As long time readers of my pixels know, I suffer from both multiple sclerosis (MS) and fibromyalgia (FM) (and some argue delusions of grandeur… but I’ll leave that for others to determine). I’m not going into exactly what MS or FM are (follow the links above for explanations), but they’re both chronic, incurable illnesses that vary in severity from moderately annoying to debilitating. My primary MS symptoms include severe fatigue, numbness, double vision, and spasticity (stiffness). My FM primarily focuses on constant pain, that changes due to the weather, fatigue and other factors, around the joints.

An MRI of my brain with lesions typical of people with multiple sclerosis

Over the past five months, I’ve developed this pain along my right rib cage (if I was baseball player, they’d be talking about my oblique injury). It comes and goes and can be quite severe at times. Nothing short of pain drugs seems to help it, but not always. Sometimes exercise makes it better but then the same exercise can at times make it worse. Same rules apply to sleep or no sleep. There is no structural damage or pulled muscles. It’s a different kind of pain than FM. After 12 years with FM, I recognize that particular feeling.

Confounded, my doctor sent me to physical therapy. In Austin we are lucky enough to have a physical therapist who not only specializes in MS but actually has MS herself! Her understanding helps greatly.

After a half a dozen visits, nothing was working. I was already doing the daily stretches that should have alleviated the pain. (I start my day with roughly 30 minutes of stretching. Helps incredibly with the FM.) Again it sometimes felt better after stretching, some times worse. Now of the traditional PT worked. The only thing she didn’t try was heat, which usually exacerbates the MS. The fact that the pain comes and goes in no discernible pattern lead to the idea that the pain maybe caused by spasticity. (There are no diagnostic tests for most MS symptoms. Just diagnosis through process of elimination.) The muscle stiffness along my side is quite literally stretching apart my ribs, causing the pain. While this won’t kill me, it can be very uncomfortable and lead to other issues such as poor posture and other pain.

A four-lead TENS unit.

At my last visit, the therapist suggested a TENS unit to me. The Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation unit sends a small electrical current into the body to stimulate the nerves. The theory with me is that the unit might “loosen” up some of the spaciticity, affording me some relief without pain meds. No one is sure if this will “correct” the issue but it certainly won’t make things worse.

She loaned me an Empi Select unit. The device is amazingly simple. Basically attach the four leads around the area of the pain, usually along the muscles or nerve clusters. You then turn on the unit, adjusting the charge as needed. The only bad places are the eyes and neck.

I’ve used it on and off for a week and it does offer some relief for a few hours after using it for a ½ hour or so. I’ve also used it on some other regions affected by FM (different type of pain, caused by different factors) with some success. Keeping the device all depends on how much my insurance covers of it. But I plan on using it for my various pains while I can! Far better than relying on pills.

Shocking relief was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Strange Adventures #1
Written by Selwyn Hinds, Tala Hershewe, Peter Milligan, Lauren Beukes, Jeff Lemire, Ross Campbell, Kevin Colden, Paul Cornell, and Brian Azzarello
Art by Denys Cowan, Juan Bobillo, Sylvain Savoia, Inaki Miranda, Jeff Lemire, Ross Campbell, Kevin Colden, Goran Sudžuka, and Eduardo Risso
Cover by Paul Pope

Promo copy:

Don’t miss this eighty page collection of science fiction short stories from some of Vertigo’s all-time greats, as well as the hot new talents of tomorrow! From the far reaches of space to the not so distant future, we bring you eight science-fiction stories as only Vertigo can do them. Plus: the Eisner Award-winning 100 BULLETS team of Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso reunite to bring you the first chapter of their upcoming new series SPACEMAN!

Abattoir Issue #5
Created by: Darren Lynn Bousman
Concept by: Michael Peterson
Written by: Rob Levin, Troy Peteri
Illustrated by: Bing Cansino
Cover art by: Tae Young Choi

Promo copy:

Radical’s ABATTOIR, from horror director Darren Lynn Bousman (SAW franchise, REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA), steadily inches toward its horrifying last act in ABATTOIR #5! Desperate to clear his name and reclaim his life, Richard Ashwalt searches frantically to unravel the deadly mysteries surrounding the strange old man at the root of his troubles: Jebediah Crone. But as the final pieces of this puzzle begin to come together, Richard must come to terms with a series of disturbing truths that may shatter his already fragile psyche.

Basic Anatomy for the Manga Artist: Everything You Need to Start Drawing Authentic Manga Characters
by Christopher Hart
Cover by Roberta Pares

Promo copy:

This most basic and complete book on manga anatomy ever written is targeted to beginners, the widest segment of manga fans. The latest from bestselling author Chris Hart is not your father’s anatomy book, it’s an anatomy book strictly for the manga artist. Packed with dynamic step-by-step demonstrations detailing how to draw correctly proportioned manga faces and bodies, plus lots of tips and tricks of the trade, this practical guide has everything aspiring beginners need to start drawing convincing manga characters.

Tom Strong and the Robots of Doom
Written by Peter Hogan
Art by Chris Sprouse and Karl Story

Promo copy:

Tom Strong, the popular “science hero” created by Alan Moore, returns in a new epic starring Nazi robots, super-powered villains and political intrigue.

As Tom Strong and his family prepare to celebrate a wedding, the unthinkable happens: Before their eyes, reality alters to become a world conquered by Nazis and ruled by Tom’s nefarious son, Albrecht. What mysterious secret from Tom’s past has brought about this catastrophe? To overthrow Albrecht and restore the world he knew, Tom must find a way to journey back in time and seek help from the only man he can trust: himself. But will even two Tom Strongs be enough to stop the Robots of doom?

