Impending Geekgasm on Netflix Instant Watch – Dec. edition

Even though it’s a pretty light month, there are plenty of geektastic offerings coming to Netlfix streaming this holiday season including Kubrick’s The Shining, The Parallax View, Rosemary’s Baby, two Jackie Chan classics (Rumble in the Bronx, Supercop), Guillermo del Toro’s amazing debut feature Cronos, Dollhouse: Season 2, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead, Time Bandits, and Superman/Batman: Apocalypse.

Premiering December 1:

Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman (1958)
Batman Forever
The Crush
Date With an Angel
Death to Smoochy
Dolores Claiborne
Dreamchild
Friday the 13th (1980)
Friday the 13th: Part 2
Friday the 13th: Part 3
Friday the 13th: Part 4: The Final Chapter
Friday the 13th: Part 5: A New Beginning
Friday the 13th: Part 6: Jason Lives
Friday the 13th: Part 7: The New Blood
Friday the 13th: Part 8
From Within
Highway to Hell
Joe’s Apartment
Lord of Illusions
Outbreak
The Parallax View
Police Academy: Special Edition
Rosemary’s Baby
Rumble in the Bronx
The Shining (1980)
Slaughter
Volcano (1997)

Premiering December 2:

Centurion

Premiering December 3:

The Bourne Identity
The Crucible (1996)
Harry and the Hendersons
The Man in the Iron Mask (1998)
Solo (1996)
Supercop

Premiering December 4:

Bones: Season 5

Premiering December 7:

Cronos
Don’t Look Up

Premiering December 10:

The Deep
Journey to Promethea

Premiering December 11:

Dollhouse: Season 2

Premiering December 12:

I Spit on Your Corpse

Premiering December 13:

Scooby-Doo! Camp Scare

Premiering December 14:

The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle

Premiering December 15:

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead

Premiering December 20:

After.Life
Eyeborgs
Time Bandits

Premiering December 22:

The Whitest Kids U’ Know: Seasons 1-3

Premiering December 24:

Porky’s Revenge

Premiering December 25:

Night of the Demons

Premiering December 27:

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse

Premiering December 29:

Suck

Info courtesy of FeedFliks.

Books received 11/29/10 Part I

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Deadman’s Road
by Joe R. Lansdale

Promo copy:

The Reverend Jedidiah Mercer returns with the re-release of the highly influential pulp novel, Dead in the West, and four stories, one never before collected, one brand new. Contained herein are the Reverend’s adventures with zombies, ghouls, werewolves, Lovecraftian monsters and kobolds. Western action blends with grisly horror and ribald humor for a super collection of shoot-outs and fang-outs, claws and crawling horrors, and lessons about an angry, unforgiving god and methods for killing nasties of all kinds.

In Dead in the West, the Reverend faces a resurrected American Indian out for vengeance. Not only is the man back from the dead, he’s brought back others as servants, and they are angry, hungry little devils when there is an absence of light. Plenty of surprises, laughs, gross-outs and slimy horrors, with a slam bang ending. This novel inspired numerous writer to cross the West with Horror, Action, Humor, and a wobbly moral sensibility.

This first adventure of the Reverend sets up all the others, which include:

‘Deadman’s Road.’ The Reverend, on his mission from God, encounters a ghoul who waits on a dark road for travelers so that he can feed his belly and his crippled soul.

‘The Gentleman’s Hotel.’ The Reverend encounters a town, empty except for the lone survivor of a stage coach attack. Together, they face ghosts and werewolf Conquistadores who can not only transform into toothy adversaries, but also into dust and moths and are a real pain in the ass; all of it results in one hell of a cross-draw, dagnabbed, hair belly confrontation.

‘The Crawling Sky.’ In an isolated cabin the Reverend and an unwilling partner face a Lovecraftian horror with a nasty attitude and mind blowing abilities.

And finally, in ‘The Dark Down There,’ the Reverend and an unlikely partner, a three hundred pound lady named Flower, battle kobolds who cannibalize miners and serve a Queen that at a glance could pass for spoiled tapioca pudding. The Reverend even manages a glancing chance at a kind of backwoods romance.

