the ring. Best he know not to go wandering off alone or anything like that.

15 minutes to Judge Wapner and The People’s Court

Finally, my linking the characters in this book to the music industry may have come from the sheer amount of singing they do. I haven’t seen that much poetry since Grade 12 English. Oh, Beowulf. How I don’t miss you.

Given the average length of a poem in this book, you are going to need longer arms or smaller print.

So, I am done. I will start Two Towers at some point this month, but for now I want to tackle some other books that have been lying around.

Until next time Internets!

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

The Homeland Directive
Written by Robert Venditti
Art by Mike Huddleston

Promo copy:

A new thriller from the author of the New York Times bestseller The Surrogates!

As a leading researcher at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Dr. Laura Regan is one of the world’s foremost authorities on viral and bacteriological study. Having dedicated her career to halting the spread of infectious disease, she has always considered herself one of the good guys. But when her research partner is murdered and Laura is blamed for the crime, she finds herself at the heart of a vast and deadly conspiracy. Aided by three rogue federal agents who believe the government is behind the frame-up, Laura must evade law enforcement, mercenaries, and a team of cyber-detectives who know more about her life than she does—all while trying to expose a sinister plot that will impact the lives of every American.

Set in the Orwellian present, The Homeland Directive confronts one of the vital questions of our time: In an era when technology can either doom or save us, is it possible for personal privacy and national security to coexist?

Vendetti’s first major work since the magnificent Surrogates (don’t hate on it because of the awful movie) is a MUST read. I interviewed Vendetti (along with his The Surrogates cohort artist Brett Weldele) in 2009.

Abattoir #6
Created by Darren Lynn Bousman
Conceived by Michael Peterson
Written by Rob Levin & Troy Peteri
Pencils by Wayne Nichols
Colors by Andrei Pervukhin
Cover by Tae Young Choi

Promo copy:
The mysteries surrounding Jebediah Crone, the eerie old man who has singlehandedly succeeded in destroying Richard’s once-normal life, has all but unraveled . Driven to the edge of sanity, Richard sets out to finally confront Crone in a desperate, last-ditch effort to clear his name of false murder allegations, return to his family and reclaim his life. Will Richard succeed, or will he succumb to the unimaginable horrors hidden within the depths of the Abattoir?

Vault #1
Script by Sam Sarkar
Art by Garrie Gastonny
Cover by Bagus Hutomo

Promo copy:

A small team of treasure hunters struggles to excavate a dangerous and legendary treasure pit before a massive storm hits Sable Island, the ‘Graveyard of the North Atlantic’. Equipped with all the latest technology, the scientists believe they are prepared against all of nature’s fury, but nothing can prepare them for what they are about to unleash from The Vault.

Graphic Novels/Comics received 8/2/11 was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Nomads: Orbital Vol. 3
Script by Sylvain Runberg
Art by Serge Pellé

Promo copy:

Caleb and Mezoke are on Earth for celebrations marking the end of the Human-Sandjarr wars, running security for the ceremonies. When an incident occurs between Malaysian fishermen and a nomadic alien species called the Rapakhun, they are brought in to investigate and to lead negotiations. But tensions are high, and something is killing the fish in the mangrove swamp. The two agents will have to contend with the humans’ lingering mistrust towards aliens in their efforts to solve the mystery.

Excellent space opera with beautiful art and intelligent writing. More later on this exciting book.

Valerian and Laureline: The Empire of a Thousand Planets
by J.-C. Mézières & P. Christin

Promo copy:

Valerian and Laureline are exploring Syrte, capital planet of a system of 1,000 worlds. Their mission is to discover whether the Syrtians could present a danger to Earth. What they find is a decaying empire led by decadent aristocrats, a population ripe for revolution, and a mysterious caste of masked wise men who discreetly pull the strings from hidden fortresses. Swept up by the winds of history, the agents of Earth will have to choose a side…

The Morning of the World: Yoko Tsuno Vol. 6
by Roger Leloup

Promo copy:

There is a volcano in Bali, the Agung, called “The Morning of the World” by the locals. And that’s where Yoko meets up with her cousin Monya—who couldn’t resist the temptation to use her time machine again. Her meddling with the past has caused a sacred dancer to be sentenced to death. To save the young woman and make things right, Yoko will have to travel back to 1350 AD and face the terrifying flying demons of the Agung…

Ravages: Orbital Vol. 4
Script by Sylvain Runberg
Art by Serge Pellé

Promo copy:

The unexplained deaths in the mangrove have not deterred authorities: The ceremonies will go on as planned in Kuala Lumpur, despite Mezoke’s resistance and growing disagreement with Caleb. But the official optimism is soon dampened by news of further destruction, closer to the city. And when Nina and Angus return with the identity of the killer, an old enemy of the Confederation, the agents will be forced to act in desperation—and, maybe, to pay the ultimate price.

Graphic Novels received 8/2/11 Cinebook edition was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

Within reviewing circles, I’ve developed a reputation as a hater of most things. I don’t rely perceive myself that way but rather as a demanding critic. Realizing I might be wrong, I decided to do some research and see where the truth may lie.

This year, I reviewed 16 movies. Eight were good, six bad, and two neutral. Only four of the reviews didn’t match favorably with the metrics at the review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes.

My neutral reviews of the flawed but well received The Adjustment Bureau and Limitless garnered 72% and 70% respectively. If 50% is seen as neutral then still not a radical departure.

One good and one bad differed. The over top grindhouser Drive Angry achieved only a 45%. In my review, I called it a “high-octane 3-D love letter to the grindhouse creations of the legendary Roger Corman.”

Despite being mired in “92 minutes of boredom and stupidity,” The Mechanic somehow managed a 53% score on Rotten Tomatoes.

Based on quantity and comparison to the vast majority of reviewers, I’m not much of a hater. Then why the perception?

Perhaps it’s less the quantity of my hatred but rather my often vehement portrayal of it? My opinions are always clear and I do take great pride in creatively ripping inferior, overblown things apart.

What do y’all think?

Am I A Hater? was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

[  Mood: Silly ]
So as I was thinking about the council and the plan to destroy the ring, I remembered this video. I would have been finished the books and on to something else had Tolkien thought of that.

Bur no. He didn’t. And I am slogging. Now, to be fair, the pace has picked up a bit. And I think I can put my finger on what is wrong with Tolkien’s writing. He spends far too much time in the first part of the story telling us what has happened, of stage as it were, rather than showing us what has happened.

See, I showed you not to tell.

Now when I teach children to write, I remind them to show us, not tell us. Because telling is boring. And so is the first part of this book, because Tolkien has chosen to only talk about things as Frodo learns them. Which means we hear a lot of telling.

So, I left off where Gandalf stands up to the Balrog, seemingly dying in the process. The rest of the nine (now really eight) run like deer to the back exit, as if there was a police raid after them.

Someone forgot the sunscreen!

I am within shooting distance of the end. I can not believe it.