Cover by Rocky Kelley

As we barrel toward the August 29 premiere of Rayguns Over Texas at LoneStarCon 3 (aka the 71st Annual World Science Fiction Convention) in San Antonio, I am presenting book excerpts, one contributor per day.

Today’s selection comes from Rhonda Eudaly‘s “Operators are Standing By.”

Manager Glornash attempts to prove just how much of a company man she can be in Rhonda Eudaly’s all too real story of the unsettling world of telemarketing.

Glornash felt her oral cavity stretch as joy filled her pulmonary organ. She had the best, and busiest, Call Center in the galaxy. It was time to get her team moving. She slapped her flippers once more for instant attention.

“Now, let’s not forget which segments you’re dealing with. We have a reputation to maintain. Let’s get to work.”

With one last cheer, Glornash’s staff swarmed out of the auditorium, bipedals automatically stepping over the occasional slime trail left by the gastropods slithering out among them. Glornash would give them a few moments to get to their stations before starting her rounds. This would be a good shift, Glornash could feel it. Revenue streamed in her pulmonary fluids, and today she felt revenue pumping away.

In her slow ooze toward the door, Glornash could already hear the Call Center coming to life. She barely spared a glance toward the production studio, but a swish of movement caught her optical nerve.

She turned to see an organic spokesbot’s appearance slip from the Earth pitchman, Vince Offer, to a Larian version. Not that it was a major change. The only difference between the two were the Larian’s yellow scales and four eyes. However, if a Larian appeared on Earth, it would have Humans putting down their intoxicants and adjusting their television sets. But that wasn’t Glornash’s concern. Her sole purpose was to have operators standing by to take orders, and she took her job very seriously.

Glornash’s optical stalks scanned the floor of the Call Center.

Warnings went off in her hind cranial lobes. Something wasn’t right. What was it? There. She saw the empty station. Scans didn’t show its occupant up and around chatting or at the refreshment station. She tapped into the central computer system; no one was currently in the bodily waste receptacles, either. This would never do. There should never be an empty station, not this early in the shift.

She flowed quickly across the floor. “Where is Operator MX-35?”

Blank stares and non-committal shrugs — or the anatomical equivalent — answered it. “Well, get someone from the On-Call Pool! Quick! One of you from Gleeb! You’re a speedy race, one of you, go!”

Papers flew out some being’s manipulator digits as a blur blew past, zipping out of the room.

A tone reverberated through the hub. “Shift commencing in five minutes. Shift commencing in five minutes.”

Glornash slapped her flippers. “Places, everyone. Places. This is a good day!”

Excerpt from “Operators Are Standing By” © 2013 by Rhonda Eudaly.