Reverend Jedidiah Mercer, star of Dead in the West, returns in a quartet of sequels to the acclaimed novel. No one writes zombies and other supernatural nasties quite like Lansdale. Enjoy these horrific tales at your own peril.

House of Reckoning
by John Saul

Promo copy:

After the untimely death of her mother and the arrest of her father for killing a man in barroom brawl, fourteen-year-old Sarah Crane is forced to grow up fast. Left in the cold care of a foster family and alienated at school, Sarah befriends classmate Nick Dunnigan, a former mental patient still plagued by voices and visions, and the eccentric art instructor Bettina Phillips, a mentor eager to nurture Sarah’s talent for painting. But within the walls of Bettina’s ancestral mansion, Sarah finds that monstrous images from the house’s dark history seem to flow unbidden from her paintbrush—images echoed by Nick’s chilling hallucinations. It seems the violence and fury of long-dead generations have finally found a gateway from the grave into the world of the living. And Sarah and Nick have found a power they never had: to take control, and take revenge.

The Greyfriar (Vampire Empire, Book 1)
by Clay Griffith & Susan Griffith

Promo copy:

In the year 1870, a horrible plague of vampires swept over the northern regions of the world. Millions of humans were killed outright. Millions more died of disease and famine due to the havoc that followed. Within two years, once great cities were shrouded by the grey empire of the vampire clans. Human refugees fled south to the tropics because vampires could not tolerate the constant heat there. They brought technology and a feverish drive to reestablish their shattered societies of steam and iron amid the mosques of Alexandria, the torrid quietude of Panama, or the green temples of Malaya.
It is now 2020 and a bloody reckoning is coming.

Princess Adele is heir to the Empire of Equatoria, a remnant of the old tropical British Empire. She is quick with her wit as well as with a sword or gun. She is eager for an adventure before she settles into a life of duty and political marriage to man she does not know. But her quest turns black when she becomes the target of a merciless vampire clan. Her only protector is The Greyfriar, a mysterious hero who fights the vampires from deep within their territory. Their dangerous relationship plays out against an approaching war to the death between humankind and the vampire clans.

The Greyfriar: Vampire Empire is the first book in a trilogy of high adventure and alternate history. Combining rousing pulp action with steampunk style, The Greyfriar brings epic political themes to life within a story of heartbreaking romance, sacrifice, and heroism.

More in Part II

Books received 11/29/10 Part II

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

The Last Hieroglyph (The Collected Fantasies of Clark Ashton Smith, Vol. 5)

Promo copy:

The Last Hieroglyph is the fifth of the five volume Collected Fantasies series. Editors Scott Connors and Ron Hilger have compared original manuscripts, various typescripts, published editions, and Smith’s notes and letters, in order to prepare a definitive set of texts. The Last Hieroglyph includes, in chronological order, all of Clark Ashton Smith’s stories from "The Dark Age" to "The Dart of Rasasfa."

The Raven Queen
by Jules Watson

Promo copy:

In this dazzling retelling of one of Ireland’s most stirring legends, acclaimed author Jules Watson brings to life the story of Maeve, the raven queen, who is as fierce as she is captivating.

She was born to be a pawn, used to secure her father’s royal hold on his land. She was forced to advance his will through marriage—her own desires always thwarted. But free-spirited Maeve will no longer endure the schemes of her latest husband, Conor, the cunning ruler of Ulster. And when her father’s death puts her homeland at the mercy of its greedy lords and Conor’s forces, Maeve knows she must at last come into her own power to save it.

With secret skill and daring, Maeve proves herself the equal of any warrior on the battlefield. With intelligence and stealth, she learns the strategies—and sacrifices—of ruling a kingdom through treacherous alliances. And to draw on the dangerous magic of her country’s oldest gods, Maeve seeks out the wandering druid Ruan, whose unexpected passion and strange connection to the worlds of spirit imperil everything Maeve thought true about herself—and put her at war with both her duty and her fate.

The Horns of Ruin
by Tim Akers

Promo copy:

Eva Forge is the last paladin of a dead God. Morgan, God of battle and champion of the Fraterdom, was assassinated by his jealous brother, Amon. Over time, the Cult of Morgan has been surpassed by other gods, his blessings ignored in favor of brighter technologies and more mechanical miracles. Eva was the last child dedicated to the Cult of Morgan, forsaken by her parents and forgotten by her family. Now she watches as her new family, her Cult, crumbles all around her.