Graphic Novels/Comics received 6/2/11 was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

Over the past couple of months, I’ve had several discussions with first time authors about their first book signings. After some twenty years of working in bookstores and producing my own works, I’ve accumulated a lot of info and opinions on the subject.

Back in 2000, I devoted two of my “Geeks With Books” columns to the subject of bookstore signings, one for authors and the other for booksellers. Neither of the columns are currently available online but were reprinted in my collection Geek Confidential. Since this subject has come up recently, I thought I’d reprint the articles. The author one today and the bookseller piece in the near future.

As I reviewed the essay I was surprised to discover that even with all the changes in publishing over the past ten years (ebooks, etc), these guidelines still apply to author appearances.

Don’t Make Me Call You Mama

After many false starts, the talented Mark London Williams recently published his first novel. Mark is an award winning playwright, acclaimed journalist, and a part-time comic book scripter. To his already impressive resume he can now add young adult novelist with Danger Boy: Ancient Fire, a rollicking time travel adventure that introduced the world to its eponymous hero.

Mark planned on promoting his book by attending several signings (including one at Book People), and so weeks before the book came out, he and I discussed signing etiquette. Mark had done many things but a signing was not one of them. Being the helpful, opinionated guy that I am, I came up with a few guidelines that I thought I’d share with the rest of the class.

1) Be pleasant to your fans. They are the ones who put the food on the table.

You would be amazed how many authors I have met that do not follow this simple creed. Fans have long memories. They always remember the assholes. Smile. Thank everyone who showed up. Be humble: you are never as important as the person who has come to see you. NEVER. I don’t care if you are Stephen King or even if you think you are. Without the readers you are NOTHING!

No writer typifies this better than Michael Moorcock. Most of you reading this column are well aware of this legendary writer. I have been lucky enough to host a half dozen or so of his events. Every single fan who comes and sees Moorcock goes away feeling like he has touched them in some way. He is pleasant to everyone. Always makes time to say hello and often some small talk. Moorcock feels if it is important enough for someone to come to his signing then it is his duty to treat this person with respect. He understands the creed.

2) Be pleasant to the booksellers. Remember they want to sell your book as bad as you do.

There is no call for being rude to the booksellers. No matter how much you think they screwed up your event or that they treat you like you are nothing special. (And let me tell you, after meeting like a zillion authors you realize that they all put their pants on one leg at a time.)
Booksellers have even longer memories than fans, and they are the ones that hopefully will be promoting your books. Happy bookseller = better sales.

At Book People almost every employee recognizes Neal Barrett, Jr. on sight. Why is that? It’s because Neal takes the time to greet everyone. To make the time to be pleasant to them. He is not above them. Neal is always willing and ready to sign books. No matter what kind of hurry he might be in. It doesn’t matter to him. He will stop and sign that book. And always with a smile. And the results? Neal Barrett, Jr. is one of the bestselling authors at Book People. And I don’t just mean genre. I mean over all. Neal being Neal makes everyone want to sell his books.

3) Don’t be angry if no one shows up, especially if the bookstore promoted your signing.

Bookstores are in the business of selling books and they will usually do everything in their power to do so. You can expect them to promote the event. What constitutes promotion? Well more than just a sign in the window is a good start. An author can expect a display of their most recent title and either an ad or a mailing. If the store has a newsletter, a mention there is expected as well. But sometimes all this doesn’t work.

Even successful writers have poor signings. The abovementioned Neal Barrett, Jr. is a fine example. Book People hosted an event for the paperback releases of Hereafter Gang and Interstate Dreams, and even though Barrett is one of the store’s bestselling authors, no one showed up. Not a soul. The books sold very well before and after the signing with Hereafter bouncing on and off the Book People bestseller list.

Stores cannot force people to come. And a poor turnout is not a reflection upon the author or the store. Almost every writer has a horror story about some poorly attended event. The best thing to do in this case is to thank the bookstore for having you and to sign as much inventory as they request. Signed books will often sell for weeks after the event. For whatever reason, some fans do not like to meet the author but love to have a signed book.

4) Don’t be too demanding.

There is a major author who has four pages of conditions for store appearances. Her demands include a table of a certain height, special cheese, special pens, and entertainment for the people in line. No matter how famous you are (or think you are), bookstores get real pissy about unreasonable requests. Four pages of demands is too much. Reasonable requests are just fine. Things like a place to sit, water, even a special type of soda are fine. Just keep this in mind: there is a fine line between eccentricity and insanity.

5) Be prepared to do more than sign.

The most popular authors are the ones who do more than sign. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. No one expects a multimedia show (though sometimes it’s nice). A simple reading and/or Q&A session will do.

Any of you out there ever been to a Joe R. Lansdale signing? If you have, I bet one of the key things you remember is Lansdale reading his marvelous stories with that thick East Texas accent of his. (For the uninitiated out there, Texas is sooooo big that we actually have regional accents. There is a difference between a East and West Texas fella.) Not only does he read from his latest work but he started taking requests. Even people who have all his books signed show up just to hear him read.

The single most important thing to remember is to behave the way your mother taught you. Don’t make us call your mom.

And how did Mark do? About 100 kids showed up and four months later his book continues to sell. He was gracious and friendly. Answered all the kids’ questions. Even did a little reading. In other words, he was GREAT. Mark has been invited back in October for the release of the second Danger Boy, Dino Sword.

Signing Etiquette for Authors was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon

One of the many reasons I enjoy writing for Moving Pictures is that I occasionally get to review non-geek fair such as Submarine.

Check out my entire review over at Moving Pictures.

The charming, off-kilter Submarine was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon