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Subspace: Clearly Not a Dude
Hosted by Peggy Hailey

Subject: Wilwheaton.net

Say what you will about good ol' Wil (pun intended), he's the funniest and most honest person to talk about the inside of SF. If you only read one thing, read the FAQ. (c_calthrop@hotmail.com)

Hey, I've got nothing against Wil Wheaton. It's Shirtless Wesley that's scarring my mind. And now yours. Heh.

Subject: Why no CRAP

hhhmmmm.... Why didn't i put the full Crap, instead opting for the pg 13 C***?

well, i didn't want to inspire the sort of reaction a full crap would have drawn out. See, I was talking about my supprise about a FREE computer service being free, acurate, speedy, and good for getting me ph4t l00+ for free, so I was only moderatly supprised. Afterall, with proper planning and testing, getting the free prizes thingamajig shouldn't be earth shattering.

Now if we are talking about true genuine astonishment, imagin this HIGHLY hypothetical situation:

a)I go see Ep II, knowing full well its bound to be CRAP
b)Its good

In this situation, I would not shy away from using Crap, along with a couple other words to explain propperly my emotion. going back to our example above, i would use the following (warrning to webmaster, you may be editing this)

You think?

Holy [Sith], Wow, [Filk] yeah, [Sith] on a Shingle, Who took Episode two, what did you do with it, and what was that exelent movie. Crap on a craker (not you shane, i mean a saltene, not a man from alabama) lucas isn't the antichrist, but just her little [banana] monkie.......

and so on and so forth. I hope now you will appreciate my restraint in using only C*** (drobvious@madmail.com)

Restraint is a lovely thing, except in conjunction with a spell-checker.

Subject: RE: SF remakes question

How 'bout "Soylent Green"? Or "The Omega Man"? Saw "Soylent Green" as a course requirement in college, and it always kind of creeps me out... (LeisSuit@aol.com)

Chuck Heston affects me that way, too. Do you think they'd update Soylent Green for these kinder, gentler times? "Soylent Green is puddin'! It's puddin'!" Mmmmmmmm... puddin'.

Subject: Bad Joe

<<Personally, with the winter coming, I want me a dead Tauntaun, so I can cut it open and curl all up inside it, all warm and cuddly and snug. Mmmmmmmm.>>

Ok, THAT was gross! Yuck!

I fell on the floor with bad images in my head and my tummy trying to crawl out through my nose....ewwwwwwwwwwwww....

Bad Joe! I think YOU deserve a trip to the drab room! (mnewman@tulane.edu)

Unfortunately, if we sent Joe to the Drab Room, his sparkling wit and bubbly personality would suck the drab right off the walls, thereby rendering the room useless for further punishments.

Subject: I wonder if I have any room left...?

<<Rubber Duckie: Not just for the bathtub anymore!>>

Oh, that is SO going up on my door later! Just need to find a clear spot....

You nail rubber duckies to your door and you're worried about a dead Tauntaun reference?

<<You and the dude with the rubber duckie should get together. Imagine a rubber duck spouting sci-ku. It makes me all-a-tingle!>>

Ermm...I will assume you mean "dude" in a non-gender specific way. Cause this dude is most definently a girl.

Oh, don't mind him. Once you start talking about rubber duckies he loses all sense.

As for the sci-kus, please forgive me, as I'm not very good at this...

I have been waiting
on this line all filking day.
Will you sign my duck?

The dude with the duck
Is most clearly not a dude.
Girls read sci-fi too!

The duck cannot read.
Nor can it spout poetry.
The duckie goes "quack!"

Oooh..I'm quite sorry for those. I promise never to do that again. (mnewman@tulane.edu)

You had to bring up the rubber duckies again. It's gonna take us DAYS to calm Rick down.

Subject: six degrees

it am wednesday! where am new 6 digress? me not mad at you, joe! me think you hard worker. hello! (bizarro@dccomics.com)

You're close, but the classic Sci-ku structure is a 5-7-5 cadence. A little fine-tuning and you'll be churning 'em out like out etoilepaix here:

Subject: Sciku: movie edition

It's movie season!
This year we get many to
Choose among. Or not?

One: Harry Potter.
I admit I read the books.
Really rather good.

But the movie? Hmm.
I was more watching the guy
That I had brought. Cute!

Lord of the Rings next
Installment One, anyway
I will go see it.

Whatever happened
To the "The Matrix" sequel?
I have heard no news.

Then Episode two.
In high school I skipped class to
attend the premiere.

And I will again!
The same friend and I will play
At College hooky.

I am done for now
But I will vist more bad
sciku tomorrow. (etoilepaix@aol.com)

SCI-KU!!

Welcome, noble friend.
Your Sci-ku reviews kick ass.
Please send some more soon.

Discuss Potter books
With smart and funny people
On our message board.

Lord of the Rings nears.
Can good come from one who gave
Us Meet the Feebles?

So Buffy and Spike
Are doing the nasty now?
Are they still singing?