When a series of kidnappings and murders makes it clear that someone is trying to hasten the death of the Cult of Morgan, Eva must seek out unexpected allies and unwelcome answers in the city of Ash. But will she be able to save the city from a growing conspiracy, one that reaches back to her childhood, even back to the murder of her god?

More in Part I

Books received 11/29/10 James Barclay edition

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Elfsorrow (Legends of the Raven 1)
by James Barclay

Promo copy:

Another action-packed adventure from the new master of fantasy. The Raven travel to a new continent in search of mages to help the ruined college of Julatsa rebuild and find themselves in the midst of an ancient curse–a curse that has unleashed a plague that threatens to wipe out the elven race. Barclay excels with another tale that pitches The Raven against the clock and unseen foes. Full of desperate fights and secret betrayals, the story also fills in more of Balaia’s history and delves deeper into the ancient emnities between the colleges. Barclay has created a wonderfully appealing group of heroes, and with every book their history grows and the land they live in becomes wider and richer. This is landmark fantasy in the making.

Shadowheart (Legends of the Raven 2)
by James Barclay

Promo copy:

The second of James Barclay’s Legends of The Raven trilogy sees Barclay up the ante yet again and throw Balaia into a full blown war. Barclay has never been afraid of killing off favourite characters, but now in the latest of his blisteringly paced, all-action heroic fantasies he puts The Raven through a trial that all of them will be hard pressed to survive. Barclay has proved himself to be the most successful fantasy writer of his generation. With 200,000 copies in print, Chronicles and Legends of the Raven are building into landmark fantasy.

Demonstorm (Legends of the Raven 3)
by James Barclay

Promo copy:

THIS IS THE END …The dragons have gone home, the elves are safe. The Raven have kept their promises. But fate has not finished with them. As the war between the colleges rages on an old enemy senses that his chance to revenge a bitter defeat has come. Tessaya, Lord of the Paleon Tribes has waited patiently for his moment and now, with Balaia in flames, he makes his move and unleashes the Wesmen hordes. In Xetesk, his forces scattered, Dystran, Lord of the Mount faces certain defeat by the Wesmen unless he unleashes the horrfying power of dimensional magics. And Dystran has not come this far to be beaten at the last by a rabble of ignorant tribesmen. And so the veil between dimensions is torn …And beyond, a predatory evil stirs. Demons catch the scent of countless souls in Balaia. Can even the Raven prevail when the world is coming to an end? A fantasy milestone is reached. James Barclay brings his sensational saga of The Raven to a heartsopping conclusion

Books received 11/29/10 Del Rey edition

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Catalyst: A Tale of the Barque Cat
by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough

Promo copy:

Pilot, engineer, doctor—ship’s cat? Since the early days of interstellar travel, the so-called Barque Cats have become essential to the well-staffed space vessel. Assisted by humans—Cat Persons—with whom they share a deep and loving bond, the Barque Cats are responsible for keeping spacecraft free of vermin, for alerting crews to environmental hazards, and for acting as morale officers.

But a widespread epidemic affecting livestock on numerous planets throws the felines’ future into doubt. Suddenly the galactic government announces a plan to impound and possibly destroy all exposed animals, including the Barque Cats. With the clock racing against them, a handful of very special kittens and their humans will join forces to save the Barque Cats, and quite possibly the universe as they know it, from total destruction.

Vortex (Star Wars: Fate of the Jedi, Book 6)
by Troy Denning

Promo copy:

In a stunning turn of events, Luke Skywalker and his son, Ben, joined forces with members of the Sith armada sent to kill them—and turned their combined might against the monstrous being Abeloth. But with one menace dealt with, a new and even more insidious threat looms.

Now Luke and Ben must go on the run, taking along the inscrutable—and ever dangerous—Sith apprentice Vestara Khai. With a host of Sith warriors in hot pursuit, the Skywalkers soon find themselves trapped on the moon Pydyr, caught between their former allies and a mob of angry Fallanassi. A new truce may be their only hope. But can a Sith ever be trusted?

