Chapter I: Charon Makes a Discovery
Charon, the Ferryman of renown, was cruising slowly along
the Styx one pleasant Friday morning not long ago, and
as he paddled idly on he chuckled mildly to himself as
he thought of the monopoly in ferriage which in the course
of years he had managed to build up.
"It's a great thing," he said, with a smirk of satisfaction — "it's
a great thing to be the go-between between two states
of being; to have the exclusive franchise to export and
import shades from one state to the other, and withal
to have had as clean a record as mine has been. Valuable
as is my franchise, I never corrupted a public official
in my life, and — "
Here Charon stopped his soliloquy and his boat simultaneously.
As he rounded one of the many turns in the river a singular
object met his gaze, and one, too, that filled him with
misgiving. It was another craft, and that was a thing
not to be tolerated. Had he, Charon, owned the exclusive
right of way on the Styx all these years to have it disputed
here in the closing decade of the Nineteenth Century?
Had not he dealt satisfactorily with all, whether it was
in the line of ferriage or in the providing of boats for
pleasure-trips up the river? Had he not received expressions
of satisfaction, indeed, from the most exclusive families
of Hades with the very select series of picnics he had
given at Charon's Glen Island? No wonder, then, that the
queer-looking boat that met his gaze, moored in a shady
nook on the dark side of the river, filled him with dismay.
"Blow me for a landlubber if I like that!" he said, in
a hardly audible whisper. "And shiver my timbers if I
don't find out what she's there for. If anybody thinks
he can run an opposition line to mine on this river he's
mightily mistaken. If it comes to competition, I can carry
shades for nothing and still quaff the B. & G. yellow-label
benzine three times a day without experiencing a financial
panic. I'll show 'em a thing or two if they attempt to
rival me. And what a boat! It looks for all the world
like a Florentine barn on a canal-boat."
Charon paddled up to the side of the craft, and, standing
up in the middle of his boat, cried out, "Ship ahoy!"
There was no answer, and the Ferryman hailed her again.
Receiving no response to his second call, he resolved
to investigate for himself; so, fastening his own boat
to the stern-post of the stranger, he clambered on board.
If he was astonished as he sat in his ferry-boat, he was
paralyzed when he cast his eye over the unwelcome vessel
he had boarded. He stood for at least two minutes rooted
to the spot. His eye swept over a long, broad deck, the
polish of which resembled that of a ball-room floor. Amidships,
running from three-quarters aft to three-quarters forward,
stood a structure that in its lines resembled, as Charon
had intimated, a barn, designed by an architect enamoured
of Florentine simplicity; but in its construction the
richest of woods had been used, and in its interior arrangement
and adornment nothing more palatial could be conceived.
"What's the blooming thing for?" said Charon, more dismayed
than ever. "If they start another line with a craft like
this, I'm very much afraid I'm done for after all. I wouldn't
take a boat like mine myself if there was a floating palace
like this going the same way. I'll have to see the Commissioners
about this, and find out what it all means. I suppose
it'll cost me a pretty penny, too, confound them!"
A prey to these unhappy reflections, Charon investigated
further, and the more he saw the less he liked it. He
was about to encounter opposition, and an opposition which
was apparently backed by persons of great wealth — perhaps
the Commissioners themselves. It was a consoling thought
that he had saved enough money in the course of his career
to enable him to live in comfort all his days, but this
was not really what Charon was after. He wished to acquire
enough to retire and become one of the smart set. It had
been done in that section of the universe which lay on
the bright side of the Styx, why not, therefore, on the
other, he asked.
"I'm pretty well connected even if I am a boatman," he
had been known to say. "With Chaos for a grandfather,
and Erebus and Nox for parents, I've just as good blood
in my veins as anybody in Hades. The Noxes are a mighty
fine family, not as bright as the Days, but older; and
we're poor — that's it, poor — and it's money makes caste
these days. If I had millions, and owned a railroad, they'd
call me a yacht-owner. As I haven't, I'm only a boatman.
Bah! Wait and see! I'll be giving swell functions myself
some day, and these upstarts will be on their knees before
me begging to be asked. Then I'll get up a little aristocracy
of my own, and I won't let a soul into it whose name isn't
mentioned in the Grecian mythologies. Mention in Burke's
peerage and the Elite directories of America won't admit
anybody to Commodore Charon's house unless there's some
other mighty good reason for it."
Foreseeing an unhappy ending to all his hopes, the old
man clambered sadly back into his ancient vessel and paddled
off into the darkness. Some hours later, returning with
a large company of new arrivals, while counting up the
profits of the day Charon again caught sight of the new
craft, and saw that it was brilliantly lighted and thronged
with the most famous citizens of the Erebean country.
Up in the bow was a spirit band discoursing music of the
sweetest sort. Merry peals of laughter rang out over the
dark waters of the Styx. The clink of glasses and the
popping of corks punctuated the music with a frequency
which would have delighted the soul of the most ardent
lover of commas, all of which so overpowered the grand
master boatman of the Stygian Ferry Company that he dropped
three oboli and an American dime, which he carried as
a pocket-piece, overboard. This, of course, added to his
woe; but it was forgotten in an instant, for some one
on the new boat had turned a search-light directly upon
Charon himself, and simultaneously hailed the master of
the ferry- boat.
"Charon!" cried the shade in charge of the light. "Charon,
ahoy!"
"Ahoy yourself!" returned the old man, paddling his craft
close up to the stranger. "What do you want?"