Sorry - once the sci-kus start I get giddy as a little girl.

Subject: Invader Zim

Hi, my name is Ben, and i've never seen Invader Zim. Thus begins another meeting of HSZA (Haven't Seen Zim Anynimous) Guest speakers will cover such topics as "No, Zim is not like Buzz Lightyear: Space Ranger" and "INVADER HUTA breath, not INVID. Get these Robotehc geeks out of here" also watch for a special lecture by Harlan Ellison and the spirit of RAH on "How Satanic Worship leads to your kids becoming Corporate Attorneys" (bblatt11@aol.com)

Hi, Ben. So tell me; if none of us here at the meeting have seen Invader Zim, how do we know he isn't like Buzz Lightyear: Space Ranger? And even Satan hisownself tries to avoid corporate attorneys.

Subject: Hey, I like fishing shows!

"I was moreso berating the loss of stuff for kids to watch on free TV Saturday mornings besides Saturday Today, hunting and fishing shows, and this week in college football."

What's wrong with fishing shows? I always watch to see what's new with fly-fishing and doggone it, if I didn't watch my huntin' shows (notice, I didn't say 'hunting') I'da never scored my favorite hunting cap from Mossberg. (c_calthrop@hotmail.com)

Nobody said fishing shows were bad. Heck, I'd be lost without my Bass-o-Matic. But variety is the spice of life, and you can only watch Earl pull a mudcat out of the water so many times before a Bugs Bunny break becomes necessary.

Subject: rhythman1234 and Invader ZIM

<< Yep, FOX Kids can go tunnel off down the Great Toilet Bowl that has vanquished much worthier adversaries like Lone Gunmen and even Cleopatra2525. >>

At last, I have found someone who sees the light with me! Come, fellow brother. We must storm the evil FOX Kids castle together...

Oh, yeah, and I was just checking out that TV Guide, and it appears that Invader ZIM is switching times AGAIN. The show is going back to its original 9PM/8PM Central time slot. Will Nickelodeon just make up their minds already?! (a@b.c)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You want television executives who can't see past the next Happy Meal tie-in to recognize and support a show simply because people like it? We should all live in that lovely corner of Fairy Land.

Subject: Sci Fi Soundtracks

Led Zepplin for your Sci Fi & Fantasy Needs--Immigrant Song, Battle of Evermore, Misty Mountain Hop, and Gallow's Pole. Okay, throw in some
Hendrix too. Hey wait... what about Pink Floyd? Oh and wait White Zombie and Rob Zombie stuff you know "More Human Than Human" diggin' on Blade Runner man... Oh wait classical music especially Wagner, "Flight of the Valkyries" that's awesome for space mecha combat. Oh but Nine Inch Nail's industrial stuff and Filter and ...wait a minute Electric Hell Fire Club definitely, oh and let's not forget CCCP, but then there's like Enya, and Loreena McKennit that are cool especially if you have noteiced the connection between the very soothing tracks from McKennit means that the movie is going to have a freak-out blood fest in it. Oh wait Thomas Dolby....OOOhhh what about Devo. Of course Blue Oyster Cult. Sonic Youth especially the "Sprawl" track lends itself to cyberpunk...Lords of Acid...Happy Rhodes...Jane Siberry...Shonen Knife....okay rant done can sleep now...zzzzzzzzz... (nettroll@email.com)

What? No Michael Bolton?

Subject: scifi music

wow, rhythman1234 kind of said exaclty what I would have said about scifi music with two exceptions:

Clasic (ie. mass consumption) scifi need clasic music. period. Don't beleve me, watch the beggining of enterprise.

I would include Skinny Puppy under cyber punk, but it all personal taste (I only listened to FF last time i read neuromancer) (drobvious@madmail.com)

Depends on what you mean by "classic". Three Dog Night was a fine band, but I have no desire to listen to "Momma Told Me Not To Come" while reading Dune.

Subject: Some People Will Believe Anything

I just thought you'd like to know that at least one person appears to have believed every word of the story about the "Hubbard Award" for Whitley Streiber.

I always believe every word of what I read here.

We got an e-mail today from someone asking if he can get advance seating for this award ceremony.

Yeah, right! As if a crowd that size could be anything but first-come, first-serve.

Now, I couldn't really tell if maybe he was pulling our leg as well, but on the chance that he was not, I explained that the technical term for such things is "a joke" or "satire."

Ooooooo! I love it when you get technical.

For a good plain-English explanation of how the Hugo Awards actually work, I referred him to Cheryl Morgan's article on her EMERALD CITY website at http://www.emcit.com/hugo_home.shtml.

Best,

Kevin Standlee
Co-Administrator
2002 Hugo Awards (hugos@conjose.org)

If, on the other hand, you prefer snarky commentary delivered in fractured English with sci-ku and numerous puddin' references, then don't touch that dial!


Peggy Hailey is Books Editor for RevolutionSF.

 
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