With the Jedi’s most famous father-and-son team outnumbered and outgunned, the countdown to galactic disaster has begun—and time is running out.

Helfort’s War Book 4: The Battle for Commitment Plane
by Graham Sharp Paul

Promo copy:

It was insane, it was suicidal, it was wrong—
and by God he was going to do it.

The Hammer Worlds have Helfort exactly where they want him. The ultimatum is brutal and precise. Unless the Federated hero surrenders, the Hammer World’s prisoner Anna Cheung—the only woman Helfort has ever loved—will be handed over to a bunch of depraved troopers to be violated, then executed by firing squad.

Helfort can obey, or he can do what the crew proposes: sail his three frontline dreadnoughts into the Hammers’ stronghold Commitment Planet, liberate Anna and the rest of the POWs held captive there, and continue the fight in the jaws of the enemy. Helfort’s decision? Bring it on!

Catacombs: A Tale of the Barque Cats
by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough

Promo copy:

In Catalyst, award-winning authors Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough introduced readers to the beguiling Barque Cats: spacefaring felines who serve aboard starships as full-fledged members of the crew. Highly evolved, the cats share an almost telepathic bond with their minders, or Cat Persons—until, suddenly, there is no “almost” about it, and a particular Barque Cat, Chester, learns to exchange thoughts with his human friend, Jubal. Other cats soon gain the same ability.

Behind the seeming miracle is a mysterious cat named Pshaw-Ra, who possesses knowledge and technology far beyond anything the Barque Cats—or their humans—have ever seen. When fear of a virulent plague leads the government first to quarantine and then to kill all animals suspected of infection, Pshaw-Ra—with the help of Chester, Jubal, and the crew of the starship Ranzo—activates a “mousehole” in space that carries the refugees to a place of safety: Pshaw-Ra’s home planet of Mau, where godlike cats are worshiped by human slaves.

But Pshaw-Ra’s actions are less noble than they appear. The scheming cat plans to mate the Barque Cats with his own feline stock, creating a hybrid race of superior cats—a race destined to conquer the universe. Yet right from the start, his plans go awry.

For one thing, there’s a new queen on Mau: Pshaw-Ra’s daughter Nefure, a spoiled brat—er, cat—with a temper as short as her attention span. Pshaw-Ra’s other daughter, the rightful queen Renpet, is exiled, running for her life in the only direction available to her—down into the vast catacombs beneath the Mauan desert. Far from receiving the hero’s welcome he expected, Pshaw-Ra must use every bit of his considerable cleverness just to survive.

Meanwhile, as usual, Chester and Jubal stumble right into the middle of things, in the process uncovering the lost secrets of the Mauan civilization. But that’s not all they uncover. In the forgotten catacombs deep below the Mauan capital, something has awakened. Something as old as the universe. Something that hungers to devour all light and life—and that bears an undying hatred for cats.

Long Lost Print Of KING KONG Discovered In London Cinema

Ken Hulsey over at Monster Island News reports that a rare print of the legendary King Kong was uncovered within the walls of Grosvenor Cinema during a restoration of the venerable London movie house.

Quote:
During recent renovations to the Grosvenor Cinema, a worker named Ross McMillan was working on knocking down a partition wall in the projection room when he noticed something odd looking in the rubble. To his amazement he discovered that it was a copy of "King Kong." Not just any copy, mind you, a copy that has been missing from the vaults of RKO for more than seventy years.

The most promising and perhaps most exciting bit of news was in the very next line.

Quote:
An original print, that many[sic] very well contain scenes cut out of the film, including the long-lost Lizard and Spider canyon sequences.

After the infamous scenes terrified the test-screening audiences, they were cut from the final release of the picture and are presumed lost. Only one still exists from that scene. Peter Jackson recreated the scene, using special effects and filming methods of the original 1933 feature, for the 2005 DVD release.


Only known surviving image from the Spider sequence

Though dubious, I hold out hope that the scene is indeed on that print. The stuff of countless Kong fans’ dreams!

(Thanks to Mark London Williams for the link.)