"You," said the shade. "The house committee want to see
you right away."
"What for?" asked Charon, cautiously.
"I'm sure I don't know. I'm only a member of the club,
and house committees never let mere members know anything
about their plans. All I know is that you are wanted,"
said the other.
"Who are the house committee?" queried the Ferryman.
"Sir Walter Raleigh, Cassius, Demosthenes, Blackstone,
Doctor Johnson, and Confucius," replied the shade.
"Tell 'em I'll be back in an hour," said Charon, pushing
off. "I've got a cargo of shades on board consigned to
various places up the river. I've promised to get 'em
all through to-night, but I'll put on a couple of extra
paddles — two of the new arrivals are working their passage
this trip — and it won't take as long as usual. What boat
is this, anyhow?"
"The Nancy Nox, of Erebus."
"Thunder!" cried Charon, as he pushed off and proceeded
on his way up the river. "Named after my mother! Perhaps
it'll come out all right yet."
More hopeful of mood, Charon, aided by the two dead-head
passengers, soon got through with his evening's work,
and in less than an hour was back seeking admittance,
as requested, to the company of Sir Walter Raleigh and
his fellow-members on the house committee. He was received
by these worthies with considerable effusiveness, considering
his position in society, and it warmed the cockles of
his aged heart to note that Sir Walter, who had always
been rather distant to him since he had carelessly upset
that worthy Queen Elizabeth in the middle of the Styx
far back in the last century, permitted him to shake three
fingers of his left hand when he entered the committee-room.
"How do you do, Charon?" said Sir Walter, affably. "We
are very glad to see you."
"Thank you, kindly, Sir Walter," said the boatman. "I'm
glad to hear those words, your honor, for I've been feeling
very bad since I had the misfortune to drop your Excellency
and her Majesty overboard. I never knew how it happened,
sir, but happen it did, and but for her Majesty's kind
ssistance it might have been the worse for us. Eh, Sir
Walter?"
The knight shook his head menacingly at Charon. Hitherto
he had managed to keep it a secret that the Queen had
rescued him from drowning upon that occasion by swimming
ashore herself first and throwing Sir Walter her ruff
as soon as she landed, which he had used as a life-preserver.
"Sh!" he said, sotto voce. "Don't say anything about
that, my man."
"Very well, Sir Walter, I won't," said the boatman; but
he made a mental note of the knight's agitation, and perceived
a means by which that illustrious courtier could be made
useful to him in his scheming for social advancement.
"I understood you had something to say to me," said Charon,
after he had greeted the others.
"We have," said Sir Walter. "We want you to assume command
of this boat."
The old fellow's eyes lighted up with pleasure.
"You want a captain, eh?" he said.
"No," said Confucius, tapping the table with a diamond-studded
chop-stick. "No. We want a — er — what the deuce is it they
call the functionary, Cassius?"
"Senator, I think," said Cassius.
Demosthenes gave a loud laugh.
"Your mind is still running on Senatorships, my dear
Cassius. That is quite evident," he said. "This is not
one of them, however. The title we wish Charon to assume
is neither Captain nor Senator; it is Janitor."
"What's that?" asked Charon, a little disappointed. "What
does a Janitor have to do?"
"He has to look after things in the house," explained
Sir Walter. "He's a sort of proprietor by proxy. We want
you to take charge of the house, and see to it that the
boat is kept shipshape."
"Where is the house?" queried the astonished boatman.
"This is it," said Sir Walter. "This is the house, and
the boat too. In fact, it is a house-boat."
"Then it isn't a new-fangled scheme to drive me out of
business?" said Charon, warily.
"Not at all," returned Sir Walter. "It's a new-fangled
scheme to set you up in business. We'll pay you a large
salary, and there won't be much to do. You are the best
man for the place, because, while you don't know much
about houses, you do know a great deal about boats, and
the boat part is the most important part of a house-boat.
If the boat sinks, you can't save the house; but if the
house burns, you may be able to save the boat. See?"
"I think I do, sir," said Charon.
"Another reason why we want to employ you for Janitor,"
said Confucius, "is that our club wants to be in direct
communication with both sides of the Styx; and we think
you as Janitor would be able to make better arrangements
for transportation with yourself as boatman, than some
other man as Janitor could make with you."
"Spoken like a sage," said Demosthenes.
"Furthermore," said Cassius, "occasionally we shall want
to have this boat towed up or down the river, according
to the house committee's pleasure, and we think it would
be well to have a Janitor who has some influence with
the towing company which you represent."
"Can't this boat be moved without towing?" asked Charon.
"No," said Cassius.
"And I'm the only man who can tow it, eh?"
"You are," said Blackstone. "Worse luck."
"And you want me to be Janitor on a salary of what?"
"A hundred oboli a month," said Sir Walter, uneasily.
"Very well, gentlemen," said Charon. "I'll accept the
office on a salary of two hundred oboli a month, with
Saturdays off."
The committee went into executive session for five minutes,
and on their return informed Charon that in behalf of
the Associated Shades they accepted his offer.
"In behalf of what?" the old man asked.
"The Associated Shades," said Sir Walter. "The swellest
organization in Hades, whose new house-boat you are now
on board of. When shall you be ready to begin work?"
"Right away," said Charon, noting by the clock that it
was the hour of midnight. "I'll start in right away, and
as it is now Saturday morning, I'll begin by taking my
day off."
|