Today's Dilemma: What can I do to have the most fun New
Year's Eve party ever?
Construct a crude maze filled with very angry elves, some flesh eating hellhounds,and
a huge blow up Pillsbury doughboy (trust me..very scary). Invite some of your
closest friends and neighbors and watch the hours of fun! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Raise...some...nahhh, it's been done... Play my favorite party games, instead:
PIN the Tail on the Donkey, sPIN the bottle, buy a PINata.... (email@example.com)
Turn yourself into a walking appetizer tray by pinning finger sandwiches to
your head. It's sure to make you the hit of the party. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I recommend a roaring wood fire, a string quartet playing a collection of Mozart
and Brahms, and a few friends to share a roasted pheasant and a nice aged Scotch.
Oh, yeah, and the slaughter of 14 INNOCENT teenagers who only wanted to smoke
pot and fool around in places they shouldn't be.... (email@example.com)
My child, you should play with the pretty puzzlebox-- I mean Rubik's Cube. Yeah,
Rubik's Cube. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Open this little box for the answer. Heheheheh...... (email@example.com)
Imagine the following said in a Jewish Brooklyn accent: Skin stretching. I can't
give this advice out enough. Just set up some metal pipes, pullies and hooks
on fishing line. Just tie someone up and hook 'em in, and pull. The screaming
mixes perfectly with any heavy metal rock that might be playing.
And a small personal tip: A few well placed drops of lemon juice can work wonders.
Burn them. burn them all. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You've come to the right place for your party needs, We at Cenobite Celebrations,
Inc. will not only cater, but also decorate and rearrange you..err...your home
to suit more victims...uhhh...guests. First we will need to take out this wall
to get a scenic view of hell...hmmm correct that...of when the puzzle box drops
at midnight. Let's go with the moonlight lavender on the table cloth, the stains
will have a more iridescent quality...oh where was I. Midnight,yes. At that
time you and your guests' underlying passions and desires will reveal themselves
in a delightful mixture of fear and blood. A quasi-erotic S&M undertone
to this little, how do you say in America, 'jamboree' will have your shreiks
of ecstatic pain echoing through out hell for eternity, and I assure you it
will all be tastefully done, fun for all, and a party that you will ALWAYS remember.
We also include a complimentary continental breakfast in a thousand years. Oh
and you can't back out now on our offer, with Cenobite Celebrations, once you
contact, you contract. (email@example.com)
Perhaps the wisest thing one may do, besides knowing that pain is the only
true pleasure, is adhere to the following wisdom.
Fun...fun depends entirely on who you are. For some...the sweetness of suffering.
For others, the agony of pleasure. The flesh and its many forms are the canvas
for which we must make our fun...the place from which we must take our deepest
enjoyment. Pain and pleasure are nearly indistinguishable by the Human mind...did
you know that? A simple...twist of the knife and one and the other become the
same. I'm sorry...what WAS your question? (firstname.lastname@example.org)