Graphic novels received 11/27/10

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec Vol. 1: Pterror Over Paris / The Eiffel Tower Demon
by Jacques Tardi

Promo copy:

Both a rip-roaring adventure series set in pre-World War I Paris and a parody of same, Adèle Blanc-Sec has been enchanting, thrilling, and puzzling readers worldwide through four decades.

With various American attempts to publish Adèle having dribbled into nothing decades ago, Fantagraphics Books, fresh from its triumphs with Tardi’s West Coast Blues, You Are There, and It Was the War of the Trenches, launches a spectacular, newly retranslated, hardcover series that intends to collect every one of its nine (soon ten) volumes.

In this premiere installment, Adèle becomes involved in an interlocking series of mysteries that involve a revived pterodactyl, a frightful on-stage murder, a looming execution by guillotine, and a demon from the depths of hell — plus of course moronic gendarmes, loyal (or perhaps traitorous?) henchmen, and a climax atop the Eiffel Tower.

The Adèle Blanc-Sec series is currently being adapted into a series of films by the renowned action director Luc Besson (The Professional, The Fifth Element), bringing this quirky, very French series to a new worldwide audience.

The Fantagraphics reprints have made me into a Tardi fanatic!

Elephant Man
by Greg Houston

Promo copy:

Baltimore has a great hero. He’s always there just when he’s needed to thwart crime! This marvel is Elephant Man. Yes, none other than the deformed and hideous man himself! But such power and the adulation that follows it begets much jealousy. Before you know it, one of the city’s best known TV anchors, ‘handsome’ Dick Denton and another hideous being fused by some radioactive accident: the Priest, The Rabbi and The Duck, come together to seek his demise and ridicule him in public! Will Elephant Man overcome this new challenge? Another hilariously silly exercise in grotesquery, spoofing superheroes, from the acclaimed brilliant artist of Vatican Hustle.

Networked: Carabella on the Run
Written by Gerard Jones
Art by Mark Badger

Promo copy:

Some alien invasions are loud and bloody…some are quiet and friendly. The blue-skinned girl named Carabella thinks she’s escaping the oppression of her own world, but instead she’s exposing the earth to an invasion so soft and friendly that everyone welcomes it—until Carabella herself sees what’s happening and tries to make someone, anyone see that our websites, our cell phones, and even our shoes (yes, shoes) are being used to steal first the privacy and then the freedom of everyone on earth.

Graphic novels/comics received 11/20/10

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Superman vs. Muhammad Ali
Co-written by Dennis O’Neil
Co-written and illustrated by Neal Adams

Promo copy:

The legendary science fiction epic that brought together The Man of Steel and The Greatest is back in two spectacular hardcover editions!

In 1978, an alien race called the Scrubb demands that Earth’s greatest champion battle their world’s own greatest fighter. Both Superman and Muhammad Ali step forward — and to determine who is truly Earth’s greatest fighter, Superman temporarily loses his powers and faces Ali in the ring. Ultimately, the duo must work together to defeat the Scrubb, with Ali taking on their champion while Superman battles their space-armada.

The facsimile edition hardcover reprints this hard–to–find title at its original size of approximately 10" wide by 13.25" high!

Now how do I get my mitts on the very cool SUPERMAN VS. MUHAMMAD ALI Statue?

Click on image to enlarge

After Dark #2
Created by: Antoine Fuqua & Wesley Snipes
Written by: Peter Milligan
Pencils and Inks by: Leonardo Manco
Paints by: Kinsun Loh, Jerry Choo & Sansan Saw

Promo copy:

On a world where sunlight is safety and darkness is certain death, riots have begun amongst the discontented citizens of the planet. In order to quell these riots and bring hope back to the people, the military has gathered a rag-tag group of both
specialists and known criminals to search for the one last shining hope for the human race: a woman known only as Angel.

Leading the group across the darkness is Omar, a Bedouin with the ability to navigate the world by reading the sky. But when Trooper Jones gets sick with a viral strain within the first 24 hours of the mission, the ship’s doctor decides to dump her into the darkness and move on. In response, Omar, the femme fatale Ana, and gang brawler Monclare journey outside the ship on the cusp of darkness to get Jones some much needed help. However, when darkness does descend, Jones commits suicide and the ship leaves the three pilgrims alone in the dark to perish…

Damaged/Hollow Point Flipbook

Damaged
Created by: Michael Schwarz & John Schwarz
Written by: David Lapham
Illustrated by: Dennis Calero

Hollow Point
Created by: Ron Brinkerhoff
Written by: David Hine
Illustrated by: Elia Bonetti
Paints by: Ong Chew Peng

Promo copy:

Radical Premiere’s TWO new titles in one convenient $1.00 preview!

Damaged

Created by Full Clip Productions’ John Schwarz and Michael Schwarz, and written by Eisner Award winner David Lapham (Stray Bullets), a tale of two brothers committed to justice in different ways – one inside the law, one violently beyond it. Now, with the end of their careers approaching, they must train their replacements, hoping to remake each in their image. But the vigilante code has changed and the brothers are left unprepared for the true lawlessness and corruption that is about to be unleashed.

Hollow Point

After surviving a near fatal gunshot wound to the head, a notorious assassin begins to experience disturbing visions from beyond the grave. He soon realizeds the bullet meant to kill him has opened a third eye into the spirit realm. Tortured by his own blood-soaked legacy, he is given a rare chance at redemption by avenging the ghosts of victim’s past. With the dead as his new employer, he accepts a final contract that plummets him deep into the murky shadows of the underworld, where he will be forced to contront the ghosts of his past and battle an evil even greater than himself!

Books received 11/20/10 Moorcock edition

Let’s take a quick look to see what’s arrived at the Geek Compound.

Doctor Who: Coming of the Terraphiles
by Michael Moorcock

Promo copy:

Miggea – a world on the very edge of reality. The cusp between this universe and the next. A point where space-time has worn thin, and is in danger of collapsing. And the venue for the grand finals of the competition to win the fabled Arrow of Law. The Doctor and Amy have joined the Terraphiles – a group obsessed with all aspects of Earth’s history, and dedicated to re-enacting ancient sporting events. They are determined to win the Arrow. But just getting to Miggea proves tricky. Reality is collapsing, ships are disappearing, and Captain Cornelius and his pirates are looking for easy pickings. Even when they arrive, the Doctor and Amy’s troubles won’t be over. They have to find out who is so desperate to get the Arrow of Law that they will kill for it. And uncover the traitor on their own team. And win the contest fair and square. And, of course, they need to save the universe from total destruction.

Doctor Who in the Multiverse! Yeah, buddy!

The Sunday Books (Les Livres du dimanche)
by Michael Moorcock
Illustrated by Mervyn Peake

Promo copy:

(The following originally appeared in French on the publisher’s site. It was translated using Google.)

In 1946, Mervyn Peake, novelist, poet, illustrator of Treasure Island, Alice, The Hunting of the Snark, and author of the Gormenghast trilogy, moved with his family to the island of Sark. Against the boredom of Sunday Island, he introduces the ritual of Sunday Books, notebooks in which he drew for his two sons, improvising the illustrations for stories full of fantasy.

Sixty years later, Michael Moorcock, a giant of English letters, friend of Peake and promoter of his work, reinvents the rhymes, limericks and the extravagant adventures that formed the soundtrack of those lost images. Two great minds and players interact through time and a family treasure is returned to us intact in its magic.

Beautiful book that sadly only exists in this French language edition.

Sojan the Swordsman and Under the Warrior Star
by Michael Moorcock and Joe R. Lansdale

Promo copy:

Planet Stories presents two science fantasy adventures in one volume from literary legends Michael Moorcock and Joe R. Lansdale!

Moorcock’s Sojan the Swordsman revisits the author’s very first published character, the original incarnation of the Eternal Champion. Rewritten and expanded from its original appearance, this is the tale of the hero Sojan Shieldbearer as he travels across the planet Zylor encountering strange races and even stranger monsters in a fast-paced adventure in the tradition of Edgar Rice Burroughs and Leigh Brackett.

In Lansdale’s never-before-published novella Under the Warrior Star, Olympic fencing contender Braxton Booker is hurtled into universe in miniature, where he must lead the inhabitants of the forest world of Juna against their oppressive overlord—a tentacled, mind-probing monstrosity known only as The One.

The less said about this cover, the better.